BEING DESTROYED BY ILLNESS- bitchfest feel free to ignore

At the most basic level, it is hard to say this is all because the would be Medical mafia has blocked me from my 25mgs per day of Methadone to keep my pain and neuropathy in check so I can sleep. [ My first sin was not needing/using that much often just 40 mgs per week-evil “self medicating bastard”!] but after 9 months of maybe 4-8 hours of sleep per week, I rarely go a week without masive abdominal illness, puking and niagra the other way=== on top I have to be my wifes caregiver for her home hemo dialysis- house cleaning an cooking has devolved to barely making the poor girl a sandwich, and cleaning— ugh.
my diabetes and or liver is rejecting my new med which hasn’t really worked, and I am actually hoping the DR. [a really awesome good one as I tend to loathe the entire AMA FDA system and all Its Adherents] will put me on insulin tomarrow. Diabetes brought on by Actos [the great preventive— ha !] which has also given me AFib, so badly I tend to also puke and think I am having a heart attack. Actually surprised I made it throught the past week; poor wife begging me to go to hospital-- but then who will take care of her— our 6 gods and 3 cats I suppose. I guess it is a good thing that when I go she will be easily 6 months behind me, [right now I am just anguish and bitch venting— something i am constantly implored not to do and keep to myself and as my son would say, “man up and quit being embarrasing to your grandkids”; ha, after his 4 IED’s and other battle injuries, he will be 57 someday, hope I can watch, sorta.
my 2nd crime for which I am banned from pain relief- I am a California medical Marijuana card holder and legally get my meds through the USPS- the only thing which gives me any kind of lessening of ilness and symptoms. {Do not move to tennessee for god gold or anything— this should be ground zero fo rthe next 6 mile astroid}
I have been trying to get methadone from the darknet-- “easy” I have been told- after 9 months f failure I disagree. {I will be happy to be taught by a dark webber if there are any out there- shit I will even pay.} I have been trying Kratom— Not doing anything but killing my already embattled liver.
my wife just came out to check on me because of my suicidal ideations, she is scared to hell poor thing.
but, Is this the Destruction i am promised as I try to work sorcery etc. {Also, I have no ability to do much more than stammer afew Enns, and hope whoever gives a shit enough for at least a foot in the sturup}. I keep wanting to open a Public Luciferian Temple in the Clarksville TN area, hell I can’t even paint the last 8 foot section of my wall and get a door.
It is so strange i am constantly thrown pills which are wrecking my liver brain kidneys pancreas====== and will to not walk into heavy traffic or worse; but the damn devil weed is verboten to the person in pain— but not a problem if I go to my GP, Cardiologist, Hematologist, fukmeologist ER or whatever, and where are all the so called low life attorneys willing to sue for anything— except the most aggregious Corporate/medical Crimes ?
I wanna try to get some spiritual back-up, and am looking for Entities who require little from the broken, but offer big positive results. Though I prefer LHP dieties.
I am working to put togetyher a completely new diet and may even got the a Chinese medicine specialist in town— I hope i can afford.
I am way to yooung for this, I have massive amounts of “Becoming” to achieve, which has been totally grounded these past 2 years by either my illness of hers.
I am hoping to have a reason to hope again.
For a so called “Christian Country full of Christian people” some who parade as “Dr.s and Healers” there is no devil demon or dark gods who can match the absolute True Evil as the cowardly mindless overpaid sycophants I have battled with in the last 20 years. I hate when I am in meetings with "Health Care Professionals, some are really nice folks, but then they have to tell me about Jesus,— of course my wife has me now clamming up at such events— but the Red hot poker through my chest only glows brighter still.
Sorta sorry for the bitch fest, but this is the only reasonable group of people I have ever really dealt with.
I will happily take counsel and advice from anyone-- especially if it can restore me my tiny never increasing dosage of methadone- how to work the dark web, anything. I wanna fight. and I wanna fight so that when I win— everyone else will [who deserves it}.
Thanks for the forebearance.

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I’ll have to add more later, but…

If the doctors are giving you a fucktom of meds that aren’t doing shit but killing you, have a serious talk with them about that and demand that they restore your proper medication to you.

Find and get a medical attorney and exlpain your situation to them.

Second (Magical):
Since this is Law, and potentially about to be a court case, there are spirits that can work with these forces of the “System” and manipulate it to your ends. Belial is one if them.

I would refer to Hoodoo, but the spells are complex af sometimes and everyone doesn’t have 88 ingredients to use.

I’ll compress it and simplify It later.

Third: Illness
You are fighting the physical manifestation of the illness which almost never works. Fight The being behind it.

Method ONE

  1. Focus on the Energy of the illness in your body.
  2. Visualize/Sense/feel/imagine/ the Energy of fire consuming the Illness.
  3. Repeat for 7 Days and note results.

Method TWO

Transmutation of Illness

  1. Obtain a crystal or simply look at a picture of one.

  2. Allow the crystal to transmute the Illness into pure energy.

  3. Be a Vampire and Feed off the transmuted energy or use it for ritual.

Method THREE
Kundalini/Stack Healing

  1. Turn on a Binaural beat for Illness healing. Also use a chromotherapy app for color healing.

  2. Raise your kundalini.

  3. Focus your intention on healing yourself. Kundalini will amplify this.

Hope this helps @Frater_Dark_Matter


my Dogs would be so flattered by my typo of ‘gods’ and cats, ha. now to convince them they Aren’t gods anyway !!! haha