Laying on my carpet listening to my drumming track, I cleared my chakras like normal. I generally polish them too, so they are extra shiny and spinny. Start with the basic seven, then the other 5, then a few bonus chakras. I was thinking some rather sad thoughts before this, so I wanted to clear them out and converse with Belial. Visualizing his sigil, I recited his Enn until I felt the presence. Normally (lately), I have this coal black angel-like person emanate from my chakras; glossy black feathery wings, black hair, red fingernails/talons. Very lovely and potentially vicious. We generally go to these cliffs I know well and fly off on bizarre adventures (like visiting my miscarried child’s soul, and other therapy shit).
However, this time, she seemed to ooze from each major chakra and some minor ones in a slow dense pour and coalesce above me. Spreading her wings, she changed into a massive serpentine thing, still glossy black, but covered in sharp spines and scales. Passing through me over and over it was pure sorrow and despair, a kind of tearing sensation. Vaguely, I sensed my eyes welling up and spilling over, then I realized she was showing me very powerful cords connecting me to the person I had been contemplating earlier. She showed me that my energy was sapped through the connection, but I could also alter it to drain enery into me, that I could filter it and use it to heal myself. Very cool. The drawback is that for some reason, soon, she informed me that “every cord must be severed” and doing that will cause death. But, that she would be with me through it.
Of course, I immediately did a tarot reading after she melded disturbingly back into me and it corroborated her points. So it really is a wonderful opportunity that must emerge from a tragedy. Now, I am very curious to see what the next few weeks and months will bring.
Anywho, when I stepped back into reality, I was focused, energized, and could still sense the connection. So now, I can drain energy, and very complexly filter and use it. Very helpful for someone on the fibromyalgia train. All of the rage, despair, and sadness I have regarding this person, I was able to transfer to the connection as well, so I don’t have it eating at me anymore. So, now this person is exhausted and coming down with a hideous cold, and continues to pile on the work and will not rest. I’ve never seen such a beaten look.
I’m very grateful to Belial for these random, unexpected visions. In hindsight, they should be terrifying, but they’re always comforting and overwhelmingly painful. These purely symbolic conversations are my favorite, it’s frustrating putting them into words that never seem fully precise and accurate. But hey, I tried.