herro all!! i made this journal separate from my other one (i hope that’s okay) so i could keep track of my banishing journey.
i had a very long and stressed out post, and @Mulberry responded and helped me out!! it was found that i have a parasite, which seems to have been feeding on my depression and my negative energy, making it worse.
anyways, i did a lesser banishing ritual and after that, i actually feel a bunch better. i finally blocked my ex on spotify so id stop looking at it and i feel more unbothered, especially since i got confirmation about him communicating with me. the only thing im scared of is like how the results gonna manifest, so im tempted to evoke sallos only to ask if the communication will be direct like i asked, but im pretty sure it will be!! (before ppl say im lusting for results, i’m just scared that hes gna be manipulative af again. i might bind him so he can’t hurt me even when he comes back tho, or idk. is there an entity i can look at to make him take accountability??? ehhh ill figure it out)
i’m surprised that the moment i literally did a banishing ritual, and well, i literally pushed it out of my brain, i felt a bit better. i still feel heavy and i need to redo my wards though. i now have sigils protecting my journal. i’ll also do a general cleanse to my room. i have ticks and worms (spiritually, not in real life) and i need to get em out!!! crazily, the moment i did a ritual; the pain in my arm mostly disappeared??? that’s nuts!! it’s been hurting and i haven’t been able to sleep cause of it. it still hurts a little tho…so that’s telling me i still got work to do.
anyways my plan to banish further is this!!
- im gonna draw a “representation” of the ticks and the worms and then throw it in the garbage disposal. i’m struggling to find the comment but someone suggested making a poppet/vessel and i really wanna do that through this method…or maybe my crushed up monster soda can? i’ll figure it out!
- funnily enough, i envisioned myself as a character from jujutsu kaisen who eats curses. so im gonna continue doing that! i basically imagine me sucking the energy of alllll the creepy crawlers into a ball of blue light, then i open my mouth and “eat it”, literally taking its energy and using it to strengthen my magickal ability.
- gonna ward up my EVERYTHINGGGG i swear im gonna put sigils everywhere specifically bc this instance pmo idc if its overkill the past few days have been so stressful for noooo reason. ofc parasites aren’t the only reason im this way, but idk…
- im gonna see if i can envision my depression and banish it the fuckkk away. i’m tired of it. i might aswell envision all of my anxieties and my worries and toss it and banish it, because im ANNOYED atp.
anyways my achievements as of now: i finally feel a bit of energy, im still tired but not as literally painfully tired, my arm hurts less, and i managed to block my targets profile so id stop stalking. i feel like i can do anything!! like idk i feel like im less worried about results in the sense i know its coming, and i just feel better about myself. although i think most importantly, im gonna SLEEP. i swear i literally have been feeling SO SICK yet unable to sleep!!! argh!!!
my weaknesses as of now: im anxious still about how the communication is gonna be brought up, in the sense that im scared that my target (who abused me) is gonna try telling me its my fault again. i specifically envisioned my goal when petitioning as something that made me feel really happy and relieved when i got it, but admittedly im still a bit worried cause the wording of the divination was like…”he’ll apologize but not in the way i expect” but it might be because he still loves me???
— if anyone wants to scan or divinate for me, id love to divinate or scan you back!!! i’m feeling really excited again which is great.