BDSM - Being the dominant

C.Kendall · January 25, 2018, 3:30pm

The submissive is what i thought i was, but Azazel, Lucifer and Lilith changed that,

Since then the women I’ve slept with fall in love, and become infatuated, that’s the illusion of love, when a submissive gives in, they believe in love.

But as the dominant we have to change that, the submissive is the dominants instrument to play what ever tune we wish, imagine having to teach someone, guiding them, trying to teach them a lesson.

The dominant plays a important role for both individuals, i have even had to have interviews and discuss the sex, before it begins, because nit many people can survive it, what i mean is it can get intense here’s a example.

Blood being drawn, bruising, choking, consented violence, even power tools, i can’t discuss everything haha.

But the role of the Dom is to not only, control and dictate, but also care for and protect the submissive.

No matter what you are The Dominant, The submissive.

These are really important roles, combing BDSM and magick, is potent but if you want to walk through that door, just bring a flashlight.

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AradiaX · January 25, 2018, 3:46pm

I have an interesting relationship with BDSM. I would have thought I’m submissive but somewhere in the act I get enraged and take on the dominant role. I can’t be just one or just the other. I once broke free and violated the guy dominating me and he cried, but ended up aski.g for it every time. Then he wouldn’t dominate me anymore. Only once did I have an equally fucked partner where we both dominate and submissive at the same time. She and I had rough and violent sex all the time and would basically beat the shit out of each other. That alone was the only reason we made it 2 years, it was really really good sex

C.Kendall · January 25, 2018, 4:00pm

That’s why a lot of partners swap places, to satisfy all spectrum of the pleasure.

It’s a interesting concept when the roles reverse it can however cause confusion, it’s got to be planned in a correct manner.

Sheogorath · January 25, 2018, 4:37pm

Ayyy, preach brother!

Eye_of_Ra · January 25, 2018, 5:07pm

Being Azazel’s submissive for a year I know a little bit about bdsm and magick

I’ve also had a real life Master as well. Though we did not do magick. (Real life is a term to distinguish between online and physical. Which I’ve had both)

I used to have a video I had made around here somewhere

No there wasn’t any sex in it

succupedia · January 25, 2018, 5:36pm

I tried BDSM a few times and it was a clusterfuck of misunderstandings and I was taken for granted for the role of a dominant. Being a member of one of Scandinavians biggest BDSM-communities, and participating in a few boat cruises and private parties, the last meeting ended in tears and a self esteem shattered in pieces.

I’ve known the hostesses of that party for a few years and they knew me pretty well. There was a lot of drinking, and I drank too much that night, so much that I threw up and went to bed early. A few hours later, one girl went to my cabin and she was horny after a session of spanking and wipping. So we’ve had sex that night…vanilla style. The day after was a day of disappointment. She complained to the hostesses of my lack of dominance, and I complained about the lack of communication and of being clear of what she wanted. She also knew about me being inexperienced of these kind of lifestyle. The second day, we did a quickie. I was still doing it vanilla-style and she didn’t directed me of what she wanted.

I’ve got the silent treatment during the remaining of the time and the mailing correspondence was harsh and condescending. “Maybe you’re a submissive, because you act like one and you’re so sensitive.”. Oh, I tried that role too, and was treated like second hand trash.

Less than a year after that experience, I made the decision to summon Lilith, and here I am, sharing the experience.

Eye_of_Ra · January 25, 2018, 6:06pm

Well I don’t know how it overseas but most places here wouldn’t allow an inexperienced dom to just go at it. Doms need training just like submissives do.

A sub in the hands of an experienced dom trying things he doesn’t have experience with like a whip for instance could seriously harm a sub on several different levels.

I may joke around about the whip but I would have to have some major trust in my dom to go there.

I think you handled it fine.

It’s a fine line between being a good dom and not. It’s better to function on the side of caution then …do some thing you were not prepared for and harm the sub. IMHO the whole thing was handled wrong
It took months of getting to know my Master before we ever took on something really physical.

We spent alot of time going over expectations and rules and safe words. Checklists and the like.

Just jumping in for a fuck fest is not cool. Even at dungeon parties the subsame scene with Doms they have worked with.
And you can’t even play with another Doms sub or subs without permission.

Subs are highly protected.

And new Doms are expelted to learn the ropeskills before they ever go a private setting.
Usually the sub also has a protector to insure her safety and make sure she isn’t being a brat.

Subs should know not to push a dom out of what is comfortable for them. It’s just dangerous anyway.

C.Kendall · January 25, 2018, 6:15pm

i agree me as a dominant i needed to understand a lot of things, you even should know what the submissive wants without them telling you by reading their actions, they move or make a certain noise, to let you know.

That sort of training and you have to know as a dominant that you can’t push someone past a certain pain threshold and all other shit like that even the submissive trains under the dominant.

