Hello Everyone,
I been lurking for few weeks and finally decided to make a post. I have a great pull towards sex work, specifically becoming an escort of powerful men. I am not interested in online work, as I find is way too draining. But in person experiences. In my early twenties I dipped my toes on two occasions and I felt alive and extremely guilty, so I stopped. Ever since I have been suppressing this side of me. I have tried prayer, grounding work, even got baptized. But the pull is still there. I am now 30 years old. I know by this age many escorts are already on their way out for the most part. Also, since me suppressing it for so long, my mind gets into these extra elaborate day dream state with me traveling all over the world, meeting the most powerful men and they lusting over me. I am well aware that it’s not all glamour and it can take a great toll on your mental health, especially when clients stop coming, you feel useless. I follow some reddit subs dedicated to sex worker and escort.
Another part of the reason that I live with family, two elderly parents, brother and his wife. We are of Indian culture living in North America for past couple of decades. So there is shame aspect as well.
And finally, I am a guy, who also have a very discreet crossdressing persona. I imagine the sex work when I am dressed up. I have a hidden Instagram account with almost two thousand followers and get great interactions with horny men all over the world. I never made it transactional though. I have made dummy posts few months ago at a escort website and got great response. I never followed through.
When ever I get the strong pull on acting on my urges, I say affirmations to myself that I am not a sex worker etc. I have a corporate Job and I am almost designated. But part of me want to start escorting, travel the world even on part time basis. It gets draining denying part of myself. I go on cleanses. May be this is my test in this life to get salvation at the end?
No offense, but you are migrants, even in some generation. What can you be ashamed of living in the USA? This is a country where things like homosexuality, transgenderness or specific jobs are not condemned by most people in society. I mean that your relatives should understand this or understand in the future, or simply be more tolerant and not condemn you or anyone else, because they are still part of this society, you are not in India. So it may not be worthwhile to advertise it strongly, but you should not be afraid of condemnation. In addition, if you can really make money on an escort, then it’s even good, because you can fully devote yourself to this, it’s more interesting than working in an office. But if you do not have a lot of free time for lustful uncles, then do it on weekends or during free hours. Also, I’m wondering, have you thought about starting MtF therapy?
Try dating sites that connect “sugar babies” to guys willing to pay, called “sugar daddies”.
Try it… the reality is sordid and demeaning, you may find it gets old quick. The kicker is, any rich and powerful man can get beautiful women for free. A semi rich and slightly powerful man that is ugly with a shitty personality is looking to pay. If you’re happy to shag people you are sexually repulsed by, you’re good.
I had a friend that considered this, and never even met anyone because from they get-go they will talk down to you, and obviously have no appreciation of you other than as a commodity. You will also be expected to dress they way they want and look good as arm candy at very boring events.
No. There’s no such thing. You might want to talk through your motives with a therapist first. Preferably before you get yourself a bad time.
I think it’s not what you imagine it to be, Mainly because a rich duge that can’t get his own lady free sucks a bag of dicks, might be abusive, and you’ll have to deal with the consequences.
Thank you for the reply. As far as my gender dysmorphia is concerned, I am quite happy with where I am. I do no want to go further toward femininie. I enjoy the perks of being male as well. And also enjoy being girly when I want to.
Hey, glad I found your post. I am a sex worker and escorted a few years myself if you ever need anyone to sympathize with feel free to message me. For the past 5 years I’ve been in the industry and I can say it’s been as rewarding as it has heartbreaking. It takes touch skin and the ability to say no and stand up for yourself.
Also it changes you, even ever so slightly I started seeing myself needing the validation from outside myself just by being surrounded by that Kind of energy and I didn’t want to lose the superpower of self worth and self efficient value.
But your not alone on this forum and there’s others just like you
