Communication - The Importance Of Physical Energies


#1

Bodylanguage, in the human world, takes around 70% of how we communicate with eachother. When we communicate with our spirits, the most common way to go, isn’t the physical energies. Instead we’re talk about the visual and the audible. To see and to hear. In my world, that’s very limiting. You use either 15-30% of your actual capabilities when just using these abilities. I’m not saying that it’s a bad ability to hear or to see the spirits, but to rely on it entirely does not improve the communicative aspect in any form of relationship. In the long run, visual and audible communication have the fallacy of getting shallow over time. But if these two common ways of communications co-operate with the physical energies, it will give a more solid ground to interpret the messages we receive from the spirits.

With the ability to feel and sense energies and it’s different manifestations, you can learn much more from it, than with the ability to hear and see. And it is just a valid source for communication like the other two, with the biggest difference that it has much more layers to it.

With the physical energy, you can learn how to:

  • Physically interact with a spirit

  • Interpret the bodylanguage of a spirit

  • Share consciousness, emotional communication

  • Astral travel with physical awareness while being fully conscious and awake

  • Experience “visual imprints” of the physical energy/manifestation

  • Feel and sense gifts from the spirits

  • Be connected to any form of manifestation from the spirits, including dark and divine currents of their energies

  • Understand the mechanics and functionality of energies

If you are connected to their energies, you are a more active part of the spirit world, much more than if you just are able to hear or see them.


#2

Totally agree. The reason I try to teach people about the more physical forms of communication (sight and sound) is because I believe newer magicians need to learn how to push past those first few obstacles in order to develop their senses better so they can start picking up on these other forms of communication much easier and will be less likely to dismiss those other forms of communication as their thoughts running wild, because seeing and hearing a spirit can be tough but going thru those first few major challenges can really open up your mind to a whole new level of possibilities.

And sometimes it’s easier to trust that what you feel or sense is actually coming from the spirit when you’ve already spent a few months with that spirit getting to know them, seeing them and hearing them, it’s so much easier to know who you are connecting with when the more subtle or thought based forms of communication arise. When you know what the spirit looks like (their most common forms of manifestation) and what they sound like you can start to form associations with the energies you feel.

If a sudden sense of stern reaffirmation and a few words pop into your mind and you are certain this is not your words or part of your current mood, if you know that spirit A is usually very stern and would normally say the very words you are thinking of, it’s easier to connect the two and know, oh this is not me, this is spirit A talking to me. And of course, later on, when you can also sense that spirits particular level and aura of energy it becomes easier to feel the energy around you and just know, yep, this is without a doubt spirit A trying to communicate with me.

So yes, there are many many forms of communication but the people I coach and mentor have always found it easiest to start by learning the hardest forms of communication first because it pushes them to a new level much faster, whereas most of us already sense and feel the spirit’s energy before we even begin to try to hear or see them, but, without a face, a voice, and manneurisms to match these energies to it becomes much harder for the new magician to trust themselves. Was that me or something else? I don’t think that was me but how can I be certain? And they tend to go into hyperactive worry wart mode, turning to more advanced magicians to do divination and contact the spirit for them to confirm if what they picked up on was really the spirit.

I believe all of us are born with these abilities to sense and feel spirits already activated and in use but as we grow older and learn to communicate with our parents and peers verbally and thru body language, we begin to be reprogrammed not to trust our intuition and to dismiss it as mere coincidence or luck of the draw when our intuition turns out to be right.

Or as an atheist would say
Quote: "That’s not intuition your brain has just learned from it’s previous mistakes so of course when you think of doing certain things your brain is going to give you that bad gut feeling of “don’t do that” but that’s not a psychic gift it’s just your common sense kicking in.

So most of us lose our intuitive abilities all together expect for the minor abilities that are hardwired into our brains as part of our primal defense mechanisms (like knowing not to touch something that looks too pointy because chances are, it’s sharp and it will hurt like hell) but the more subtle intuitive gifts that we possess, including the ability to communicate with spirits and suddenly know imformation that we are certain we have never studied or heard before, those become buried and must be retrained in order to resurface. This can take years and years of practice but if you start out by using more difficult training tactics you can experience a break through much sooner than anticipated.


