Driven to start working with a spirit

New Magician Help & Introductions
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I’m just going to type this out with blunt honesty, because I’ve been here long enough to see that that’s how to best type a post here. (A good thing IMO, not a bad one.)
I am still very new to the left handed path, (was at a slightly higher level of understanding and experience when trying to stay right handed, love and light path.) The darker side is still a strange exciting and uncharted new road, and I wanted to dip my toes in and start to get my feet yet, and then decide for sure I wanted this direction. But in the past couple of weeks, I have had an increasing desire or pull to try working with a spirit. My sense of curiosity about what will happen once I do, had today been overwhelming. “Ask and it shall been granted,” has been a statement running through my head for a week now and I finally understand for sure it is not my own thought, but something trying to get my attention.

Firstly,my fear is that this is a very bad idea. I don’t mean I think working with spirits is a bad idea in itself. Having learned all I have so far I feel it’s the opposite is true. Many of you it seems have pretty good experience with it and find true benefit. no, I just mean its a bad idea for ME, at least now. I would feel like I was literally going from dipping my toes in, to padding in rapids. I know it feels like its way to fast, but still the feeling of needing to move in that direction is persistent. I have no idea who is actually is who is trying to get my attention. Who wants to be called on for help. I just know that someone clearly is. I’m not even sure yet how to figure that out. I realize I don;t know what I;m doing yet. I am out of my league yet it feels like I am being dragged in this direction anyways.

Now I know that might just sound ridiculous and maybe it is. But lately, my life seems to been falling apart to a point of needing to either take action or lose in a big way, and with no real action to take. Than then "ask and it shall be granted’ resounds in my head louder when I consider coming ruin. It almost feels as though I am being tested, pushed to see how far I will go, what it will take to make me cross that line and try. Do the spirits test us like that in the first place?

i am left to wonder though, should I really even considering working with one yet? If so then who? How can I start testing the waters with this in simple ways?

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In my opinion, we come to the study and practice of magick as adults somewhat brainwashed by the idea of measured progress, moving forwards at one grade/year and no faster, from the school system - even within higher education there’s a set time-limit on how fast you’re allowed to progress.

Any worthwhile endeavour of personal improvement and education, we’ve been shown for the most formative 16 - 20+ years of our lives, is about taking a steady pace, and not progressing until we’ve been marked as “pass or fail” by some external authority.

Then, the established systems of gurudom, priesthood, and so on all emphasise keeping you at a similar steady pace, that you MUST perform (for example) 200,000 repetitions of a simple task like a mantra, before you’ll be permitted to progress.

Some of this may have value, and it does help people build disclipline, but in my honest experience magickal ability doesn’t come in measured grades but in quantum leaps - huge ones, in fact.

Last week you couldn’t speak to spirits, this week you’re describing your frustrations to Hecate or Dhjuty or Odin, and they’re talking right back to you about how to turn those into triumphs - stuff like that. :slight_smile:

So if you FEEL ready (with a healthy dollop of caution and fear/excitement) to push forward, then IMO you are - there’s no-one outside yourself who can tick a box to mark your progress so far and then say you’re ready to attempt “the next level” - because another factor about magick is we each have unique strengths and weaknesses, and our own spiritual “court” of guides, ancestors, etc., and even our own unique inheritances, be they from past lives or genetic inheritance.

What’s wise and healthy for one person may be follish and destructive for another - this is where divination comes un, a lot of the time, and if you haven’t already considered it, please take a look at my tutorial for the Book Of Fate which beginners cane use to get answers on things - a link to the Book + how to adapt the questions is all included in that post.

I have no idea who is actually is who is trying to get my attention. Who wants to be called on for help. I just know that someone clearly is. I'm not even sure yet how to figure that out. I realize I don;t know what I;m doing yet. I am out of my league yet it feels like I am being dragged in this direction anyways.

That’s a good thing IMO!

Only people with stagnant lives have all their shit under control, and nothing new or challenging on the horizon. I’ve learned to really like that feeling, and even seek it out.

As to who to contact, one option is to take 10 - 15 minutes, maybe first thing in the morning and last before bed (but ANY time that actually fits your life is the ideal, because you want to be able to focus completely), and light a candle or something, set aside space where you won’t be disturbed, and ask them to reveal their name to you in a manner you can understand.

