I’m just going to type this out with blunt honesty, because I’ve been here long enough to see that that’s how to best type a post here. (A good thing IMO, not a bad one.)
I am still very new to the left handed path, (was at a slightly higher level of understanding and experience when trying to stay right handed, love and light path.) The darker side is still a strange exciting and uncharted new road, and I wanted to dip my toes in and start to get my feet yet, and then decide for sure I wanted this direction. But in the past couple of weeks, I have had an increasing desire or pull to try working with a spirit. My sense of curiosity about what will happen once I do, had today been overwhelming. “Ask and it shall been granted,” has been a statement running through my head for a week now and I finally understand for sure it is not my own thought, but something trying to get my attention.
Firstly,my fear is that this is a very bad idea. I don’t mean I think working with spirits is a bad idea in itself. Having learned all I have so far I feel it’s the opposite is true. Many of you it seems have pretty good experience with it and find true benefit. no, I just mean its a bad idea for ME, at least now. I would feel like I was literally going from dipping my toes in, to padding in rapids. I know it feels like its way to fast, but still the feeling of needing to move in that direction is persistent. I have no idea who is actually is who is trying to get my attention. Who wants to be called on for help. I just know that someone clearly is. I’m not even sure yet how to figure that out. I realize I don;t know what I;m doing yet. I am out of my league yet it feels like I am being dragged in this direction anyways.
Now I know that might just sound ridiculous and maybe it is. But lately, my life seems to been falling apart to a point of needing to either take action or lose in a big way, and with no real action to take. Than then "ask and it shall be granted’ resounds in my head louder when I consider coming ruin. It almost feels as though I am being tested, pushed to see how far I will go, what it will take to make me cross that line and try. Do the spirits test us like that in the first place?
i am left to wonder though, should I really even considering working with one yet? If so then who? How can I start testing the waters with this in simple ways?