I was in a relationship, and today it’s over, but I’m tempted to try to still handle the situation.
A few days ago I asked Belial if it was really for me to stay with this boy he was going to stay in the city where I live, then I was not there, I left Belial’s hands for him to do what would be best for me, Boy left town. Today the boy calls me to get away from him, he claims that he is in a difficult time where he has to reconcile school among other things, said he wants to avoid at all costs meeting me and staying in touch with me. But I feel Belial confront me by telling me to use my “power” and command the situation, and I feel him saying that if I had imposed my will from the beginning he would still be here in my city and with me. My fear and fear is to ask Belial to resolve and I get frustrated with it, to let him escape himself, to let the boy go away for good.
Briefly, I should have been in charge of my relationship with the boy from the start. Not that I’m saying that Belial does not know what is best for me, but I feel that he let the boy go to confront me and say that I have the power to make him stay and that I should use now as soon as possible ( on the day the boy was about to leave my home I felt myself stop in time for thousands of seconds to hear something like, "Use the power you have, make him stay here in your town, ask me to make him stay.
But I’m being silent because I do not think I’m going to want this kid forever and not want to waste my energy for something I do not know if I’ll want it forever.
I think I have to be more selfish and think of myself (in this case, loving). I also hope Belial or Lucifer will send me somebody else or even make this kid stay.
Someone has gone through something similar in their relationships, please tell me, or even someone who has gone through situation where they could have used the “power” they have, but ended up not using and letting things take a different end from what in fact did you want in your “unconscious”? (One part of me wanted it and the other did not, and I’m not falling in love easily, but with this boy we had a very strong sexual connection, where other feelings began to arise).