Spirits are remarkably good at this, at getting through to us, and you have to do your part by not writing things off as “coincidence” or using a destructive “analytical overlay” that tells you something should be different to what it truly is.

Once you have the name, maybe get a reading done, and/or do one yourself using one of the Questions suitable for that from the Book Of Fate.

It almost feels as though I am being tested, pushed to see how far I will go, what it will take to make me cross that line and try. Do the spirits test us like that in the first place?
Again just my experiences, but yes, sometimes they test us, [url=http://becomealivinggod.com/forum/love-spells/rosier-goetic-ritual/msg58517/#msg58517]this was my experience with Belial[/url] and that was a test, definitely!
i am left to wonder though, should I really even considering working with one yet?
We're taught to wait for permission on the big things in life - sensibly enough when as kids we want things that could hurt us or whatever, but consider the existence of this site and all the other occult-themed authors, forums, and so on that exist online right now as a BIG "Peremission Granted" that this stuff is FOR YOU, all these spirits and realms and powers my mind can't even comprehend, they're FOR US and each of us has his and her own wonderful journey to power and knowledge just waiting. :)

Sorry if I’m being brash and outspoken here but I’ve felt all of these same feelings, “Can I, should I?” etc., and the ONLY times I came to grief were when I stopped listening to my heart and let social and school-oriented programming take over.

Jump in, the water’s just fine. :wink:

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You’re so damned inspirational, Lady Eva, thank you for this post. It validates much of what I feel. I also love that feeling of fear/excitement, it’s like a hint that something bigger is coming. The last several weeks I’ve been feeling a pull towards water (elementally speaking), the moon, lunar deities, etc. All things dealing with the subconscious/inner senses. That’s one of the reasons I made a black mirror. Magick is amazing in so many ways.

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For me… #1; Darkness in some ways is a pretty accurate word, but carries what I think are misrepresentitive implications. Really, Dark is just a form of energy not readily seen. because we cannot easily see it, it becomes ‘scarey’, and if it scares us, or worst, may prove an obstruction to our goals, it must be evil. I like the term Current, it may be a smooth ride, or white water which may throw us into the drink, but that don’t make it ‘evil’, we need to learn how to negotiate and using our will, subdo the current to our purpose and intents. The only real evil isto climb ashore, and run like hell in fear. [sorta sorry for the univited soapboxing]

#2- Do they test us like that ? OHHHELLYEAH !! Fair warning, by dipping into this current, steel up and learn to be flexible— 'cuz in my opinion, it is testing far beyond what the so called RHP could or would ever give you. And you want that- because the gains will be astronomically more powerful and meaningful than ever conceived. For me, if i am not being tested to annoyance and insult— something ain’t right, and if and when i gain something- i usually find out by someone on this forum
The people here are the Gems in the Treasure Cave of my dreams.

#3- you may well have outgrown a spirit, and it is time to find another, luckily, there are thousands; and all of them are grown up enough to know when you have graduated what they have for you, you are expected to move on. OR, like has happened to me and i am still trying to figure it out- while very busy working with a Most Excellant Spirit , Demon King Belial, he brought in another for me to work with- Knowing my Talent for multitasking and not needing to finish one project before starting another [NOT!!!], I BET HE IS ENJOYING THE SHOW! I am.
one thing which may help is to maybe get ahold of a book i will pm to you which willhelp you see where certain spirits will work with you As Mentors, Read book of Azazel-excellant example. Some as patrons/matrons, you name to job, there is someone to help you with, so social organisation on your part will be your best talent to work on. but, don’t feel badly if you feel it is time to move, you do not have to chuck your former Friend in the dustbin and forget them, keep in otuch, with love and respect, and find what you need to work on next, maybe even ask them who might be best to help you.
When I landed here, I already had my list of who was going tobe in what job, and in what order I wasgoing to work. Well, happily though my former plan sounded nice, i feel quite happy now as my current list is completely differant. I never thought Belial would be where he is in my life- i wanted Abbadon- but he will be later, and that is ok.

Hope this helps and enjoy your trip!!! and Welcome!!

