So, I’ve posted a few topics here and probably should talk about my intentions that I need help with.
I’m a 53 year old guy, who in the past has had a lot of non-starter relationships. I’ve been very unlucky in love and turned to the ones who call themselves god/goddesses. They have never helped, the end result was always heartache and left me heartbroken. I felt the I was never worthy of gods help, when I called him/her I was subjected to torment rather than a pleasurable end result. The girls I fell in love with would often find they lost interest in me very quickly or mucked me around. I’ve often thought this was ‘gods’ intention and set me up to fail and look stupid as punishment.
I married out of convenience and as a result of a rebound from a girl who I was supposed to be engaged to.
I’ve been married for 30 years and though I kinda get along with my wife, the love I have for her is akin to loving a sister. This makes intimacy very difficult. If we go out and she holds my hand I very quickly find a reason not to do so for too long. It feels false to me and I do think she feels that from me too.
We’ve had our ups and downs but plodded on with our life together. We have an adorable teenage daughter whom I adore and would never hurt her in anyway.
This hasn’t stopped me from being attracted to other women and longed to have a relationship with them.
Each time I’ve turned to ‘god’ for help I’ve been left heartbroken and punished by him.
Selfishly, I need to love another woman, I have so much passion and romance to give. Holding HER hand would be awsome! Whilst I know I’d be cheating on my wife, I really would just for once like to experience such intimacy and true love. It’s not just about sex, it’s a feeling that I need to fulfill my desire that ‘god’ has denied me. It’s feeling like I’m whole and wanted by someone I can truly love they way I’ve so longed for.
I have strong feelings for this woman at work, there’s something about her that I tune into, we both think very much alike. She primarily wears black, has jet black hair and looks amazing. We have so much in common and compatibility that it’s almost like we we’re made for each other. I feel that this time it’s meant to be though I’m not totally sure how she feels about me as she’s a bit of a closed person. I feel she likes me but is holding back - maybe? I pray to father - Satan, that this time I’ll be able to fulfill my desire and that he will help me and not let me down.
What should I do to make her have feelings for me? I want her to have a crush on me and take things further beyond freindship. I’m a bit of a shy guy and very gentleman like. If she was flirting with me I’d probably dismiss it and she’d prabably think in not interested in her. After all I’m not very experienced in this given my track record.
Who is best to summon for this to happen? I don’t want her to put her in any danger so would like help and advise to ensure I’m doing things correctly.
I’m hoping for a speedy (romantic) outcome.
Thank you for the taking time in reading my woeful situation.