I’ve been experimenting with past life meditations recently, using this meditation ritual:
It’s actually quite potent. I’ve gotten nearly the same result several times, with the memories expanding in detail each time.
It would start with a giant castle in a barren wasteland resting on cliffs and supported by giant chains. A young man with messy dark brown hair, pale skin and pointed ears. He went inside the castle, which was inhabited by mysterious people in robes with skull masks. The young man walked up a long staircase and kneeled before a giant pillar of green flame. There, a sword emerged from the flames, which a man in skeleton armor pulled out. He presented the sword to the young man. “Take it,” a disembodied voice commanded. Upon taking it, the young man also became a warrior in skeleton armor.
The scene then changed to an army of demons charging towards the castle, with the new warrior fighting them. But then the scene changed again, with the warrior in a canyon chained down to a stone altar. There was a demon lord standing over him, but every time I see him, my vision becomes blurry. A piece of the warrior’s soul chipped off and ascended into a void of light. It came into the possession of a being that looked like a colorful blob with tentacles, big eyes and sharp teeth, making sounds that sounded like the dial tone of a phone. I recognized this creature immediately, as its appearance is my earliest memory of this life.
Admittedly, these memories seem fantastical, so I wrote them off as daydreams at first. …But I felt an intense pull towards the warriors in skeleton armor. During the most recent attempt, I tried to focus my efforts into trying to figure out who the first was (or, at least, figure out the symbolism, if any). But I failed, my memories immediately shifted back to the second warrior who used to be the young man. I’m not really sure why, but I felt emotional and desperate. Like a child, I demanded to see my “father”. But the second warrior stopped in the middle of the memory where he was fighting demons to turn around and caress my cheek. He said “I am you”.
I was confused for a second, because I had said that I wanted my “father” not “myself”. But then it hit me: this being is my soul-father; a spirit. I wasn’t able to get the specifics of “how”, but the general idea is that he made an enemy of a demon and his own essence was being used by the latter for some project after losing that battle. To throw a wrench in his plans, my soul-father split off a piece of his own soul and sent it to incarnate in the physical realm, giving it to my guardian angel (Samael) to protect.
I tried to press for more information. His life, his powers, anything. But he was cagey, cautioning that it was too dangerous for me to contact him because of the demon lord that was his enemy.
I am almost certain that this demon lord is the entity I’ve been trying to break away from: Confronting a possible invasive entity
My soul-father told me to stay away from him, “to live” and that he loved me. I also got a name: Castorius.
The closest I could find to any entity that had that name was a Catholic saint and sculptor, one of the Four Crowned Martyrs who refused to create a pagan statue for the Roman emperor at the time, who ordered them to be tortured and executed. But I don’t think that’s him. I didn’t sense anything that would have linked him to Abrahamic religions, nor did he seem to have a problem with me and demons. It’s also likely that Castorius isn’t his actual name but a title, if that makes sense.
Since he’s so insistent on keeping me away, I can’t just go ask him.
So does anyone have any information on beings who have used that name? Or if there are any beings similar than him? Any help would be appreciated