This is a little bit of a complicated topic but this is something that’s been clashing in my life for a while and I’m starting to wonder if I’ve been misleading myself or if my ideology is something I need to communicate more clearly.
See, I believe that those who help themselves gets helped in life, but at the same time I don’t believe help should be handed to someone like it’s candy. I think a conversation about wether or not a person needs help would be more helpful than just handing money over to someone who seems to be in a “pickle” of a situation. So it’s not that I don’t like help, but help should be something that is a gift or favor and not a expectation.
My parents don’t have this ideal. I don’t really blame them, as they come from a different background than I do, but sometimes I feel like they want to help me in ways that makes me feel as if they’re trying too hard to help me. I’m a person who likes to do as much as she can alone and if I need help, I’ll ask for it. My parents seem to think that I need help, period, and try to do things for me I can’t appreciate because of my situation differing from how they had it when they were younger. I try to communicate to them but eventually I feel like I’m just running in circles because my mom constantly forgets positive things I say and my dad keeps urging me to practice communication, which I don’t have a problem with in other situations.
I’m not very good at verbal communication in the first place and I feel like I get smacked down for it the harder I try so basically I’d like to have spiritual help and general tips or stories that will encourage me to tell my parents that even though I appreciate their help, I have different needs from what they are trying to do for me. I know Hermes and Loki are useful for communication but I’d like some help with ideas. (I’d rather not share personal information just because I’m trying to focus on what I can do to help my side of the situation because I’m trying really hard communicate to them I’m focusing on different things than they want me to focus on because I’ve already decided a few things. They don’t understand that I know what I want to do, I just don’t want to limit myself too much in my field of study because of the nature of social sciences).