[quote=“Blazewind Bluebird, post:1, topic:5065”]I’m just going to type this out with blunt honesty, because I’ve been here long enough to see that that’s how to best type a post here. (A good thing IMO, not a bad one.)
I am still very new to the left handed path, (was at a slightly higher level of understanding and experience when trying to stay right handed, love and light path.) The darker side is still a strange exciting and uncharted new road, and I wanted to dip my toes in and start to get my feet yet, and then decide for sure I wanted this direction. But in the past couple of weeks, I have had an increasing desire or pull to try working with a spirit. My sense of curiosity about what will happen once I do, had today been overwhelming. “Ask and it shall been granted,” has been a statement running through my head for a week now and I finally understand for sure it is not my own thought, but something trying to get my attention.

Firstly,my fear is that this is a very bad idea. I don’t mean I think working with spirits is a bad idea in itself. Having learned all I have so far I feel it’s the opposite is true. Many of you it seems have pretty good experience with it and find true benefit. no, I just mean its a bad idea for ME, at least now. I would feel like I was literally going from dipping my toes in, to padding in rapids. I know it feels like its way to fast, but still the feeling of needing to move in that direction is persistent. I have no idea who is actually is who is trying to get my attention. Who wants to be called on for help. I just know that someone clearly is. I’m not even sure yet how to figure that out. I realize I don;t know what I;m doing yet. I am out of my league yet it feels like I am being dragged in this direction anyways.

Now I know that might just sound ridiculous and maybe it is. But lately, my life seems to been falling apart to a point of needing to either take action or lose in a big way, and with no real action to take. Than then "ask and it shall be granted’ resounds in my head louder when I consider coming ruin. It almost feels as though I am being tested, pushed to see how far I will go, what it will take to make me cross that line and try. Do the spirits test us like that in the first place?

i am left to wonder though, should I really even considering working with one yet? If so then who? How can I start testing the waters with this in simple ways? [/quote]

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i am left to wonder though, should I really even considering working with one yet? If so then who? How can I start testing the waters with this in simple ways?

One of the first things i did once i after the initial “supernoob” stage of having no idea about anything (still pretty noob in a lot of ways but hey, gotta start somewhere) was evoking Lucifer and starting to learn from him, so i’d agree with LadyEva and say dive right in, read around on various entities and pick one to start with.

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Thanks for the very helpful replies. I see now the need for and importance of simply jumping on in. I’m both disbelieving of the fact that I am actually going to take a big ste so soon but at the same time it’s quite an exciting prospect too. I’ve already begun trying to figure out who it is I will work with.

Wow. Okay now THAT is jumping right in. While I personally have no wish to go that far with it (though I guess never say never) still it makes the point about going for it. :slight_smile:

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I thought I should post again and update. I have trying hard to remain open to anything, to the idea of how it might be that wants to work with me, because it’s becoming clearer now than ever that someone certainly is calling to me to try. Life is becoming quite a ride now. I am seeing now for sure that once stepped out on, perhaps this path cannot truly be ignored again. My openness to learn so far has perhaps paid off in a way. I’m confidant the spirit trying to get my attention is Azazel.

Honestly I’m still inwardly shaking my head now about this, but it feels correct anyway. I would really like the thoughts of some members here on this one. I’m such a newbie. I’m in a bit of disbelief over the fact that my first “training spirit,” is meant to be a demonic king in command of armies. I have to say I do think he’d make a great teacher, but all the same… what? I suppose I just worry that this is still jumping too high too fast. Of course I’ve been looking up more info on this spirit, and that only serves to fuel my curiosity and almost build a connection. Of course there are mixed interpretations, but I gather that his main drive seems to be to empower mankind and does not fall into the true definition of evil or even bad. Strangely my feeling aside from the likely well justified intimidation of it, is that is in part a lesson in faith in self, in knowing something seems to far to hard to big, but going for it anyway to learn how much one can do.

I want to know for sure, would I pursue this further? Do I actually have the option by now? It’s exactly like Lady Eva said earlier in this thread. I feel an odd mix of fear/excitement. I’ve basically been left the last day or two now thinking “now I’ve done it.”

Opinions? Warnings? lol

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[quote=“Blazewind Bluebird, post:7, topic:5065”]My openness to learn so far has perhaps paid off in a way. I’m confidant the spirit trying to get my attention is Azazel.