#3

The only problem I see with this is the fact that, because people are conditioned to prioritize the visual and audible senses, the spiritual work that people do will always be in the doubt phase until they can see and hear what they are interacting with. Moreover, because of that inclination, those spiritual interactions will, at the end of the day, stay in the “spirit” world. To actually ground the interaction within this physical world, people usually tend to need something that actually cues them into accepting that this thing is holistically real. This can be something with an objectified manifestation like a humanoid or bestial spirit, or something more formless like chi. However, with that said, when kept in a form of feeling, it is really easy to attribute that to something that is not completely “real” like Raven is saying.

It is really easy to attribute energetic feeling to something physiological, for instance. It’s even easier if, for example, you are a person who has experience having to have bodily awareness in the first place. Since people are used to having communication be primarily based on visual and audio cues, it’s pretty damn hard to have any certain idea what the hell an entity is even trying to communicate to you. What the hell does spinal flux, ear tingle, or head pressure mean?

As such, there is a great possibility that the magician is having to “fool” themselves into believing their interpretations of the communication, or of just winging it and feeling pretty uncertain what’s going on. Now if a person’s inclination is to let spiritual matters do what they want, or to invest their time in events that are purely ethereal, this might not be a problem. But if the magician is desiring to have control over their interactions, and to ground that experience into something that is equally as real as their interaction in this world, then pure feeling is not going to work for a great deal of practitioners.

It’s personally why I never recommend working with entities as the first step, but rather something that comes after acquiring basic skills. That way, the practitioner can ride momentum so that doesn’t foster constrictive emotions like frustration, impatience, and anxiety due to lack of complete manifestation.

I also don’t feel that the senses of sight and sound are in any way inherently more limiting than feeling. In fact, I don’t see how a person can get audio or visual experience with entities without having equal, if not superior ability for sensing entities and energies. I never once considered my visual and audio interaction with entities shallow, because I never had them without feeling integrated. Again, this might be me due to my health issues causing me to have to have the bodily awareness that is conducive to “spiritual” feeling. But feeling is pretty damn shallow when an individual doesn’t possess a sensing “vocabulary” so to speak that allows them to even communicate at all. To gain that vocabulary would involve translating it into the vocabulary that the practitioner normally communicates with, which is audible. Like Raven says, that can take years and is something that was at least such a pain in the ass that it forced me to try a completely different approach to magick altogether. I’m thankful that the approach I got is far better than what I had before, but man, what I had before was annoying and unrewarding as all balls.


#4

Sure, the audible and the visual senses gives quite a lot of information, like distinctive tones of an emotional state, and visual expressions. But you couldn’t expand it’s capabilities as much as you can with the ability to sense and feel. This is my strongest sense, and I’ve learned a lot through that. I also know the differences of the other two senses, even if it’s not as strong, but the experiences is enough to know it’s strength and weaknesses.

It takes years to master the ability to sense and feel, too, just as with the ability to see and hear. The most common stage of the sense ability is the “shared consciousness, emotional communication”. A very common ability with those who are into the “succubus experience”. There is this little community about “succubus/incubus” out there, people that share their experiences with others. It gives a solid ground of research to find differences and similarities of what we’ve shared over the years. The ability to sense is not as common as you would think, in this community. It’s rare and seldom on a full physical manifestation, as I’ve experienced it. Of all the bloggers out there, the senses they have learnt is a fraction, small pieces of either ability and few have fully developed their strongest sense.

Working with energies isn’t all about the physical manifestations. It comes with layers that’s adaptable to pretty much everything, from communication to visualization, astral travel, emotions, different currents of energies.

We rarely dig deep to understand our abilities and what we actually can achieve with these abilities, and that’s very unfortunate. And we rarely try to explain it, when we reached high enough to talk about it. I’ve always wondered why, or is it just too hard to put things to words?


#5

Sure, the audible and the visual senses gives quite a lot of information, like distinctive tones of an emotional state, and visual expressions. But you couldn’t expand it’s capabilities as much as you can with the ability to sense and feel. This is my strongest sense, and I’ve learned a lot through that. I also know the differences of the other two senses, even if it’s not as strong, but the experiences is enough to know it’s strength and weaknesses.

It takes years to master the ability to sense and feel, too, just as with the ability to see and hear. The most common stage of the sense ability is the “shared consciousness, emotional communication”. A very common ability with those who are into the “succubus experience”. There is this little community about “succubus/incubus” out there, people that share their experiences with others. It gives a solid ground of research to find differences and similarities of what we’ve shared over the years. The ability to sense is not as common as you would think, in this community. It’s rare and seldom on a full physical manifestation, as I’ve experienced it. Of all the bloggers out there, the senses they have learnt is a fraction, small pieces of either ability and few have fully developed their strongest sense.

