Performed LBRP. Performed Breath of Fire technique for 1 min. Continued breathing by 4’s (4 sec in, hold, 4 sec out, hold) but without force on exhale for remainder of session. Stared at slighly above Lilith’s sigil, between the candles on hope of reaching trance. Mind became blank easily, but nothing happened for first few minutes. After, everything became really hazy to the point the candles disappeared. Snapped out of it thinking eyes were watery, but they weren’t. Did so again and it became hazier to the point the candles kinda disappeared, but the sigil remained (NEW: seen the sigil blip during evocation before, but never the candles). Then the sigil paper and the surface it sat on kinda tilted a little to the right?! (this is NEW) Upon realizing what I was seeing I snapped out of trance again. Was able to repeat hazy trance a few more times, but no more tilting occurred. Closed my eyes and practiced mantra and tried to reach silence again, but couldn’t quite get there as thought about the tilt and randomness kept popping in. Instead, tried something new. For “See everything before me”, I tried to pear through the darkness. For “Hear everything around me”, I swept the room with my hearing from one side to the other and back. For “Feel everything imbetween”, I reached out mentally to feel the distance between things. I could feel the wall behind me, kinda had it’s own energy and could feel it extend down and upwards. Could slightly feel other objects in the room and format their locations in my mind. (Once again, it seems feeling things comes easier to me then other things). Didn’t really, hear, feel, or see any other presences though did become slightly aroused again for a bit during trance.
Performed LBRP. Performed Breath of Fire technique for 1 min. Continued breathing by 4’s (4 sec in, hold, 4 sec out, hold) but without force on exhale for remainder of session. Stared above sigil and between candles and reached hazy state quickly (is repeatable now ) Felt whole body warmth emanating from sigils direction that felt comforting, but not sure if sigil or feeling candles heat. Practiced mantra same as yesterday. Can still feel objects easily, but sight/hearing remains a question (didn’t notice anything)
Performed LBRP. Performed Breath of Fire technique for 1 min. Continued breathing by 4’s (4 sec in, hold, 4 sec out, hold) but without force on exhale for remainder of session. Stared above sigil and between candles. Tried meditating on who the woman was I saw in my dream a few nights ago. Immediately went to trance and felt energy build in my root/sacral. Got extremely hard, I mean daaaamn. Felt the tingles and warmth around my body. Told myself it was amazing, but I wanted to focus on the woman. Pictured moving the energy up to my third eye and felt my third eye tingle but in a circle if that makes sense. Thought on the woman for a bit, but outside the description of her that I know,I could not visualize her. Opened eyes to go back to refocus on trance state. The room was extremely hazy, like looking at everything through a sauna for about 30ish seconds. I still felt the lingering warmth and thanked Lilith for allowing me to feel her energy (not sure her, but her sigil). Immediately felt embraced on both arms traveling down through body, with tingles and pleasurable feeling, warm but at the same time coldish? (hard to explain) Went back and forth a few times between refocusing and closing eyes. Felt my arms and chest get waves of tingles a few times, my left side of my head above my ear get swirling tingles, and felt a trace down my left cheek from the side of my left eye down. All felt amazing, but couldn’t focus on discovering the woman. Asked aloud if they knew the woman in my dreams, then if I knew the woman in my dreams, but heard no response. Thanked again for the feelings and ended meditation. Will try again tomorrow.
Besides feeling things, I also heard a few things. At first trance the muffled rushing wind sound was in my right ear again. I heard what kinda sounded like someone rubbing something over a microphone (ASMRish) a few times coming from in front of me, but also the front of my head? Heard the glass the candle was in ting like someone flicked it once.