Honestly I’m still inwardly shaking my head now about this, but it feels correct anyway. I would really like the thoughts of some members here on this one. I’m such a newbie. I’m in a bit of disbelief over the fact that my first “training spirit,” is meant to be a demonic king in command of armies.[/quote]
My Master-List of mistakes you can make in magick includes the following:

  1. assume that you’re too unimportant for any well-known god or spirit to want to personally engage with you;

  2. assume that if they do personally engage, it means you’re some hot shit more than anyone else, because you’ve imported flawed primate status ideas into a non-primate relationship.

The other guidelines on my list are mostly around not losing your shit when weird shit happens, keep good records, and try to poop once a day. :wink:

Strangely my feeling aside from the likely well justified intimidation of it, is that is in part a lesson in faith in self, in knowing something seems to far to hard to big, but going for it anyway to learn how much one can do.

You just about nailed it there IMO!

You know that saying, “There are two kinds of people: those who think they can, and those who think they can’t, and they’re both right”?

IMO that goes double for magick, espoecially having the guts to front up to some major spirit and demand they take you seriously. I’ve never yet, in the white-light or black magick world, heard of any spirit or even good teacher who encourages you to think you’re not worthy, even extremely RHP Hindu gurus bemoan the lack of core confidence that holds people back from committing.

Also, remember this is the Azazel who, said:

All things are formed from one primordial nothingness, not at some point in the distant past, but in each moment. Every moment that you consider me, I come into being. Every moment that you consider yourself, you are brought into existence.

Stop considering yourself, and you will cease to be. I have appeared to men as they have considered me. I taught them that which they were on the brink of learning them selves. I concatenated their realizations. I would say that I have always existed as this promethean Pandorian figure, be cause all time for me is present.

However, I have not existed at all until this moment. But neither have you. Where does this leave the idea of your objective reality? Reality is far from objective. Can you name a single thing that exists independent of your observation? Such a thing does not exist.

When you and I meet, you and I come into existence. Until that point, there is no you, there is no I. You exist only in your relation to that which surrounds you. Your very physical form is held together, as mine is in this smoke, by the pressure inside of your skin meeting the pressure outside of your skin, and both forces holding you in one piece.

This is a type and a shadow of the whole of existence. Only through the application of various forces of pressure does any thing exist. You have learned to master some of these pressure systems, and can apply them to summoning something forth from nothingness to speak to you. You ask if I am real? I am as real as the world around you, which is not real at all.

That’s from the Book Of Azazel, I don’t have it (and haven’t yet found time to listen to the audio, am a lazy ass!) but it’s laid out in this post and E.A. references it in a video, here.

I want to know for sure, would I pursue this further? Do I actually have the option by now? It's exactly like Lady Eva said earlier in this thread. I feel an odd mix of fear/excitement. I've basically been left the last day or two now thinking "now I've done it."

Opinions? Warnings? lol


I’d do, or get done, a reading at this stage, I’d use the Book Of Fate because that’s been most helpful in checking out both spirits and people, but any other method should be sufficient to give you a yes/no type of answer. :slight_smile:

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Really, you could just be hitting a low point in your life. I’ve never had a spirit wreck my life to teach me a lesson. Perhaps the better choice would be to evoke it, and ask it yourself what’s going on. I doubt your spirits want anything bad for you.

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You could also always have someone work with the spirit for you like an intermediary if you’re uncomfortable. I had a client who was having family troubles and wanted Dantalion evoked. I did it for him, but instead of outright giving command, Dantalion decided to take part in the guy’s life, showing up in dreams and meditations.Some times they just need to know you’re there and you care.

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[quote=“TieguaiLi, post:5, topic:5065”]

i am left to wonder though, should I really even considering working with one yet? If so then who? How can I start testing the waters with this in simple ways?

One of the first things i did once i after the initial “supernoob” stage of having no idea about anything (still pretty noob in a lot of ways but hey, gotta start somewhere) was evoking Lucifer and starting to learn from him, so i’d agree with LadyEva and say dive right in, read around on various entities and pick one to start with.[/quote]

Dive right into research yes but evoking the darker elements of the Qliphoth without the right understanding and protection is downright dangerous , Chaos Magick is serious business , the results , benefits and dangers are very real. I’ve been around the dark side of life, someone’s already conflicted about LH P or RHP in their magical life, diving in might not be good for their conscience in the long run.

Actually i felt the same at one point too till I read Galdrbok by Stephen Flowers, it will snap those religious and moral chains right off , which as someone pointed out to me, " you have to stop looking at things through the eyes of religion.