Working with energies isn’t all about the physical manifestations. It comes with layers that’s adaptable to pretty much everything, from communication to visualization, astral travel, emotions, different currents of energies.

We rarely dig deep to understand our abilities and what we actually can achieve with these abilities, and that’s very unfortunate. And we rarely try to explain it, when we reached high enough to talk about it. I’ve always wondered why, or is it just too hard to put things to words?[/quote]

Well, When it comes to ME, I would just have to disagree with the idea that certain sense cannot be expanded to the depth of others. All the qualities you mentioned that you placed within the power of the sense of feeling have been equally present for me with not only sight and sound, but also the olfactory senses of taste and smell. I mean, in the spiritual practices, there is a tendency to completely ignore the latter two, and in my experience this is absolutely foolish. Despite what may be commonly used, the sense of smell is actually the strongest sense tied to memory.

I am quite well acquainted with the succcubus community, and if any of my older posts are around under the name “the1gza” or “Metatron”, you’ll see that this was something that was a huge initial focus of mine. I don’t know what it is like now, but from my experience the sense of touch was the overwhelming favorite over sight and sound. I went around asking people continuously what they experienced in terms of visual and audio manifestation, and I universally got nothing substantial in terms of manifesting that experience. Even in Donald Tyson’s “Sexual Alchemy”, which is one of, if not the foremost piece of literature on the matter, he focused primarily on feeling with no clear indication on how to engender the visual and audio experience, let alone smell and taste.

Another thing to also point out is that many people in the succubus community heavily lack beginner’s basics. One of the key focuses in beginner’s basics is working with energy, and at least 90% of all the preliminary techniques that I am aware of focus on engendering the sense of feeling first. Whether it is a breathing technique, body movement, or meditation, the ability to feel energy takes so much precedence that the other sense are rarely even mentioned in a beginner sense. I’m not talking about visualization here, where you have to “make up” the images that you see. I’m talking about something that is objectified as having “independent” form, and I have yet to find that experience coming before the sense of feeling.

As for the applications beyond physical manifestation… I think there is misunderstanding here of what I mean by that. I find no practical use for a skill or experience that does not have universal application in all facets of life. Astral projection may be a decent skill to have, but if astral projection doesn’t lend itself to being a tool that serves any real empowering purpose, then it’s as useful as marathoning episodes of television programs on Netflix. I have no reason to astral project if I am not expanding a skill, knowledge form, or power ability that I can take with me into my physical experience. In fact, astral projection for me is not a “spiritual” thing; it holds just as much substantial credence as Earthly experience does. The same goes for visualization, energy mastery… whatever it is I am holding it to having the same substantial priority as what I hold normal Earthly experience to.

So that might be where things are a bit hard to communicate, because I don’t isolate experience in primordial work like that. It’s one of the reasons I stopped working with normal practices and went into hypnosis; I wanted to give what I was doing the same sense of substance that I did the experience of common Earthly matters. Not saying that traditional practices can’t do that, but for me it was hard to honestly maintain motivation with something that was clearly not registering as being as substantial and pronounced as my default reality was. You’re talking to a guy who’s default sense was feeling; I’ve mentioned that a bit due to my past of chronic illness. Still, with what I do now I could not advocate the idea that one sense is somehow more expansive than another, at least inherently. But again, this is coming from a person who has approached things in a manner that engenders manifestations that are quite a bit different than traditional practice approaches allow for most people.


#6

Yet, there’s a big lack of putting these senses out there, and explain it’s capabilities. Don’t you find it odd that if it is so common, why is it kept in the shadows and why isn’t it explained thoroughly? That goes for all the abilities out there. We know it exist, but rarely explains how it work and what we can accomplish with it.

I am quite well acquainted with the succcubus community, and if any of my older posts are around under the name "the1gza" or "Metatron", you'll see that this was something that was a huge initial focus of mine. I don't know what it is like now, but from my experience the sense of touch was the overwhelming favorite over sight and sound. I went around asking people continuously what they experienced in terms of visual and audio manifestation, and I universally got nothing substantial in terms of manifesting that experience. Even in Donald Tyson's "Sexual Alchemy", which is one of, if not the foremost piece of literature on the matter, he focused primarily on feeling with no clear indication on how to engender the visual and audio experience, let alone smell and taste.

Can you define “substantial”, because I’ve experienced manifestations on different occasions and in different forms. Visually of course. It can only be substantial if you were physically present next to someone else at that exact moment the manifestation occurs. Otherwise it’s ungraspable, even if you asked someone after that particular experience.

