ComeUppance

11.19.20
10:50pm
CA, USA

Too many things have corresponded too perfectly to ignore. My practice has bled into my daily life without recognition on my end for quite some time now. And it seems the more I acknowledge these events, the more freely they are put in my path.

This will be the account of these events. I’ll keep it somewhat informal to encourage myself to jot it down as often as I can.

Should anyone want to follow along, here’s a quick and dirty:

  • the beings I work with most are Lucifer, King Paimon and most recently, Belial

  • some of my favorite and most personally effective methodology is servitor creation

  • i’m in the process of developing sex magick rites that work for me

  • also experimenting with black magick incorporated into an astrological natal chart… :smiling_imp:

I’ve put off starting this diary for a bit now, and regret it, as moments have passed that have blown my mind only to be moved on from. It’ll be fun to see the progression continue.

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11.21.20
8pm

Ever since evoking KP a few months ago, I’ve been inundated with bursts of creativity. It’s getting ridiculous almost, as I’ll have entire song hooks come from nowhere, or a story will lay itself out over top my real world scenario. There’ve been projects I’ve started that haven’t gotten off the ground for years, whether for periodic lack of interest or an overall lack of imagination. I wish I had kept better track of my rituals before now, but it’s nothing I can’t clarify again.

The first evocation ended up being quite emotional. I went into it with respect, and honestly excitement, as I was opening myself up to a being that understands and deeply appreciates the transmutation that exists in art. I had written him a poem in one shot, an entire page about the “Devil’s Stone” that I’ve been working to find ever since(the poem, not the Devil’s Stone). I later did research on that, and it turned out to be quite like that poem. I ended up crying when I felt his presence, almost involuntarily. It was out of a kind of relief I can’t describe, like a barrier was lifted and the unbridled imagination was given freedom. Powerful.

I’ve stopped denying instinct entirely. If I’m on the bus and get an urge to get off, I will. When I’m walking home from my job, if a certain street calls to me, I’ll take the long way. The brief but frequent instances of synchronicity during these times is too numerous to keep track of (I tried once and was using the Notes app in my phone every 45 minutes). Any screen that displays numerical values will have sequences on it most times I look. Lately 444 and 11:11 everywhere.

The stream of creativity is ideal, as my overall life goal is to sustain my lifestyle through creative means entirely. And now is a perfect moment to develop, as the industries I’ll be participating in are still somewhat in a corona-pause. If I don’t reach out to pin some of the dozens of ideas presented to me, then it’s a waste.

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11.28
6:30pm

Over my Thanksgiving holiday with family, I had gotten immediate inspiration for an entire short film that I made sure to write as fully as I could record. I had also found an old notebook in which I specifically asked KP to “shower me with a constant barrage of creativity and inspiration to utilize”, and now everywhere I go, stories present themselves to me. It seems like as long as I remain open, and work on divination to further perceive these signals, I’ll never fail to draw up an idea.

The mental progress I’ve asked to receive has been quick and rather steady. And when I’ve had passing desires run through my mind, a lot of the time, they’ll be fulfilled in some way. I’m going to apply this apparent ease with manifestation to physical goals, and keep track of the methodology here, as I’m sick of piecing together notebook scraps.

My physical goals are as follows, in no particular order:

  • To convert a friend of mine into a friends-with-benefits situation.
    I don’t care for relationships, and he’s expressed frustration at his lack of a physical outlet (which I feel I could be of some use for :hot_face: ). He’s an Aquarius, so let’s see…

  • 10,000 Instagram followers.
    The necessary public factor of my career is made significantly smoother if I have an audience to package along with me. I’m already 3700+ deep, so at nearly halfway, this goal is nowhere near ridiculous.

  • Monthly income of 5 figures.
    Anywhere from $10,000 to $99,999. Living in one of the largest Southern California cities, this type of money is not only feasible, but quite common in the neighborhood I’m in. The success of a previous servitor secured me a gorgeous apartment in a beautiful place close to the beach; I now will be making sure my nest egg can grow, for both security as well as all the things that prevent newly professional creatives from pursuing their vocation. There will be no blockages, financial or mental, to my ability to rise through the ranks.

These are my most foundational, immediate goals, on which I can build the larger plans I have: that is, to get my name out there and pursue my ambitions full throttle. More than anything, I can’t wait to share it here, as a testament to this dark path I’ve found myself on with you reading this. Not too many details, because if everything goes according to plan, then my real name will be spread regardless.

A voice in my head told me once (unprompted, while at my job),
“You don’t have your habits down because you’re not confident in your abilities.”
I’m not sure who it was, but I’ve ruminated on it and decided to go the route of confidence. Even if I fail, then undying confidence in my ability to come back again will see me through.

