As promised, @Mapachtli, this is my update. It’s copied over from my personal journal so it may be quite lengthy.
Summary: goal of perceiving time in a nonlinear manner was achieved, tried to look at my “future” godform and accidentally ended up kinda stuck in old memories from my ‘first’ life, method has been excellent though the amount and intensity of eye and brow twitches were slightly alarming. I will be exploring it further. (Note: T is a companion of mine. Half-Outer God, half-human. Brains and the psyche are pretty much his hobby so I asked him for advice.)
–
After all the banishing, shielding, etc and getting into a meditative state, T advised me to direct an energy ball specifically into a part of my brain somewhere near the ears through the spine, on the left side specifically. The energy seemed to stimulate the brain, but soon dissipated into it. On successive attempts I was able to achieve “nonlinear time perception” for one object or two because the effect stopped the moment the supplied energy ran out.
T said that I should establish a constant energy supply from the root up to that area of the brain instead of feeding it a huge amount at once, and thus that’s exactly what I did. It worked exceptionally well, and I was on the verge of sensory overstimulation because the room I was in and everything outside it was bursting with images of their different states.
My eyes were twitching very badly. I remembered someone had suggested I view my own timeline first, and thus I tried. The two ‘ends’ were both shining bright white light, which really surprised me in a bad way. I tried to focus in and see my godform. For some reason my eyes were opening and closing involuntarily. I got a few glances of it but then everything vanished and I was no longer a spectator. My entire brow was twitching like crazy. I was the seraph of golden light, in that place with no shadows. These were very old memories that I’d prefer to forget.
I tried to shift my consciousness away but ended up somewhere where there was only white light, and “I” had no form. There was nothing there, I could not seem to leave and I called the names of those I was close with without any response. As a last resort I tried opening my physical eyes but all I saw was that same white nothing. I was a little freaked out. I tried to shift again, but instead a loud voice said, “You don’t want to be part of divinity. You want freedom? Fine, you’ll have it.” The light vanished and I had a very strange feeling. The closest I can describe it is a giant boot stamping on you, but at least when I opened my eyes this time, I was back in ‘reality’.
T seemed exceptionally proud of himself and asked me to work on the right back part of the brain next time to help expand my physical sight and to stop obsessing over Nyarlathotep. Hah, I’m trying! This has given me a lot to think about and brought up more questions that I expected, especially when I’m already uncertain about too many things. I’ve never really considered the brain angle before but it is pretty intriguing. I’ll look up some journal articles and go educate myself on brain nomenclature.