Performed LBRP. Performed Breath of Fire technique for 1 min. Continued breathing by 4’s (4 sec in, hold, 4 sec out, hold) but without force on exhale for remainder of session. Stared above sigil and between candles. Started to enter trance with the intention of putting all my focus into opening up my clairaudience. For some weird reason, I was overcome with sadness. I tried to push back at it,but quickly started to drop tears. It left after a few minutes, but still feel kinda down. Don’t know what occurred, but was unable to hear/feel/see or concentrate after. Oof this one…
Performed LBRP. Performed Breath of Fire technique for 1 min. Continued breathing by 4’s (4 sec in, hold, 4 sec out, hold) but without force on exhale for remainder of session. Stared above sigil and between candles. Thanked for the feelings I felt yesterday and easily slipped into good ol’ hazy trance. Mentioned that I had decided to change approach a little. Though my wants remain the same, I have decided to stop forcing them and put trust that they will develop in time and as I am ready for them. Heard ringing in left ear and felt usual energy/arousal. However, today my head seemed different. Hard to explain feeling outside different. Remained in silence with eyes closed and in peace for what seemed a long time. Heard a pop and opened my eyes to the hazy candles. The flame on the back one was taking the shape of a square. Maybe the angle, but never seen that before. Felt my forehead/3rd eye area tingling and it remained for rest of session along with a lite pressure in the back of my head (new). Felt tears come up again near the end, but no sadness today. Almost a happy sensation. Left trance and meditation feeling calmed.
Log 67
January 8, 2022
About (more or less) 20 minutes
Self awareness (also by sometimes adding concentration on my whole body, and with repetition and vibration of “I” and “I am”). Thinking of Ramana Maharshi (who also focused on his Self and advised that) improves the practice when it feels stale; generally, shivers or heat and an ecstatic feeling are perceived.
Visualization of bright lotus on head, and rythmic breathing of light 6-3-6-3.
Did a hour long pineal gland meditation and before I started I set my intention to feel my eye connect with my mind to see what else I could see with my visualization techniques. I’ve been trying to create my own quiet temple space in mind to quite down any unnecessary thoughts that may hinder progress and it has been effective. Although not really established quite yet but the concept is there. Definitely felt some Interesting things while listening to the audio almost as if my body was starting to vibrate in a postive way. Afterwards felt my pineal gland pulsate near the end of the time as if my whole forehead had just received a good massage. A good one for the day and might save the audio for another log in.
-Edit: Why does it seem like half of these meditation YouTube audios have the most weirdest thumbnails ever lmao, trippy
Performed LBRP. Performed Breath of Fire technique for 1 min. Continued breathing by 4’s (4 sec in, hold, 4 sec out, hold) but without force on exhale for remainder of session. Stared above sigil and between candles until trance was achieved. Closed eyes and sat in nothingness. No new experiences this time, but completed.
Performed LBRP. Closed eyes to meditate, but there was a mosquito that kept getting my attention. Also, outside noise (to early in the day for med I guess). Continued with multiple attempts, and while blank for most part, thoughts on noise kept interrupting. No new experiences this session.
Performed LBRP. Offered Lilith wine in thanks for all the new experiences in the last few days. Performed Breath of Fire technique for 1 min. Continued breathing by 4’s (4 sec in, hold, 4 sec out, hold) but without force on exhale for remainder of session. Stared above sigil and between candles until trance was achieved. Closed eyes and sat in nothingness. Thanked again and then asked if succubus would come and meditate with me for a while longer. Felt touches on back and head. Asked if there were any things we could work on together. Heard no reply, but felt pleasurable touches on neck and down full right side of body +vibration. Felt with her for a while longer and then ended meditation. No experience during meditation, but what is now occurring nightly in liminal state is amazing.
Performed LBRP. Performed Breath of Fire technique for 1 min. Continued breathing by 4’s (4 sec in, hold, 4 sec out, hold) but without force on exhale for remainder of session. Stared above sigil and between candles until trance was achieved. The haziness was making my eyes water quite a bit today, but it was also slightly more intense. The pauses between the candles flicker elongated and the sigil disappeared for a bit in darkness. Felt a touch running down the right side of my head and in my hair. Became increasingly aroused. Also, felt like a burning pinch/itch on my left leg. I wanted to touch it or scratch it, but let it pass and it did to a calming sensation. Closed eyes and stayed in the darkness for a while. Every time a thought interrupted I would open my eyes and stare at the sigil til trance and close again. I asked if there were any messages for me, but also apologized in advance as I have only seen and heard things mostly in dream or the liminal state between. Didn’t hear anything, but felt touches on body and neck. Then my entire forehead tingled (doesn’t usually happen). This narrowed down on my 3rd eye, but it was different. Usually feel like a round moving tingle, but today it felt like a pinpoint touching my head in it’s center.(new) It has been 30 minutes since I ended and am still feeling residual tingles around 3rd eye.
