The subject that I want to talk about is “Satan”. (I translate with Deepl help, I’m french)
For those who have not read my profile: I have a call from Satan. I feel Love for him, an abnormally strong attraction whereas at the base I had a Catholic profile, seeking God, and avoiding the Devil and all that is dark. When I ignore the call, there’s always something that brings me back to him. For example, in a manga, I read his name and I have an absolutely abominable heartbreak, as if I had lost the most precious being in the world. I have a HEART desire to serve him (not for evil deeds), while my mind, not only does he not understand what is happening, but he has not asked for anything. I am caught between my emotions and my mental. My heart does not hesitate to chant its praises, while my mental would rather chant God’s ones. So I come to the subject:
I fought a lot against this attraction, but after a while, I’m freaking out. and one day, it was so strong that I emotionally made a commitment to him (strangely enough, the mind let it happen.). It was a strong call, and it was obviously heard. Afterwards, followed by unpleasant effects (very strong inner malaise), I cancelled. This is quite normal since the commitment was not made according to the rules. But since that day, the same phenomenon has been happening EVERY DAY. Often, I come across mirror hours one to three time a day. There is no psychological aspect to it. What do I have to understand? Because it’s been happening for at least 2 months and I’ve been wondering about it. Thank you very much.
Do any of you know Satan well enough and could you tell me everything I need to know about him (even by pm) please? Why does he call me when I am rather in a Catholic spirit basically , and I am rather everything but efficient (in fact, failures everywhere in my life since 2010)?
How to correctly embrace his call? When I say “correctly”, it’s because when I want to open the doors to him I feel like I receive occult attacks (like a heavy pressure from the outer world), I can’t meditate at all because I suffer to much, so I don’t understand very well. Why do I get a call that hurts me emotionally when I don’t honor him and why I get attacked why I get attacked when I want to meet him? Is it really what the Catholic Church says about him: to hate the human even the one who comes to see him to learn?
Even when I want to try the Draconian Path without him, I am always brought back to him, as if I really had to accept him as my spiritual master. To say the least, I even wanted to go and do Krishna’s conscience to run away from him and kick him out of my life.
If someone has a direct and mediumnistic relationship with him, that also interests me obviously.
I really ask for help because this situation is weighing me down, and every time I talk about it (even in a Lucifera wicca circle) I don’t feel understood at all.