Day 50+ of going to church, oof

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
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Well, there’s really not much I can do about this. Back when I was younger, I successfully pretended I was sick. But now that I’m older and rarely get sick, that option is out of the bucket (also I think it’s rather childish at this point using that method). I just feel so uncomfortable saying those Christian prayers whenever the sermon starts. I tried to just move my mouth and look like I’m saying it, but at one point my parents noticed and well, didn’t go so well after the sermon was over. I just skip over saying “God” and “Jesus”. Instead just recite my prayer to Lucifer, all things go well. (except for the fact I have to be there for an hour and pretending I listened, I actually have too because my mom asks questions. god damn).

I guess this is just an update post of how things are going for me. As with college, I’m able to manage my time to study and finding the time to devote my time to Lucifer. While also maintaining 2 aquariums. While ALSO finding the time to visit this forum and look at the posts you guys are posting. Love learning from other people, and seeing others like me. If you can’t really tell already, I live in a very relious home and obviously I can’t be open with this at all. Friends? Pfft I ain’ risking telling them about my beliefs. The classic “Satan is bad, hurts everyone in sight” is what runs through their heads. Also, I would rather keep secret about it except for here. But latley I’ve been coming across people who are trying to make Satanism “not to look harmful”. Because normally people would associate it like satanism = hurting people, eating babies. (Legit that’s some of the things I heard from people.)

Do you guys ever come across a person somehow finding out you’re a Satanist and try to shove a bible on to your face? It happened to me once online. Too bad it was one of those “too extra” Christians and kept telling me I was going to burn in hell. Sure, I would love that. Lmao.

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When I was a teenager I literally had bibles thrown at me once. But being ever defiant I just double downed on my practice and drew more cliche “666”, Pentacles, etc… Over everything I owned. Caused quite a commotion in my christian household but my parents stopped arguing with me too much when i refuted every Bible quote they had with actual history and science.

Know your enemy’s playbook well and you can make them feel exceptionally stupid. Which is especially satisfying when it’s your own parents.

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I know exactly what you mean lol they’re NEVER prepared for actual historical research

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I can relate very much to this. my parents didn’t bother me too much about trying to skip church (my mother did, a little) but it does such that you’re old enough to be in college and still have to pretend. my father was more open-minded but he died years ago. my mother has finally relaxed a bit and doesn’t expect anything from me that I don’t want to do. she knows im pagan and she knows I do magic and just quit fighting it. plus I always got the SORRIEST boyfriends from church anyway so fk it. but over time they will back down. there are too many people these days who want to ask real questions and do real research and those people are growing in numbers and cannot be stifled.

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in fact, if anything, these days if I can bring myself to go to church, it would only be for the networking for my jewelry business, sure as hell not for the beliefs.

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