Long post warning!!
Hi BALG! Similar situations has
probably been posted/ many people going through the same things. Don’t know what to search up and I want personal advice.
So basically, I feel as I have been unwilling trapped into a connection for 2 years. Two years ago I had broken up with my boyfriend and was really hung up. The boyfriend in question isn’t related to this post. After a few months, I had slept with a mutual friend of ours. When I was dating my ex-boyfriend, it was impossible for me to be physically/romantically/sexually attracted to anybody except for him. That is just how my brain works. I am totally devoted and porn won’t even work on me. But while I was dating my ex-boyfriend seeing the person who this post is about made me actually acknowledge that he was attractive and I would be into him if I were single. Which that type of acknowledgment never happens to me ever. I’ll just call them person A. After I had slept with the person a few times that day, he was lying in my lap asleep and I randomly got a burst of emotion that I was into him. It was very strong and it felt very strange. I am not into hook up culture nor really men at all so this experience was very strange to me. These two people in the posts are the only men I have ever been attracted to in my life. Person A had a girlfriend and I unwillingly went against my morals to sleep with him. These things are stuff I would never do. I don’t think this guy is into witchcraft but I don’t even think I’d tell anybody I haven’t known for like 5+ years. But ever since that experience, my life has been rapidly developing non stop than ever before. Too many learning experiences and it hurts. As well as I feel like this dude haunts my mind. I fell down the stupid twin flame thing and then realized I’m my own person and it seems like a stupid thing to get you to spend money on life coaches. I went from a bit anxious but still me to a very different person. I became loud, happy, confident, picking up more hobbies and talents. Just since the last day I had seen him, most days were progress on something. My life has changed so I can learn, grow, and become myself again before I had childhood trauma. But with that growing came this weird 2 years of haunting. Before I get into this, I would like to say I have tried cord cutting, contact me spells and petitions, therapy, problem solved to see if there was any link of me shoving any emotions onto him or projecting how I felt abt my ex onto him, just tried to forget. This situation bothers me because even with 2 years of no contact and trying to get him out of my brain, I cannot forget him and feel his energy lingering. Whenever I have a bad day and go to sleep on a bad note (which I always try to go to sleep in a good mood but some days I am so tired I fall asleep instantly) I wake up and I feel like I have been hugged and caressed specifically by him. Like my brain knows…? When I have conversations with myself in my head I hear him telepathically sometimes pitch in especially if I feel exhausted or struggling. These are positive reinforcements and reassuring words. At times when I am not particularly thinking about anything I will get a random burst of infatuation with no thought. But then a while after thinking I know it is coming from this weird energy I believe is him. Whenever I want to do divination on this I get so incredibly stressed that my mind gets cloudy and I am unable to do so. I had somebody pull some cards and they all seems very romantically positive. But this isn’t what I want. I’m unsuccessful in cord cutting or reconciliation. I seem to feel his presence every day. I would like to move on because for one being attracted to men is very not in character for me. As well as I can’t date or hold a romantic connection with anybody else now since this happened. I can’t seem to be interested in anybody. And honestly this is stunting me because I’m a pretty attractive woman who takes care of herself. It is hurting me a lot because I feel as I am extremely depraved of touch. I have my friends who hug me and do nice things for me but I still feel like I’m starving. I have many thoughts that go through my head in the day. I keep focused on work and a lot of my hobbies. I have so much things I think about. But he is inserted in there for some reason and I’m so tired of it. I also see people who resemble him in public but aren’t him at all. I would rather get the intimacy over with or just move on. I am not sure if a love spell has been casted on me because I think it’s pretty unlikely he would be into these kind of things.
So basically, I am asking for advice or knowledge to lead me in the right direction. What is going on? Since no spell or petition has worked on my end I would like advice on what to do or if somebody knows a very strong entity that would either bring clarity, reconciliation, or detachment. Or am I suppose to do this as a lesson since I feel as I am trapped with this overwhelming experience and nothing is helping. I am so stressed that I cannot even pull tarot. Any advice or input would help.