Recently I did a candle meditation where I would sit in my Universal Circle and put all my attention to the flame. As I was looking at the flame, all I could feel was chaos, darkness, nothingness(if that is a feeling) like I was in a void of pure nothingness and the only thing that was there was the flame of the candle. At first I felt positive about because it meant I had the potential to create light and life but now I am not sure anymore. I am not even sure why I wanted to do magick anymore. As I try to figure out what I want to do and start, I don’t know where so I just stay in that darkness. Unsure about everything, feeling nothing and something at the same time(like chaos). This is probably depression or it could be something else. Any advice or anyone who has experienced something like this before?
I can’t offer any advice but I’ve felt that feeling too, and i know it was a depressive state i was going through.
Out of curiosity have you attempted this again?
No not yet.
I would say it’s a good place to start, then you can evaluate if this was a one off or an experience your meant to explore.
Aye the void, no thing no one no body, noseparation, proceed…