Another thing to also point out is that many people in the succubus community heavily lack beginner's basics. One of the key focuses in beginner's basics is working with energy, and at least 90% of all the preliminary techniques that I am aware of focus on engendering the sense of feeling first. Whether it is a breathing technique, body movement, or meditation, the ability to feel energy takes so much precedence that the other sense are rarely even mentioned in a beginner sense. I'm not talking about visualization here, where you have to "make up" the images that you see. I'm talking about something that is objectified as having "independent" form, and I have yet to find that experience coming before the sense of feeling.

I think that applies to the black magic community as a whole, rather than a “niched” community of the “succubus experience”. I think most of us have started our magical paths without doing any form of basics at all. Somehow we tend to point out the basic training afterwords, anyway, even if we skipped it ourselves.


#7

[quote=“T.W.J.F.K.A.The1Gza, post:5, topic:7318”]I think there is misunderstanding here of what I mean by that. I find no practical use for a skill or experience that does not have universal application in all facets of life. Astral projection may be a decent skill to have, but if astral projection doesn’t lend itself to being a tool that serves any real empowering purpose, then it’s as useful as marathoning episodes of television programs on Netflix. I have no reason to astral project if I am not expanding a skill, knowledge form, or power ability that I can take with me into my physical experience. In fact, astral projection for me is not a “spiritual” thing; it holds just as much substantial credence as Earthly experience does. The same goes for visualization, energy mastery… whatever it is I am holding it to having the same substantial priority as what I hold normal Earthly experience to.

So that might be where things are a bit hard to communicate, because I don’t isolate experience in primordial work like that. It’s one of the reasons I stopped working with normal practices and went into hypnosis; I wanted to give what I was doing the same sense of substance that I did the experience of common Earthly matters. Not saying that traditional practices can’t do that, but for me it was hard to honestly maintain motivation with something that was clearly not registering as being as substantial and pronounced as my default reality was. You’re talking to a guy who’s default sense was feeling; I’ve mentioned that a bit due to my past of chronic illness. Still, with what I do now I could not advocate the idea that one sense is somehow more expansive than another, at least inherently. But again, this is coming from a person who has approached things in a manner that engenders manifestations that are quite a bit different than traditional practice approaches allow for most people.[/quote]

Well it seems that you could be missing the point on your choice to not practice something like astral projection or soul travel, and also in how you seem to negate what others are saying if you can’t validate it in ways that conform to your own senses. You seem to be caught up in the physical mind in how you view it, if you forgo doing it in favor of other more seemingly “scientific” practices that you can more easily physically quantify with your physical senses… Things like soul travel take practice, and may not seem tangible at first, especially if your senses have operated differently, as you’ve stated. Also, there is the chance that ego is part of the resistance to it, as it does indeed take effort and practice, and a willingness to suspend your disbelief for a time when learning it… And sometimes because you may not see initial results or benefit, you ignore it in favor of what you are comfy with or know, or what may be more established in certain communities. Venture out a little, you may suprise yourself…

Each magician or practitioner must choose what works for them, of course, and if hypnosis is your main focus at moment, then great! But understand that you may be limiting yourself substantially by overlooking these other things… And the benefits are sometimes not fully apparent til you actually do them. Strengthening an ability such as astral travel or soul travel will strengthen other abilities too.

You mentioned that you try to ground it in reality, yet magicians see more layers of reality than most other folks…so…which level are you referring? Just because you cannot percieve it does not in any way invalidate or negate the experience of another practitioner…but rather shows you where you may be needing to better develop your own skills.

I hear what you are saying though about trying to be objective; and I take that to mean people should take care to ensure they aren’t simply masturbating their magickal mind with total fantasy and mistaking that for an actual skill or demonstration of a successful magickal operation or way to perceive what they think they are feeling… I can understand that idea, and EA speaks on mental magickal masturbation… But also know that whats true for you may not be for others, and vice versa; that you may have to trust the process you are attempting to work, and know that no matter what your rational mind demands as “proof”, just know that it is perceptible in many other ways… And you can choose to further develop those areas, or not… But many magicians always continue to improve, ascend and eliminate self doubt.


