A hard pill to swallow: sometimes personal reasons are more important than a person that we’d like to keep.
Reading your first entries, you talked very negatively about yourself. As if you wouldn’t be enough on your own, as yourself. It is in your rights to try your best to get her back again, of course. But in all honesty: you don’t need her or anybody to be enough on your own.
Maybe one of the most valuable lessons that magick can bring is to discover your own worth, the richness and the potential of your very self and your place in this world.
No matter how you decide, don’t give up. Apparently you are able to do some amazing things, why throwing it away?
If you want to erase that feeling (or rather, that assumption) you could try LadyEvas famous whiteboarding magic 