12.1

Quickie happenstance: I created a servitor under the gemini lunar eclipse, and part of their name was “black widow” due to the nature of sex + death they’ll be dealing with.

Then, the next day (11/30) one of my coworkers burst into the back, and goes “How common are black widows to Southern California?!” Apparently they had a scare the previous day.

My baby hasn’t even been born yet, and she’s already making herself known :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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12.9

Invoked KB yesterday, this is a reminder to flesh out details in near future
Some of him has lingered, heartbeat was irregular for a bit and I feel like I keep defaulting to a quite snake like way of moving when music plays. like writhing but for no purpose other than to express whatever has remained.
kinda hot

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12.15

A cut appeared on my wrist the day after the invocation, and has just recently healed . I say appeared because I looked down at a red spot, and as I was watching it, a perfect line appeared and blood surface. Still trying to figure out what could’ve gotten me.

The invocation was used as sort of an extended offering. I wanted to give an experience with my date that night, so I created a servitor that would essentially overlay my own body and act as a vessel for sexual energy, as a collector in a sense. This was the black widow that had been gestating for quite some time.

Utilizing the lunar transit at the time, she was born the night of, alongside an offering of wine and orgasmic energy. After, I activated KB’s sigil, and called him forth to tell him the deal. Well, what was intended to go down.

With the servitor activated and Belial very present, I went to my date. This date was with someone who is very crucial to plans in my near future, and this year has been rocky between us. I was prepared to actually go over and fuck his brains out, but once we ate dinner, he wanted to have a deep discussion about our future. Essentially to solidify for himself that this year and my emotional/physical distance wasn’t permanent.

The talk went well, and I felt my servitor over me getting antsy at the lack of sexual release the evening was gathering towards. And yet, when I saw an opportunity or two to move in that direction, I got the gut feeling to hold back. Like trying to push for sex would sour the sentimentality of the evening (this man is incredibly sentimental/emotional about us). I ended up leaving afterwards, citing an early work day ahead, with my overall goals tended to, and yet my goal of the evening had changed.

It felt like KB was pulling me back. Not to quell sexual appetite (if anything, his presence has done the opposite) but because it wouldn’t be strategically sound at this point in time. I’ve asked Belial explicitly to help me with this, as it would involve legal matters later, and I can only assume that this was a move in favor of my overall plans.

In other areas, there’s been interesting progress with the man I’m trying to bring into my life. Constantly I see his name, and out of the blue at work and when I’m alone, I get mental flashes of sex with him. It’s become quite visceral, like I can feel it which has become bothersome in public. I turn red easily.

The only issue is that there’s been no contact. I have several signs a day that there’s some sort of link, on top of the candle work and sex magick I’ve been throwing at this guy. We have some crazy chemistry (and astrological synastry, if ya nasty) and I get the sense that he might be as inundated as I am. Signs of this have almost become instantaneous with real world events (someone bringing him up around me without my mentioning, seeing animals in pairs when I never have, a song coming on that perfectly describes the situation).

I have no problem being patient, as I know doubt will kill my efforts, so the long game is what’s in store.

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2.15.2021
10:36pm

so presumptuous to think patience was a skill I had in my arsenal already, and not an ever-fortifying iron core.

I know this now as news I had gotten around the middle of January rocked me off what I had considered to be my greatest show of strength.

I see now that I had little more than ideas. I put in work at the start, yes, but I was still afraid. I thought if I maintained the ideas, then naturally I could ride on the highs of my imagined future success.

it is apparent now that nothing but change is consistent.

10:41pm

it’s also clear that I can’t put out my own fire. hate is sometimes the single greatest emotional powerhouse in my life, and every time, I water the flames as I’m afraid of what could burn.

nope. not doing that. I’ve started a working that’s very negative in nature. Partially because of the intended result and partially because I truly, in all honesty, want to flex the magical biceps I could have.

this working was with Asmodeus, and was my first petition to him. very pleasant experience and I had gotten confirmation that this ritual will be the starting point of a relationship of learning and leveling up with him.

using my oracle tarot deck, I had gotten some answers:

  • Did my ritual work?
    CARD: Reward and Recognition

  • Was Asmodeus here the first time I did the ritual?
    CARD: LIGHT

  • Is this ritual the beginning of a relationship with you, Asmodeus?
    CARD: Fulfillment of Wishes

(and then, superficial shit)

  • will I pass up my co-worker on tik tok? (I’m a competitive bitch okay)
    CARD: Fulfillment of Wishes

  • will it be within 6 months?
    CARD: Obstacles and Challenges

  • will it be by the end of the year, ie 12/31/21?
    CARD: DESTINY