Eye_of_Ra · January 25, 2018, 6:22pm

And the submissive should get to the point she knows exactly what is expected of her. And she should be able to read her Master …the same way a look, a touch, a nod…
But this takes alot of work and time.
But is a beautiful thing when you get there

succupedia · January 25, 2018, 6:29pm

I would say that communication is key and it should not come with anticipation and pre-hyped gratification of something caught in a moment.

I’ve never been that type of guy that takes initiative, unless it’s perfectly showed to do so. I would never do anything without consent, and without clear signs to make further progress, I rather chose to do nothing and walk away.

I can agree about that it takes practice, learn rules and set rules. But the biggest issue, overall, is to be given an honest chance without anyone setting their bar too high. Unfortunately, many subs tops from the bottom and shuts down the inexperienced guys. It’s a Catch-22 when it comes to BDSM, and that’s my experience of it.

I know kinkier sex than BDSM, though.

Eye_of_Ra · January 25, 2018, 6:38pm

That’s why you need a bdsm community worth their salt. To direct and teach. Not just expect you to know how.
Honestly you did the right thing because had you dominated her and it went beyond one of her limits you’d been at fault and subs and their limits are as unique as each snow flake.

Though my ulitame dream is to be a 24/7 slave and give up all my rights . …that is not gonna happen anytime soon. Because there would have to be 100% trust in whom my Master is.
And that would take a while to get to.
I probably got the closest with Azazel.
But a there are some real advantages to a flesh and blood dom.

Anyway. I just wanna be locked away from the world cared for , protected and adored. And I in return I serve, care for and get to be someone’s play thing.

I thinks it’s fair

But anyway my wishes are put on hold for now.

succupedia · January 25, 2018, 6:51pm

I would say that with specific spirits and entities, like sexual masters of succubus/incubus, it can be just as flesh-to-flesh physical as with another human being. It’s all about perceptions and high skilled abilities. It’s hard, or near impossible, to have a primal and animalistic sexual experience with a human, as you can with a spirit. And few spirits can change their manifestations at the flick of their fingers, going from medium, dark and light.

I still see BDSM as something fascinating, though. But I’m a cautious guy, and maybe too sensitive and emotional to try that again.

AradiaX · January 25, 2018, 6:56pm

I have to agree that spirits are at an advantage with how they can change it up and zero in. The spirit I currently have sex with is everything i would want in a lover and he gives me exactly what I want and how I want it. There is no explaining. Plus he shapeshifts and can create things that aren’t possible in the physical . The only thing I would change is that I wish I could literally have him in the flesh temporarily just even once.

Eye_of_Ra · January 25, 2018, 6:57pm

Yea I had a beautiful relationship with Azazel and I loved all of it.

But I still want physical man to be there and to hold me and kiss me and spank me. And pull my hair.

It’s just different. They are both beautiful relationships but I see no reason why I can’t have both. Especially if my dom can also assume godform😉

Im just greedy I guess I want the spiritual bdsm and the physical and want a man to kiss my cheek and tell me everything is gonna be ok.
Or beat my ass and then massage it.

Or to know he’s going to work and I need to have dinner done and on the table by 5pm sharp.

Or to bring home a treat like chocolate and totally surprise me with it.
Or stay on top of my diabetes with me and make sure my health is good.

I love both. And I want both worlds.

succupedia · January 25, 2018, 7:01pm

…and you should have that!

succupedia · January 25, 2018, 7:11pm

My spirits pretty much started at their heights of powerful manifestations and worked their way down to the middle, and they now know exactly what to do to push the right buttons. They’re very emotional, sensitive and loving, too. Which, in turn, makes them a formidable and dangerously potent protectors. No one messes with their loved ones, right?

My spirits can be just as solid as a human, so I have no complaints and wishes in that department. But I sometimes wish that everyone could see us walk hand in hand in the city.

She-witch · March 19, 2018, 4:31pm

Wow, this was really a while ago Your a great Dom, You can bruise me, Whip me all you won’t my master!! love ya

Norski · March 20, 2018, 6:45pm

I have a thoughtform I’m in the middle of turning into a servitor to serve as a spiritual submissive for me when my love life isn’t as fulfilling as it could be.

I definitely agree it’s one of the most amazing balances ever and is quite possibly the most beautiful way to explore the dark sides of the human psyche with someone you trust. My last submissive and I have the best chemistry I’ve ever had with another human being. She had some severe PTSD flashbacks during two of the scenes we did and the emotional connection that I felt with her being that vulnerable was outstanding. She’d feel extreme embarrassment, having a full on emotional meltdown naked in the hallway with a buttplug in and I’d be feeling nothing but compassion falling further in love with her. Strange how that works…

She has some issues she’s working through but something about having a girl I care deeply for resting her head on my chest so she can feel safe saying “I feel owned now… I really admire you.” does something to my soul that nothing else does. She was my babygirl and I was her master. Beautiful.