#8

[quote=“Darsinda, post:7, topic:7318”][quote=“T.W.J.F.K.A.The1Gza, post:5, topic:7318”]I think there is misunderstanding here of what I mean by that. I find no practical use for a skill or experience that does not have universal application in all facets of life. Astral projection may be a decent skill to have, but if astral projection doesn’t lend itself to being a tool that serves any real empowering purpose, then it’s as useful as marathoning episodes of television programs on Netflix. I have no reason to astral project if I am not expanding a skill, knowledge form, or power ability that I can take with me into my physical experience. In fact, astral projection for me is not a “spiritual” thing; it holds just as much substantial credence as Earthly experience does. The same goes for visualization, energy mastery… whatever it is I am holding it to having the same substantial priority as what I hold normal Earthly experience to.

So that might be where things are a bit hard to communicate, because I don’t isolate experience in primordial work like that. It’s one of the reasons I stopped working with normal practices and went into hypnosis; I wanted to give what I was doing the same sense of substance that I did the experience of common Earthly matters. Not saying that traditional practices can’t do that, but for me it was hard to honestly maintain motivation with something that was clearly not registering as being as substantial and pronounced as my default reality was. You’re talking to a guy who’s default sense was feeling; I’ve mentioned that a bit due to my past of chronic illness. Still, with what I do now I could not advocate the idea that one sense is somehow more expansive than another, at least inherently. But again, this is coming from a person who has approached things in a manner that engenders manifestations that are quite a bit different than traditional practice approaches allow for most people.[/quote]

Well it seems that you could be missing the point on your choice to not practice something like astral projection or soul travel, and also in how you seem to negate what others are saying if you can’t validate it in ways that conform to your own senses. You seem to be caught up in the physical mind in how you view it, if you forgo doing it in favor of other more seemingly “scientific” practices that you can more easily physically quantify with your physical senses… Things like soul travel take practice, and may not seem tangible at first, especially if your senses have operated differently, as you’ve stated. Also, there is the chance that ego is part of the resistance to it, as it does indeed take effort and practice, and a willingness to suspend your disbelief for a time when learning it… And sometimes because you may not see initial results or benefit, you ignore it in favor of what you are comfy with or know, or what may be more established in certain communities. Venture out a little, you may suprise yourself…

Each magician or practitioner must choose what works for them, of course, and if hypnosis is your main focus at moment, then great! But understand that you may be limiting yourself substantially by overlooking these other things… And the benefits are sometimes not fully apparent til you actually do them. Strengthening an ability such as astral travel or soul travel will strengthen other abilities too.

You mentioned that you try to ground it in reality, yet magicians see more layers of reality than most other folks…so…which level are you referring? Just because you cannot percieve it does not in any way invalidate or negate the experience of another practitioner…but rather shows you where you may be needing to better develop your own skills.

I hear what you are saying though about trying to be objective; and I take that to mean people should take care to ensure they aren’t simply masturbating their magickal mind with total fantasy and mistaking that for an actual skill or demonstration of a successful magickal operation or way to perceive what they think they are feeling… I can understand that idea, and EA speaks on mental magickal masturbation… But also know that whats true for you may not be for others, and vice versa; that you may have to trust the process you are attempting to work, and know that no matter what your rational mind demands as “proof”, just know that it is perceptible in many other ways… And you can choose to further develop those areas, or not… But many magicians always continue to improve, ascend and eliminate self doubt.[/quote]

I’ve been asked to desist posts on this topic, so I will it alone.


#9

I’ve banned this member after some complaints and other issues, anyone who has any questions please PM me, he had a long and non-glorious history of coming here to tell us we’re all wrong.


#10

[quote=“succupedia, post:1, topic:7318”]When we communicate with our spirits, the most common way to go, isn’t the physical energies. Instead we’re talk about the visual and the audible. To see and to hear. In my world, that’s very limiting.

With the ability to feel and sense energies and it’s different manifestations, you can learn much more from it, than with the ability to hear and see. And it is just a valid source for communication like the other two, with the biggest difference that it has much more layers to it.[/quote]

you’re onto something profound here. kinesthesia is your main form of communication both internally, and with the external and invisible worlds. the secondary communication form is verbal auditory, using your pharynx. knowing what i know now, those are two of the most important areas you need to train for effective spirit communication. the only thing i can think of that is more important to train, is energy breathing.*

in esoteric hypnotism and mesmerism, energy moves through your nervous system and flows both out of and into you through the parts of your body with the most nerve endings. that is how your body communicates with reality and paranormal forces. so kinesthesia is very important for spirit communication.

