Corruption Of Body From TOO MUCH Necromancy?

Magick Vampirism & Necromancy
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[WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH ABOUT BLOOD]
For some number of years now, I have had a lingering concern whispering in the back of my mind, “is it possible that practicing Necromancy too much could negatively effect my mind or my physical health?”. In terms of mental health, I sometimes wonder if embracing the darkness too much can make someone turn “evil”, but morality and what “good” and “evil” are is such a complex topic with innumerable different perspectives, so that’s not what I want to discuss in this post. Suffice to say, as long as one doesn’t deliberately use their Magick to hurt innocent people, that’s “good” enough for me.

Now onto what I actually want to talk about… For context, this comes after I had spent four and a half days in the hospital, after a prior medical procedure which inadvertently triggered a highly traumatic and catastrophic bleeding event. I do not exaggerate when I say that I lost so much blood that I was a hair’s breadth away from completely blacking out and dying. My vision rapidly blurred until it went completely black, I could feel that my eyes were open, but I still couldn’t see. I also became extremely dizzy and couldn’t walk straight and felt so weak that I had to desperately try to support myself by holding on to every surface I could grab. Ultimately I collapsed to the ground after an objectively horrifying amount of putrid dark red (almost black) blood gushed out from a certain part of my body that will remain unnamed. Although I don’t believe I ever fully lost consciousness, I was utterly blind and all but deaf at this point as well, and I sat there ready to accept what felt like the inevitable embrace of death. Luckily my parents woke up and found me just in time to call an ambulance. While in the hospital I was visited by my personal doctor who performed that prior procedure on me, and she said that the results she found were the worst she had ever seen in her career, and that she was very surprised that I had appeared asymptomatic for such a long time, because what was going on inside me must have been progressing for at least several months in order to get to the point that it did.

So despite the fact that until recently I had been feeling fine, this insidious illness has been silently ravaging my body for a long time and I was unable to perceive it. (Clearly I have a flair for the dramatic in my description, if you really want to know what illness I have or genuinely care, it’s Crohn’s disease, but still, it’s a chronic condition that is very obviously fatal if untreated, so it’s actually a lot more serious than most people might think.)

I’m rambling again as I usually do, though to be fair, recalling all this trauma so soon after it just happened has also scrambled my thoughts a bit. My point is, I believe I have all the confirmation I need that focusing almost exclusively on Necromancy is objectively bad for my health. After all, I’m a living being that’s channeling the pure unfiltered essence of Death itself, that’s like walking directly into the irradiated remains of the Chernobyl reactor. After spending that time in the hospital for some deep existential contemplation, I’ve decided that I need to “get back to my roots” again in terms of how I practice Magick. When I first got into the Occult, I identified as a “Wiccan”, and focused primarily on honing my union with Nature. While I am no longer interested in labeling myself in that particular way, something that one quickly learns when working with the natural world is that it is all about maintaining balance. So my conclusion is that I shouldn’t completely abandon my natural affinity for Necromancy, as life and death are a fundamental cycle of Nature, but in order to help myself heal and recover from that previously mentioned recent incident, and from my illness in general, I must completely overhaul my identity as an Occultist and return to my union with Nature where it all started. There I can focus on maintaining a proper balance of Life and Death energies in order to cleanse myself.
(Also obviously I’m going to be following up with my doctor and seeking out new stronger medical treatments to keep my disease under control. I’ve never been on “biologics” before, but my doctor wants me to start taking Entyvio as soon as possible. I really hope it goes well for me and I don’t get any of those really scary side-effects.)

So now that I’ve shared my story, I’d love to know if anyone else here has experienced something like this. What do you all think of the idea that Necromancy can come with serious health risks? I’ve already started seeing some posts about it. I also do wonder if coming this close to death has actually made my power stronger, though right now it still feels too early to tell.