Performed LBRP. Performed Breath of Fire technique for 1 min. Continued breathing by 4’s (4 sec in, hold, 4 sec out, hold) but without force on exhale for remainder of session. Stared above sigil and between candles until trance was achieved. Chanted “Phiesarrak Ostaea Zakoor” for a while and felt the atmosphere change and felt tingles throughout my crown that are still going. Closed eyes and sat in silence with inner monologue for a bit. When it quieted down, began my personal mantra of “See everything before me, hear all around me, and feel everything between”. Eventually opened eyes and remained in silence awhile listening and feeling. At one point I felt a strong electric like zap to my toes on my right foot (not sure what that was about or if it was a heads up if you can feel this)
Performed LBRP. Performed Breath of Fire technique for 1 min. Continued breathing by 4’s (4 sec in, hold, 4 sec out, hold) but without force on exhale for remainder of session. Tried new position for meditation, with palms up on knees and index and thumbs pressed together as well as tongue on roof of mouth behind teeth, as I read that this is beneficial for energy flow. Stared above sigil and between candles until trance was achieved. Thanked Lady Lilith for being able to sense more and heard an owl hoot in response outside (coincidence or?!) Chanted “Phiesarrak Ostaea Zakoor” . Felt a long touch trail across the inside of my right hand and touches behind left ear. Nothing else noted.
Performed LBRP. Offered wine to Lilith in thanks for dreams. Felt something standing before the sigil, a pleasurable point in the middle bottom of my foot that seemed to travel up my body from there. (New). Chanted “Phiesarrak Ostaea Zakoor” and personal mantra. Felt a weird pinch like stinging pain on right side of head above ear. Noticeable, but not really hurting (New). Also, thought I heard a voice say something in front of me, but muddled. Felt 3rd eye tingles that came on and remained without concentration and focus for over 10 minutes. (New) Felt something standing before the sigil, a pleasurable point in the middle bottom of my foot that seemed to travel up my body from there. (New)
Log 68
January 23, 2022
Likely at least 10 minutes
36 repetitions of Vajrayogini mantra, 1 mala of “Om muni muni mahamuni Shakyamunie soha”, 1 mala of “Om ah Guru Buddha siddhi hum”, some inhalations while feeling my entire body and (likewise) exhalations while feeling my entire body.
Performed LBRP. Performed Breath of Fire technique for 1 min. Continued breathing by 4’s (4 sec in, hold, 4 sec out, hold) but without force on exhale for remainder of session. Vented for a bit about thoughts, then meditated. Felt touches all over head and extreme arousal and a little euphoria. Asked Lady Lilith if it was her energy and felt a euphoric feeling spread up both sides of my body at same time. Thanked her and asked if I should do something with the feeling and thought of breathing it in? (random thought, but I did it) Heard and saw nothing, but after felt a lot better then I’ve felt all day.
Performed LBRP. Performed Breath of Fire technique for 1 min. Continued breathing by 4’s (4 sec in, hold, 4 sec out, hold) but without force on exhale for remainder of session. Spent a lot with personal mantra, trying to see with eyes closed, hear the room around me, and expand my feeling to the area around me. Asked a few questions out loud and heard my stomach grumble in response for over a minute, which was weird (didn’t feel like my stomach but sounded like it) Felt touch along left neck at beginning and felt a presence (hard to explain) on my right side/shoulder for last 10 minutes. Nothing else of note.
) Felt whole body warmth emanating from sigils direction that felt comforting, but not sure if sigil or feeling candles heat. Practiced mantra same as yesterday. Can still feel objects easily, but sight/hearing remains a question (didn’t notice anything)