again, energy moves both in and out of your body through your extremity nerve bundles, which is how you communicate with the worlds of mind and matter. there are two ways of doing this: via mesmerism (sending internally-generated energy through your nerve endings), or the laying on of hands to receive informaton.

if you’ve ever seen any of the sensory homunculus you see in visual form the most important extremities for sending internally-generated energy out into the world, or receiving it from your environment. here are your communicating modality points, which are the areas on your body where you both send and receive hypnotic and mesmeric energy with the most power. by far the most important are your voice (your pharynx and lips) for sending communications, and your hands (especially thumbs and fleshy parts of your palms, but also your fingers) mostly for receiving external energy but also for sending internally-generated energy out (passives and actives).

training these areas develop your psi because the different terminal nerves control your modalities (your optic nerve controls your visuals, your vestibulocochlear nerve controls your hearing, your olfactory nerve controls your sense of smell, and your trigeminal nerve controls your gustatory sense). their corresponding submodalities are variations of the impulses generated by your nerves. ALL of these modalities can be read through your kinesthetic modality, or your nerves and intuition. and all of them are processed by your solar plexus, which is your kinesthetic brain.

concentrating on these modalities’ neural impressions gives trances that offer the ability to predict movements. if you’ve ever seen a wing chun fighter close their eyes and ‘see’ their opponents’ next move by countering it in hundredths of a second, you are seeing how hypersensitivity translates to sight. that is why bruce lee (who trained wing chun under ip man) was so blindingly fast. similarly, the concert violinist jascha heifetz could play the violin faster than recorded mics or cameras could pick up his sound. he used his kinesthetic focus to go into trance, at which point his inner ear could imagine sounds that had not yet taken place, and he responded to those sound predictions by playing in time with them, and the result is in the real world, he sped up and played faster than everyone else, and perfectly in tune. again hypersensitivity, but aural. even though it is fictional, darth vader pointing his thumbs and fingers and sending ‘the force’ out to others is an example of him extending his kinesthesia out of his body, and believe it or not, that IS possible through mesmerism. here is an example of what it looks like in real life. trance-triggered hypersensitivity is the skill of using kinesthesia to regulate all other modalities and their submodalities to a great degree. when done properly, that is the hypnotic phenomenon you use to train your psychic power.

energy circulates through your nervous plexi, which are the hypnotic/mesmeric version of chakras. here and here are examples of what hypnotic chakras would look like; the red circles are where your nervous plexi bundle up and the orange circles are where your plexi are either surrounding your gastrointestinal system, or located on the inside of your spine, forming highways for the movement of energy and neural messages throughout your body.** that’s why nlp practitioners say ‘you can’t not communicate’; if you have any lifeforce moving through your body, you have corresponding neural messages and commands moving along with that energy. the life that moves through you is literally speaking to you, and it moves along your nerves.

this is a great thread with very important information. thank you for writing it, reading it has helped me put a lot of important concepts together in a way that now i am beginning to understand them properly.

[i]* i didn’t mention trancework because it is implicit in kinesthesia - it is a natural byproduct of holding a steady focus on any form of neural impression. if you focus on any vakog, you will naturally go into trance, or can be led into trance by any good hypnotist. the nervous impression is more important than your meditation or concentration, so in that way, a lot of magicians training for spiritual communication are doing it backwards.

** for comparison, here is the esoteric anatomy of the kabbalist body of light, the hindu chakra body, and the tcm meridian body.[/i]


#11

Omg…alot of what is talked about here is what I’m experiencing and I am looking to further myself and increase communications with my spirits. I hope my post is good enough to be here…

I’ll have to make a seperate post, but @succupedia, I’d hate for you to make the hundredth reply to a new post so I’ll be here as I find it’s the most relevant to what I’m looking for.

I am prior military, 11 years, and served alot with the infantry. Point in case to this little fact, you get to develop some thick skin as there was my fair share of hazing and things done at my expense for a good laugh, alot of which I was fine with. So in regards to feelings I can say that I’m pretty sure of myself. Which is why I’m here. Reading the beginnings of this thread, it sounds like this is what i think I’ve been looking for, to improve comms with my love(s) and move past the small bursts of the butterfly feelings on various things. I would love to deepen the bond between us and not feel like I’m doubting myself at times because as @T.W.J.F.K.A.The1Gza mentioned, I could very well be trying to fool myself.

This will be the 3rd time I’ve gotten back into trying to getting comms back and improve them. You mentioned physical energy @succupedia, so besides your input on what I’ve posted (more if you want, the best that I can) could this be something to help me out?