Are you a closet occultist?

I’ve been hit with the “you don’t look like a black magician” quite a many of times. I try to keep my practices somewhat secret. You can even wear occult based clothing around here without people thinking you are a foot soldier for Satan. Anyways, how many people keep their occult practices secret? How many don’t?

I’m generally an open book in life. But when it comes to practicing magick of any kind and living in the Bible Belt it’s best to only share your practices with close friends and other practitioners. I work with kids during the day and can’t imagine the blow back from their parents if they found out I was anything more edgy than a garden variety atheist. So ya know what, if you didn’t know me you’d never know I’m a liberal, pagan pothead. Here I don’t care.

Very few people know anything about my spirituality and I don’t think any of them really grasp how deep into the occult I am. I like it that way though because not many people I know in real life are very understanding when it comes to black magick.

Absolutely. I keep my practices to myself. I don’t even talk about what I do to the few friends who do know I practice (unless they ask me to work for them). I find it makes even the open minded people uncomfortable when discussing working with demons, darkness and the like.

I live in a small town in the south full of rednecks and bible thumpers. So word travels fast and this kind of thing can make or break you when the community is the church so to speak. I have one of the best jobs in my town and there is enough backstabbing and throat cutting to get people’s friends hired that I don’t need to give someone a reason to get me fired.

Hmmmm. This is an interesting post Alkaloid. In my heart, I know that I have nothing to"prove" to anyone expect me right? However, to other people that let’s say are either so conditioned that anything remotely foreign to them = fear, OR, just don’t have the intelligence to have appreciate different views of life, and/or Practices of Ascent…it gets difficult.

I think for me it just depends on the audience. Interestingly, when I’m out with friends at a coffee shop, or at a restaurant I tend to sit Burmese Style (Indian Style) because this is actually very comfortable for me from years of meditating. Plus, when I can I always want to be in a state of “meditation”.

With that being said, I always have people asked…“Oh…uhmmm…so what’s with the Indian sitting?” or something to that. Depending on my “friends” some will chime in only because it is they that feel socially uncomfortable, and say “Oh…he’s Buddhist”…whatever that means.

Interestingly, even a "Buddhist’ will tell you (depending on the “argument”) they are not Buddhist. You see these are all concepts and labels. And with these come prejudices - conscious & unconscious…I don’t have time for that.

Mostly, I refrain from engaging in conversation about my Black Arts…even my innocent Yoga & Meditation practices. I don’t hate people per se, but in the main…people are mostly ignorant.

Now, if I notice or think I notice a fellow practitioner, I"ll usually say something like “Hey nice tattoo”, or “That’s a really good book you have…”

Frankly, it’s just easier to go about my daily life, check in here when I can, and know that even though I may not dig another practitioners Path, I can at least come here and know that this forum is giving us all a place to grow & experiment.

Part II,

Now as far as “The Closet” goes…I used to be a closet drug addict/alcoholic. Well at least I thought I was in the closest…getting arrested sort of blows that out O’ the water…heehee!!!

Depends on the company Im around. My closest friends know very well some of the things im involved in and am capable of, but even they dont know the full extent of my actions and involvment. I prefer keeping it that way, as other people’s awareness mixed into my workings tends to fuck things up.

Certain people I keep my mouth shut around, as their ignorance would make them cause a scene and generally act foolish when i dont want that kind of attention around me.

Recently ive learned that I need to keep things more secret on an energetic level as well, as Ive had a couple people, (complete strangers) single me out in crowds and tell me my aura was way too noticeable. Ive also attracted “hangers on” in this realm and the astral…the best way i can describe the situation is that theyre like moths attracted to a lightbulb.

Ive been practicing Merkaba meditations for a few months now, and this helps out quite a bit, as I can program it to render me unnoticeable and other such things.

Ive never enjoyed being the center of attention, which is odd, being a performing musician and all, but i really just prefer to operate from the shadows, and do what i need to without drawing any attention at all. But it seems like the more i learn and develop, the more staying hidden just doesnt seem to be an option. People who arent magickally aware in the slightest will remark an instant shift in the room when i enter, and ive had countless people mention that my unique “vibe” that makes them feel different than anyone else.

Animals, dogs especially go nuts when Im around. They either love me and want to be in my lap constantly, or they hate me and will treat me as a threat until i leave, which leads to a lot of the “I dont know why he’s acting so strange, normally he’s so calm around people, you must smell different” types of comments.

Maybe theres some sort of “ninja magick” i can learn

Yeah dogs hat eme too all the dogs in the neighborhood bark at me. I suppose I’m in the closet to varying degrees around most people.

In my experience it is better if you keep your practices a secret otherwise it may well be used against you. You will be surprised, even those open minded friends of yours will turn against you. Yes, they may know you read up on the subject but it’s a whole new ball game when they find out you practice. Even if they are Atheists there is something deep in the psyche of most people that will make them fear and dislike you. Majority of the time they won’t come out and say it because they are scared of what you may do, but the rumors will start and you may find yourself on the outside. Fair enough if you don’t care about that type of ostracisation but you are only creating problems for yourself when all could have been avoided in the first place.

Oh yea, sometimes dogs bark at me too, but I guess I’m just a bad man.

The best thing I ever did was rid myself of my life outside the occult. No need to be in the closet when you only talk to occultists

I also keep quiet about what I’m into. Hell, I even go to church once in a great while, and I wore some of my jewelry under my clothes to church once (was feeling like a badass. lol).

I feel it’s best to keep quiet so that you don’t open yourself up to a bunch of hatred and stress.

I keep it to myself as well. Besides a lot of mundane reasons, there’s an energetic/esoteric component to it as well. There’s a reason why esoteric lodges kept silence beyond conspiracy bs. Being too open about what you do weakens you in a very real way. Just observe the difference when you’re in a converstaion where you put all your cards on the table against one where you play them very close to your own chest. Silence is a very powerful magickal technique…

I keep it secret.
People can joke at you, sometimes fear you. Lame people wasting your time making questions or wanting to learn stuff they wont pratice or will be lazy. People thinking that you are controlling their stuff and manipulating your reality that will effect them and people they like and get angry on you, rumors…

I share with people that worth it or close friends.

Its definitely hard to be open with people about occult and magickal practice. There are times when I think I might be able to open up to a few people but after realizing how they think and what they perceive, it turns out to be a bad idea and I end up not saying anything in the first place.
Though what I find more often than not is that people are more likely to believe in aliens and UFO’s are more open to that than to sorcery and occult practices. To me, that doesn’t make sense but hey, whatever man. I’m not saying I don’t believe in other life forms and such, statically I’m sure that they are out there (‘there’ being a relative term mind you!)