Tonight ill begin working with lucifer for the first time. I know he has walked with me throughout my entire life, but he has given me distance and I have stayed away. That changes tonight. The deal has already been discussed but I will not be providing my offering yet. I need to converse with him and get to know him first.
Im actually quite terrified. I know for a fact he is going to bring some incredibly nasty things to my surface and I’m not sure im ready to handle that yet. I suppose I no longer have a choice in the matter however.
I think my biggest fear is I will lose control and hurt someone. Second to that is the fear I will lose control and harm myself. When he comes to me he is rarely accompanied by calm emotions. He makes me feel such a divine, pure wrath. Holy rage burns through every atom in my body. All that surges through my mind is one word: destroy.
Long story short I’m not really sure what will happen or how I will handle it. Part of me wants to do some shielding or protection but I know not only would that be useless to him (he’s already inside me), but it would be disrespectful and counter productive.
I guess ill keep this updated with whatever happens. Wish me luck.