I’m almost nervous to make my first post, but here goes. As I stated in my introduction earlier on the new magicians stream, I used to be a lot more sensitive to otherwise unseen and unheard things such as spirits and that strange large horseshoe-crab-looking thing that one time, and seemed to be a magnet up until I experimented with Datura Stramonium and shut it off. It’s been very weak for a number of years and I’ve come here partly in a potential effort to learn to get some of it back, and then maybe learn some great truths by exploiting the skill in some of the ways that you all have.
I wanted to share a few recent events and ask you kind folks if you get the impression that these things are signs of my sensitivities slowly coming back through my work, or if I’m a hallucinating loon. I’ll try to be concise.
A few weeks ago, while in my room, I had the distinct impression of an intense man stretching his upper body over the foot of my bed to stare into my face. He made me extremely uncomfortable, just because he was INTENSE. He wore a dark turban-like head covering with a wrap under the chin. He had an olive complexion, an angry expression on his mouth, and small squinting eyes. The discomfort led me to bolt upright with my heart pounding, searching in every direction in the dark because I could still feel him in the room though I couldn’t see him. And this was similar to another event much earlier in which I woke to see a kindly-looking clergyman standing in the bathroom of my Master Bedroom. He wore all red, had an awkward smile, and flushed cheeks. He was middle-aged and Euro-looking. He had a hexagonal wooden box on a chain around his neck and he held it out to me like he wanted me to look at it. Both of these “visions” had the full solidity of reality. They were not vague or faint.
In the past few weeks, I’ve been meditating frequently to try to raise any latent clairvoyance and to observe without judging or mentally interfering, and my left ear has started to do this odd tonal thing, just the left ear, not the right. Like the air pressure in the room is changing in rapid succession, and it comes with little bits of sound. Once, I could swear that the sound was faint 1950’s TV show theme music. I have no TV by the way, and I was home alone. I was trying to look for benevolent guides in a targeted meditation that time and also envisioned a faceless woman in wide-legged pleated white canvas pants, a white blouse fitted at the waist, and a large white Easter Sunday style hat pinned to her hair in a way that cocked it to the side. That was vague impression though, nowhere near solid, so I don’t know how much stock to afford it.
What do you think? Am I making progress in re-gaining sensitivity, or am I imagining things because I want to make that progress. Thanks for your attention and any answers you may give me.
You seem like someone who would benefit from some ritual tools. I suggest the use of a circle and a meditative focus like a candle. These tools will help to control your interaction with the spirits.
I think one can usually trust the poetic value of a spirit’s manifestation. The “angry Arab” is probably a stern spirit that wants you to be more involved in your spiritual path. You drew him in because you agree with that on some level. The “scarlet priest” is probably a manifestation of benevolent mystery who offers wisdom, but will always have another secret for you to unravel. The “counsellor in white” most likely represents the practical mental healing that you can gain by getting in touch with your spirituality.
The conflict between the logical and spiritual minds can cause discomfort, but they can both learn their place with practice. Know Thyself and Don’t Panic. If you can do both of those things, you should be fine.
The man in the turban sounds like a description of King Paimon. The clergyman in the red suit could be Lucifer or Azazel. Don’t take my word for it. I’m just going by personal experience. My experiences can be found in other threads on the BALG site.
Could be a guardian/ancestral spirit of some kind. Or a servitor assigned to you. Either way, it could be some kind of guide watching over you.
It would be quite thrilling if any of it was remotely connected with King Paimon. Since reading about that entity in these forums and in descriptions of it’s attributes in the Goetia, I’ve been interested in King Paimon and the Divine/Secret knowledge it is said to possess. I’ve not actively evoked anyone at this point, but I have been interested in him first and foremost. I want to feel satisfied that I have learned my basics before I try. I wouldn’t want to appear unready or ignorant if I should happen to meet him.
I’ve always been one of those people who wants the information all the more if it was deemed ‘secret’ or has been ‘kept from us’ at large. I know it is possible to “know too much”, but I often feel angst from not knowing enough.
And, embarrassing admission here, I kind of sacrificed my virginity to Lucifer as a teen, so it would thrill me to imagine that he has visited since in my life. The time the Priest in Red appeared, I was in an oppressive sexual/love relationship with a man who was also sensitive in esoteric subjects, but he thought he was a “good guy” on the “side of the light” and he shamed me for what I shared with him. He shamed me for my attraction to the dark, shamed me for my past, etc. I am ashamed that I fell for it for a short time and became despondent and self-critical. That was when that vision occured. Some time later, I bucked up, cowed that ridiculous little man, and kicked him out of my life. He didn’t harass me anymore after that.
King Paimon can come off as harsh and/or arrogant. He is a king after all. He is more like that “mean” English teacher in high school. Not really mean but serious. Once you get to know him, you’ll understand why.
He will help you with tact and influence, especially in political and corporate settings. Be ready to understand the “Art of War”, Machiavelli’s “The Prince”, and Chess in a new way!
You dont have to activly evoke these forces for them to take an interest in you. Once you get involved seriously in magick they can and some may decide to show an active interest in you. My experiences with Azazel has shown me this. He has popped up quite a few times in my life to point me towards useful info that helped me grow and i have yet to formally evoke him, likely to change this year
Also this thread has alot of good info in general and some really good tips regarding how the results from evocation can develop