Could really use some guidance please. I'm new here

Three years ago my life turned upside down. I didn’t ask to go down this road. I’m really not complaing, just processing. I lost it all. Everything. I feel like the “box” the world handed me in life, that I held on to with all my strength, was ripped outta my hands…and something pushed me over the edge. Doors I never dreamed of existing seemed to start opening up in spite of my belief system. January 2018, till June 2nd 2019 was litteraly HELL. In a real sense. A state of mind, I’m told, I created if you will. I have had MANY spiritual experiences over these past few years that I cant explain!!! I’ve always been spiritually sensitive so to speak… My belief system has been challenged and TORN apart!!!

Here are just a few Examples…last year sometime, I just knew I wasn’t alone, I could feel it…I asked who was there with me. I was isolated in a room by myself… I heard a female voice say Lilith…I really heard her!!! Abaddon is a name that came to me outta nowhere…never new about or heard that name in my life anywhere…Beelzebub is another name that came to my mind one day last year and I became obsessed with him…that lead me here, in August 2019. I have looked into the things, and the Names, I’ve been given, on this site, and I find out I’m not crazy. Its all REAL, and seemingly nothing like I was ever programmed and taught to believe!!! Its been months since I’ve been on this site…because I knew I was going to hell, just for going through what I went through…looking into it all, and for being curious. Contempt prior to investigation So to speak. So I backed off. Decided to leave it alone. It was all too much.

Last week I felt drawn to come back…by Lucifer…I believe. I know it was Him!!! I dont know how I know that, but I just do. I had a breif moment of deep communication with him…(not sure how I know that…but I DO). He in turn impressed upon me the name Azazel. Never heard that name in my life…I look into it on here…and He’s real!!! I’m low key freaking out, but feel a deep sense of some sort of spiritual awakening taking place…also, a deeper sense of what the Truth really is…(or I’m being manipulated and fucked with)

I spent my whole life believing I lived in the “Truth”, and thinking I knew the “Truth”?!?! I feel like I’m being turned inside out…or right side in…if that makes sense. I dont know what to do. I don’t know where to start. I’m afraid. Terrified at times. I don’t wanna go down this road the wrong way. I can really see how ignorant and arrogant I have been my whole life. All I want is the fucking truth. Good, bad or indifferent (and that scares me too).

This has been my journey to you all over the past two years in a nutshell. What do I do? Am I screwed? Am I wrong? How can someone like me belong? How do I move forward? Why choose me…like REALLY…WHY?


So what is it exactly you are looking for?

Did you come here to learn how to contact them to ask these questions?

So Is it really all that bad that they want to chat? You need to ask yourself. Do you wanna take that red pill and go back to a happy go lucky life. Or do you want to take the blue pill and learn some hidden truths?

You may find that what you are looking for was completely misunderstood by you orignally.


Its all real buddy your not krazy dont be scared they are good especially if they are coming to you. Happy hunting :first_quarter_moon_with_face::spider::last_quarter_moon_with_face:


It’s interesting how you use the 222 on your username. This number means something totally related to what you’re saying, being coincidence or not.

I believe you’re being called, pal. Don’t be scared and you’re not broken, you’re just like one of us. Seek Lilith, she will help you put your pieces together. The same happened to me, believe that, and now I’m much better!


I guess I would say I’m looking for answers and direction…like who to reach out to first…How to make legitimate contact…

I’ve been doing my research. I’m working on meditation. Learning what it means to evoke. I’m asking and seeking direction from the names ive been given. So far it seems to be unfolding the way its supposed to and I’m being guided to where I’m gonna get answers…I just feel so inferior and lost at times.


Just like @truewerewolf said, seek Lilith she will help you put the pieces together. Feeling lost is really a good thing, it may mean that they(Spirit friends/Deamons/Universe) are working behind the scenes on your answers, because you’re enthusiastic and want to know straight away you may be blocking it from coming through.
Sometimes when i need answers, i will ask a question to the Universe, if i think i have the answer i will say to the universe " Universe, is this… what i am thinking or being led to, correct? Please show me in a manner that i can understand, Thank You". I’ll ask them to show me a Pink butterfly or purple elephant, something that i would never see in real life, then let it go expecting an answer soon and forget about it, try and make yourself busy so you don’t block the answers thinking and waiting for it.
When i’ve asked such questions, sure enough i would see either a drawing of Pink butterfly from a child, or hear Pink Butterfly from someone.
One day i asked the universe 2x questions, i told the universe to show me 2x yes and/or no answers in a manner that i can understand and said Thank You, i let it go, forgot about it, then 4 days later i was driving from the airport and a car jumped in front of me, i had to put the brakes on quickly, whilst waiting for the lights to turn green i looked at the number plate of the car that pushed in front of me and it read “2x YES” !!! I doubled looked and it really read 2xYES!! The lights turned green and i followed behind it, as i was indicating to the left the car in front of me also indicated same direction, we were in a lane where it merged to the right lane, i looked to my right lane watching for any approaching cars so i can also merge and when i looked ahead as i merged, the car with the number plates 2xYES was nowhere to be seen, there weren’t many vehicles on the road as it was after 3am but as i drove along the Highway i did not see that car again! My partner whom i picked up from the airport also seen the same and we couldn’t believe it just disappeared, well, it went somewhere but we did not see where it could’ve gone and it didn’t exit off anywhere as it had nowhere to exit at this stage. But i got my answer i asked for.
It sounds like you have the gift of sensing, intuitive, ask and you’ll get the answer, go with your instinct and if you want to know you’re on the right track or thoughts just ask, say Thank you and let it go. Saying Thank you in advance ensures the universe/daemon/deity your gratefulness. Hope this helps.


So you’re going through what most of us that are raised christian go through. You’re entire view on the world gets flipped upside down. Life becomes chaos as you start to question everything. But from all those questions comes explosive growth. Meditation is definitly something you should work on. If you use the forum search feature you will find a treasure trove of evocation methods. If you are hearing voices it probably means they are already with you and evocation is not required. Now this is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt, but I would guess you just need to give yourself over to this and stop hesitating. If you want to know who these demons really are and if they arent as bad as you’ve been told ( guessing that’s your true fear) just ask them. They already want to talk to you. You just need to honestly listen. A word of advice. These are ancient beings and deserve to be treated as such. Go to them with respect and honest intentions. And wait for your mind to be blown. Just reach out man. You got this.