So for the past week I’ve been wrecked by anxiety and today it cumulated to the point I nearly lost consciousness at work. Nothing causes you more anxiety than having your dream brought to you it seems. Especially if this dream involves you being physically ripped from your comfort zone. Like literally.
Anyway I asked the same lord who makes my dreams come true to help me decide which path to take. I am honestly still unsure but at least right now I will be able to go to bed without rolling around for hours and crying out names I should have forgotten by now.
I made a very simple meditation of sitting and meditating in front of the altar while listening to his enn being played from my computer. In my mind’s eye I was sitting on a bony field in front of a gargantuan three headed dragon. The dragon was huge, tall like a mountain and if he so wanted he could have crushed me. Bune however embraced me with his wings and whispered to me that I can reject his gift and take a different path. He would take no offense and he would stand by me no matter what I decided to do. His whispers calmed me down, I was worried he wouldn’t support me any longer.
Bune leaned one of his maws closer and asked me to imagine my fears as physical entities. And so I did, I imagined my fears as dark, spastic entities in front of me and as I did I could feel my anxiety losing its grip on me. Bune devoured all entities that appeared and with each one he devoured I felt more at peace. That was not the end however. Thought my body I could feel strange sensations, like suckers of tentacles holding on to my back, spine, lobe, different places on my body. One by one I could feel these tentacles detaching. Whatever entities were holding on to me were ripped off by the dragon and devoured. I physically felt them being torn away from my very soul. I literally can’t describe how different I feel right now. Fears are still present of course but right now they’re barely whispers in the distance, hell not even that.
Clearly exorcism is not only beneficial for you and your well being, it’s a great offering to those that protect you. I have no idea what these entities are, perhaps egregores created by my fears. Bune appreciated me sacrificing them to him and I feel a lot lighter and energetic. ADHD and my inability to make sovereign decisions is debilitating like fuck, especially since I stopped taking medication. However it seems like I can use my weakness as an offering, he appreciated it more than any other offering I ever gave him. I don’t think any god will say no to an offering of your inner demons.