Can't seem to get rid of my feelings

This girl has strung me along for a bit, there are several months of backstory here, and I finally got it up to just cutting contact. I did really well at it for two or three weeks, to just get my head straight and focus on my own life. I was content in my mind with no longer wanting her and was honestly fine with the idea of never talking to her again.
But she came back around, and so did my feelings.
I don’t know why, but I can’t shake my feelings toward her and I am currently torn between letting the heart have what it wants, and mercilessly cutting her out.

She appears to be showing progress in herself, her stability mentally and emotionally. The cards make it out to seem as though she’s figured out what she wants too. I will attach this morning’s tarot spread.
The energy appears to be facilitating a reconciliation or a new beginning for our friendship, and so I reached out after she has made a few attempts to meet up or start a conversation, and we now have dinner plans.
I’m just not sure if I’m doing what’s right. My heart says yes but my brain says she needs to make some shifts to be right for me, and her progress needs to be visible. Otherwise I’m just going to end up hurt.


The spread was simple.
What does she want from me? Ace of pents clarified by The Chariot
How do I best protect my energy and my heart? Wheel of Fortune clarified by The Emperor

Overall energy is Justice and also on bottom of the deck we have The Lovers.
I guess I just want some input from the community. Feelings and relationships have never been my strong suit.

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We have the same deck of cards

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It’s my favorite. Stupidly accurate.

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Well for the first half of the message.
Depending on time doesnt on a person and how much i flyende they have had i once life 3 weeks to get over it is nothing. It usually takes way longer and during that initial time you surpress the feelings but If they get a chance like i.mn this case she comes for you they can reignite like nothing has happend.
All over it seems like you have a clear picture over the situation that she may need to grow.
When relationships are considered If things is worth it or not it may be best to leave the heart out of it and let the brain do the work.

On your spread do first i must say im a notice with my deck so please take my interpretation with a grain of salt but the overall to me seems like the inbalance that was the initial problem must be resolved and that will lead to a good outcome, and you will do right to take this chance as long as your heart dont clous your intelectual judgement.
So you are in the right mindset now about the relationship and know what needs to be done and its up to you to enforce that it happends and If you do it will be rewarded.

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I had this problem that stayed with me for I think perhaps 8 years. I tried the usual stuff cord cutting etc. They were temporary fixes. You are musician if im not mistaken. I am one too. So if you’ve written anything inspired by her, start there. That is what worked for me, I do get the get odd acknowledgement every now and then of her existence but it is indifferent - which is still powerful none the less.

Edit : If you want to remove her completely from your life is how I meant it.

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From just looking at the reading i cant say it is a overall good spread if this was one i was doing for somebody else i would say they are in luck, they will have a good relationship coming back to them! Bit it isn’t always that simple is it? there are many layers here that could say otherwise, the lovers and justice are big signs for me somebody will get hurt but it will over be good by the wheel of fortune and emperor. but it will take a lot of work.

Now for my opinion so if you want you can skip this part but since you want advice here it is:

Love is a double edged sword, there is always a chance to get hurt in this game, its high risk high reward. i suffered from child abuse and never was loved by my parent as a youth, this has made it hard to trust people and stay in a relationship for more than a few weeks, most others dont take both sides feelings and options in the matter only “im such a good person, why are you leaving me?”, this int always everybody but it happens enough. now i personally dont think you should bother, being held down by someone holds back a persons progress, but maybe i think like this because of my problems. Love can be a great thing but it is a joint effort and both people need to ether talk about it or leave it. you should leave it for both of you to lick your wound until you guys are ready.

and if you really need this just pm me again to talk about it , you where venting last time so a saw no need to reply to you.

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I’m no stranger to getting hurt. It is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. I just don’t want this to be a one sided thing anymore. I need to know if she wants me or not.
And I’m willing to put in the work if she is.

That was sort of my intention when I asked her to grab dinner with me. Shes going to ask why I’ve been away, and I’m going to be honest, and she’s going to have to respond somehow. That response is the key to all of this and it’s all I want, and I want it honest and face to face like adults.
I really appreciate your input, it’s been really helpful. I’m doing my best to keep a clear head about the whole thing but I’ll probably be a mess until I see her, which is fine. I am indifferent toward her thoughts and feelings, no matter what she says. I just need answers only she can give me.

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Man I tried that too!! No luck after about a week. Instead of feeling like friends it was a very cold indifference toward her. Not great really.

MUSICIAN CLUB LETS GO

You are clearly a psychic. The last time she blew me off I wrote a song and it’s heavy and mean and angry and I love it. LOL.

I dont WANT to, but if dinner doesn’t go well then I’m going to have to. I can’t see myself maintaining a normal friendship with her unless I took several months to myself. We will just see how it goes.

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I’m doing my best!

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Im sure you are and i know how freaking hard it is.
But lets see what happends and have your insightd with you then you can early on decide If things will work out or not.
Fingers crossed.

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YEAH! Im talking to another passionate individual to get the ball rolling.

Im guilty of this in the past too as long as you are aware that this link exists, you can work with/around it. Everytime you listen to it, you are feeding it more :rofl:

Goodluck :+1:
Maybe a “goodbye song” will come from it to neutralize everything for you.

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u sound like me right now im still in love with my ex n we are back talking again maybe it wasnt time for u two to make progress together at that point but u know things change ppl change

Since everyone would probably like an update, here we go! The end of the story!!
Dinner went well. She came by the apartment briefly to watch some cool conspiracy theory videos and then she had other plans to fulfill.
She asked if I was going to a show the next day (Suffocation with Cattle Decapitation, if anyone is wondering) and I had intended to go but forgot! She rather heavily implied she would like to see me there, So I snagged a ticket.
Concert day. Messages me asking if I am still going. Confirm to her.
Get to the show, she just got through the gate. I walk through, she says Hi and seems happy to see me, and proceeds to walk me to her group of friends where she promptly introduced me to the guy she’s sleeping with. I was kind of at a loss and it didn’t 100% register right away (good thing too, or I would have left and missed a sick show) but she then ignored me for the rest of the night while hanging off him like a drunken ornament, while he groped her in front of me for half the night.

LETS RECAP!!
Ignored her heavily after just being sick and tired of trying and getting nowhere

She messages me and posts on my Facebook definitely attempting to get my attention

Immediately meets up with me for dinner with zero hesitation and goes as far as coming over for about a half hour, and iinsists I go to this show with her

Breaks my heart

So yeah. That is the end of this tale. I see no reason to hex or curse her. The guy she’s with is gonna hurt her worse than anything I can do, I’ve already seen it. She is blocked on everything, no final words. Just endings.

And now I’m going to go write the most angry song I can muster up and jam it in the truck until it stops being painful.

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thats some fuckery well maybe that i her curse for doing you ke that my best advice there are more better girls out there its not worth the trouble to cry over spilled milk but its easier said then done i know

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Im honestly just glad it’s over!

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when it comes to the heart we never know who to give it to but well your not ugly i can say that so you should fin a good one either for the season or forever in no time

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I feel that but im glad you got your answers

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