My personal experience of mediumship is that I don’t have control over who shows up, when they show up, or when they leave. I have asked a couple to leave when they seem to stick around too long. However there appears to be a pattern. They show up in the short time after their death. Eventually they move on and with a couple of exceptions generally do not come back. Sometimes I expect someone to show up, and they never do. /shrug
I don’t invite them to stay with me forever. I dont feel thats healthy. I have had experiences that have lead me to believe that some people do though. Through an unhealthy connection to the person who has passed you can tether them to you, and just as it holds them to you in some way it binds you to them as well. In many ways the people I have known in such circumstances have a huge internal roadblock around this that they are blind to.
I have occasionally had spirit show up who I was not related to, didnt know personally, and cant conceive of what benefit it granted me to have heard them. ie- a month ago I heard a mans voice and he acknowledged that he killed himself that day. I opened my eyes thinking “oh no, he killed himself”. To which I was shown that it was an accidental car accident, he was just taking responsibility for his stupidity. And he was gone as easily as he showed up. I heard a doorbell that night in my sleep and in my mind I said “NOPE! I’m closed!”- dude just moved on
Another time there was a very persistent woman. She was so close to this space that i could discern her height, she felt motherly, and she had a really important message that she would repeat often. I walked around with her near me for months! This was new, this strength in her manifestation. I never figured out who she was or who she was here for. At this point I had not yet grown to be able to hear her words. I would just be left with impressions, so I never heard her actual voice. 2 years later- I found out that my own grandmother had died at this time. I was estranged from that side of the family at the time, no one had means to contact me. She also came to my father the night she died, and in his dream she told him to sleep in, that now was her time- and to be prepared in the morning because she had moved on.
So does my subconscious want to give other people information? To what end? Did my subconscious know my grandmother has passed? I have certainly, recently, had experiences I believe are manifestations of my internal issues. My perception though is that they are different, but would be easy to misidentify. I always sit back and notice things and keep track of all that I observe and I do a sort of reality test with whomever shows up. I keep my mind open to all kinds of possibilities.