Usually I would put this into my journal but I kinda want this to be its own topic. Ive researched curses and peoples experiences for a very long time before finally doing my first one, mainly because there are a lot of warnings out there about how you need to do it just right or it will come back to haunt you.
Basically this put me into a back and forth for a long time and I never really came across any threads where people share their experiences about what changed for THEM after they did a curse. There are a lot of threads about what happened to the target of a curse, but never about the person doing the curse (or at least I never found one).
So thats why I want to make this post, as Im not in contact with the target anymore I have no idea if it worked or not, but Im quite positive that it did.
Anyway…lets start with some context.
Why did I want to curse someone in the first place?
Back when I was in my teens we got this new guy in our class. He had failed pass onto the next school year twice, which meant he was 2 years older than us which, in that age range, gave him quite the advantage physically. He immediately proceeded to capitalize on said advantage by bullying people as he pleased, me included.
Some guys got on his good side (which Im gonna have to assume they did out of fear) which meant that he had a gang of idiots following him around.
One day he targeted my friend while we were in the changing rooms getting ready for sports class.
I never stood up for myself but when he bullied my friend (and my friends supposed friends laughed about it instead of calling the guy out for bullying their friend) I stood up for him. Admittedly not in the most diplomatic way possible “Leave him alone you son of a bitch!”, but you also have to take into account that he was a menace on our class for several months at this point and it just had been building up.
Suprisingly he did nothing in response. Even though his friends riled him up.
I stood there and gave him a chance to do something but he got back to tying his shoes amd didnt do anything. I thought “hm, maybe that made him realize what he is doing” and I went out onto the sports field because I was done changing.
I then jogged some rounds outside, as we were supposed to, and suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my ankle and fell to the ground. Before realizing what had really happened I tried getting up and was punched in the face. Turns out he had jumped into my ankle from behind and punched me before I had a chance to process.
When I finally realized what had happened I saw myself confronted with him and 6-7 of his “buddies” standing right in front of me. Without really thinking I moved towards him, ready to punch the shit out of him. Just before I reached him someone grabbed my shoulder and said “youre bleeding heavily”. I guess that sense of clarity I got right there made me falter, because in that moment I had a second to think and realized I was about to start a fist fight with 7-8 people. I grabbed my nose and my whole hand was immediately full of blood so I went to the bathroom instead of my original plan. I cleaned myself but the blood just kept pouring out. My whole shirt was already completely red once I had reached the bathroom and my nose just didnt stop bleeding.
Inthr end my school did absolutely nothing to punish him and I had to have surgery for my nose. I still have a visible “bulk” or whatever its called and it wont ever go away again.
For the longest time I hated myself for not getting my revenge then and there. I still think I shouldve…maybe thats something I still have to work on somehow. Anyway…
How did I curse him?
I had been thinking about this incident ever since. There were probably some years where I didnt think about it but it never quite left me for good.
The months before I finally did the curse I kept thinking about this (and other injustices I had to endure throughout my life) more and more. I had never really settled on doing a curse. I always thought I needed to know more and I also was hesitant because I couldve been more diplomatic when telling him to stop. But alas it kept coming up and one day while I was walking in the woods my mind circled in on the topic. I realized the injustice, how awful people are to always declare how they hate bullies and how mostly nobody ever does anything against it, how I wouldve decimated him if it wasnt for his gang of buddies…all of it assaulted me and I put myself back into that situation and I struck him just as he did me back then. I “felt” how my punch connected and how that was a visual representation of him getting what he deserves.
Contrary to what you should feel after doing a curse (no remorse, completely justified) I still was a little unsure about what I did. I wasnt 100% convinced that it worked, that I did everything right. But I was convinced MOSTLY, and frankly I ferl like thats good enough.
How did I feel? What changed?
Right after doing the curse I felt insanely good. Euphoric. On top of the world.
Finally I had avenged myself. I did what I always felt was right but everyone told me was wrong: getting revenge. An attempt at justice.
Curiously enough I also felt my nose hurting where it had been broken back then (mind you its been 15 years since the incident happened and I hadnt felt pain in my nose in like forever). I reasoned that this is some sort of cleansing and maybe a pathway to get more in contact with my body again. It was a little unpleasant (and it kept happening the following days too) but I wholeheartedly believe its something positive. Maybe I stored the pain and am finally letting it out. I do recall vividly that I swote vengeance back when it happened. I recall saying to myself “I will not take THIS”, because a lot of injustices happened to me back then and my father is the type of person to avoid conflict at any cost, so the advice I got back then was basically to take it and not do anything in return. Feels good to finally start breaking free from this prison.
Other feelings include elation and tiredness.
Interestingly enough I also finally felt like I could forgive him. Thats another piece of advice I always received “forgive him and it wont bother you anymore”. Frankly I always thought thats bullshit and people tell this to themselves so they dont have to take action. But conversly after getting my revenge in form of this curse I feel like the scales are balanced again and I see the guy in a different light now. Id probably have a friendly chat with him, should I ever meet him again (very unlikely I will).
Would I recommend doing a curse?
Yes, BUT.
Doing this curse felt incredibly freeing and I cant recommend doing it enough.
However: I spent AT LEAST 5 years pondering this.
I discussed ins and outs with myself and had a lot of revelations along the way.
If you, who is reading this right now, are completely new to this as I once was and if you feel an immense hatred towards someone who wronged you, then know that you feel this way for a good reason.
My advice however would be to hold onto that hatred until youre confident that you learned enough to where the curse doesnt backfire, because I totally believe that thats possible and I believe it didnt happen for me because I learned so much beforehand.