12.15
A cut appeared on my wrist the day after the invocation, and has just recently healed . I say appeared because I looked down at a red spot, and as I was watching it, a perfect line appeared and blood surface. Still trying to figure out what could’ve gotten me.
The invocation was used as sort of an extended offering. I wanted to give an experience with my date that night, so I created a servitor that would essentially overlay my own body and act as a vessel for sexual energy, as a collector in a sense. This was the black widow that had been gestating for quite some time.
Utilizing the lunar transit at the time, she was born the night of, alongside an offering of wine and orgasmic energy. After, I activated KB’s sigil, and called him forth to tell him the deal. Well, what was intended to go down.
With the servitor activated and Belial very present, I went to my date. This date was with someone who is very crucial to plans in my near future, and this year has been rocky between us. I was prepared to actually go over and fuck his brains out, but once we ate dinner, he wanted to have a deep discussion about our future. Essentially to solidify for himself that this year and my emotional/physical distance wasn’t permanent.
The talk went well, and I felt my servitor over me getting antsy at the lack of sexual release the evening was gathering towards. And yet, when I saw an opportunity or two to move in that direction, I got the gut feeling to hold back. Like trying to push for sex would sour the sentimentality of the evening (this man is incredibly sentimental/emotional about us). I ended up leaving afterwards, citing an early work day ahead, with my overall goals tended to, and yet my goal of the evening had changed.
It felt like KB was pulling me back. Not to quell sexual appetite (if anything, his presence has done the opposite) but because it wouldn’t be strategically sound at this point in time. I’ve asked Belial explicitly to help me with this, as it would involve legal matters later, and I can only assume that this was a move in favor of my overall plans.
In other areas, there’s been interesting progress with the man I’m trying to bring into my life. Constantly I see his name, and out of the blue at work and when I’m alone, I get mental flashes of sex with him. It’s become quite visceral, like I can feel it which has become bothersome in public. I turn red easily.
The only issue is that there’s been no contact. I have several signs a day that there’s some sort of link, on top of the candle work and sex magick I’ve been throwing at this guy. We have some crazy chemistry (and astrological synastry, if ya nasty) and I get the sense that he might be as inundated as I am. Signs of this have almost become instantaneous with real world events (someone bringing him up around me without my mentioning, seeing animals in pairs when I never have, a song coming on that perfectly describes the situation).
I have no problem being patient, as I know doubt will kill my efforts, so the long game is what’s in store.
). He’s an Aquarius, so let’s see…