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The idea of “death energy” is a very modern school of thought. You never see this in older books on the subject. Where did the idea come from? I have my suspicions. So modern sorcerers work with this “death energy” and they expect it to possess certain attributes such as decay, corruption, or whatever. And it fulfills that expectation. So what do you think happens when you fill your meatsuit with that stuff? It will do whatever your genuine emotional expectation dictates.

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I have actually always shared this wonder. I came extremely close to death in a bad car accident when I was a teenager. I had already discovered spirituality and the occult but things seemed to get stronger after I recovered.

However the logical explanation for this is that I was getting older and becoming an adult and therefore my drive to practice magick and spend hours reading and learning about it was more than when I was a young teenager.

So, I tend to believe that a more mature outlook as opposed to a very near brush with death led me to improve in my magick. Depending on how old you were when this terrible incident happened to you, the same could be true for you.

Maybe concentrate on some healing and grounding magick for a while and see if this helps to improve your health and mindset.

I really do wish you the best on your road to recovery and hope that your health improves.

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@Faustus Actually that’s interesting that it doesn’t show up in older texts, I didn’t know that. I kind of just casually used the word without thinking about it. A friend of mine who’s also into the Occult said that death should have no “energy” to it, and I had also considered the possibilities that when I sense that “energy”, it’s actually a particular lack of energy or something that leeches life energy instead of producing it’s own. Like how literal physical darkness is just the lack of physical light, and/or how a black hole “sucks in” light and anything else that gets near it.
The point is if I am near a skull, a bone, or any other object that is closely associated with Death, or if I pick it up and/or touch it, I feel a particular sensation on both a physical and spiritual level. I assumed feelings like these were what we typically call “auras” or “energy”. I also get feelings in a similar way for all sorts of other things that have nothing to do with death but still “give off auras/energy” as I understand it, though obviously each of these feelings feels different.

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@AureliaMencargianis Thank you for your kind words. ^-^
I can say that from a young age I never really had a fear of death, as I have always had an unshakable belief in SOME kind of blissful afterlife. Though I don’t know if that counts as being “mature” about it. I can also say that I find the idea of losing friends and family to death extremely upsetting, especially since I’ve already lost two of my past lovers at very young ages already. They were 18 and 21 respectively.
My brush with death that I described above happened about a week ago, I am 24 years old. That’s probably too young to be “mature” about anything for some people, but my parents are a bit older than average for someone my age, and I’ve spent a lot of time with their friends who are all generally around 60+, so I’ve been told I seem pretty “mature” or sometimes that I have “an old soul”.
A few years ago when I was a junior or senior in college I had another brush with Death when I had intended to commit suicide because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to live up to the expectations of my professors, my family, and society at large, (in my mind failure in academia meant an inevitable complete failure at life, being a disgrace to my family and ending up homeless or stuck in a shitty job with no respect. Looking back now I can almost laugh at how ridiculous it sounds.) but my best friend saved me at the last moment and ultimately I did feel stronger with Magick after that incident. I like to think I’m one of those people that can legitimately say “Death and I are old friends”. Haha.

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Well as always i ask peopls i knw in forums, its a few books in spanish were some authors mention tat, like 70s books so here a great researcher from spain was choice to be in a secret society bcse he was a nice person neutral etc. He was not magician. He was introduced to the elite from london, yes elite and was in a home 4 days. Seeing stuff, reading old books etc and taking notes. Then he was show a necromancy ritual of a great philosopher from Greek. He was watching tat experience left him yired fpr days.

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His energy was down he feel tired evento move. S poo me witches say it willtake energy. Vitali and a year from u life. And a good stink of something for days. Some modern orders work whit it. No names but its famouse order, even a lulu guy by william who has vampire, or larvaes book. Kind of hidde tat necromancy may take years of life or make u olderfast.

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Its a book by howard vernon in daemonic drems which work in graves, more safe. In tis week tryng to get a pdf of necromancy practice and modern from a good magician. But still in contact .mind its so expensive and take a few weeks to getit here. Which the guy say 3 necromancy rites for almost anything fast amd safe. I will updated