Indeed, when you are making so many masks for people that you forgot where is your real personality.
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Necromancy, it has changed me tremendously and also brought the certain aspect of death into my life. Once I strarted to indulge myself into necromancy intensely, the more deeper I dug the hole and now I feel this weird longing for the currents of death every day. Not only that but it has brought this air of madness into my life. You are not truely a necromancer unless you one day lift your eyes from a book and realise that you are filled with macabre thoughts about things. As far as I know, this will happen to everybody in the current, it´s only a matter of time. And the funny thing is that I didn´t have any macabre thoughts befire necromancy. They only came when I indulged myself on necromancy.
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Necromancy is a beautiful field if you know what you’re doing. As a fellow necromancer, I understand.
On topic, my personality has definitely changed for the better, I don’t seek to make other people feel better about their bad life choices, I’ll still help somebody if they need it, but for the most part, people have to earn my help, I don’t just give it away for free not counting the Forum.
There’s always going to be subtle changes, sometimes, they are imperceptible, but other people around you may notice them, your family may notice them, even your goofy cat might notice, but it will be noticed by somebody or something.
Imagine my surprise whenever a small imp that I’ve been having help out one day comes near me, took a look at me, and ask me who I was.
I tried telling him that nothing had changed, but he took another look at me and said “Oh, no sir, something is definitely different!”, before leaving.
Ever since I started working with Belial I have gone through stages of feeling extreme lust and pure rage. I used to be an easy going type person but I feel I’ve become alot more aggressive and don’t put up with peoples bullshit anymore.
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He made me the opposite. I used to want to fight everyone, now I just lay around and be lazy and make music lol.
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Interesting, I guess he affects everyone in different ways
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MASSIVELY Spiritual Alchemy went from theory to Vulcanian Practice, I so do not even remoely resemble myself even 5 years, 2 years ago. Luckily I have also learned to keep my yap shut and jounal alot. Alotta of even my most accepting clan will in any way try to listen… good thing i think
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I’ve noticed I’ve become a lot more aggressive. I’m guessing working with King Belial a lot has something to do with it.
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Um yes became a lot more of a rebal
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I am definitely more confident now than I ever was. I’m not a doormat for people anymore.
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I have changed, but not really because of occult, I started with I was 8 years old, now I’m turning 25 next month. So for me it’s not because of occult stuff it’s more because I was growing up, my actions, ideals, beliefs, and so forth changed and well can’t be a kid forever lol.
Yeah Ive got in touch with suppressed feelings like anger, i was always taught that any negative feelings were bad that you shouldnt express them, so realising all that is bs ive become more real and freer with my emotions.Also people really tire me, I honestly could get by quite happily with never having to socialize again. I love being on my own.
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I feel more in control of my emotions and generally more confident since I’ve started.
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Oh yeah. I have changed a lot since I first seriously started working with the occult when I was 15 (now turning 27 in November). While everything has influenced me in some way, I will say that the biggest change in me was caused by my 90 day pact with Belial. That was a very deep spiritual shift and I find myself far more bold than I was before with the skills to back up the talk I make. Don’t get me wrong, i have much still to learn, but I feel more in my prime than I ever have.
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I sleep 3 hours every night, I have to force myself to be interested in things I used to enjoy. I’ve tasted no food or drink for over a month now.consumption has just become a chore. I have less patience for nonsense or other dalliance. I’m always very tense, even in my sleep and awake with a jolt every day. It feels like my mind is fracturing, but I’ve brought it on myself.
It’s not all magic sunshine and feel goodery.
Make sure you truly want what you want.
As far as a change, I’ve become more aggressive, assertive & confrontational since working with Belial. I’m no longer afraid of creating conflict if it means I get what I deserve, desire or need.
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The Holy Qabalah is the common language of the country that is myself, that has brought me massive levels of well-being.
I’ve paradoxically become both more open-minded, and more closed-minded.
When I was a teenager, I moved to a very remote, rural area. Some elderly locals came over and did a folk magic ritual to protect our house. While other members of my adopted family ridiculed their “ignorance” to their faces, I felt very grateful to see an old ritual, and was touched that they came by to bless our house, which they certainly didn’t have to. I’ve learned that one need not have a great deal of formal education to be a magician. It humbled me, because I’ve learned many things from folk magicians.
I’m quicker to close my mind, though, when I hear people automatically react with terror when occult topics are brought up. I was once at an interfaith religious gathering, and heard people saying they wanted the Wiccans ejected from the building because they were “Satanists.” Someone once came to my home, saw a deck of Tarot cards (I’d just been given some as a gift), and started screaming that they were “of the Devil.” They wanted to burn the deck right there in my house. I’ve been told that I need an exorcism because there’s a long history of Freemasonry in my family, and because my biological mother was into astrology. When people act like that, my mind shuts off in ways that it probably shouldn’t, and I feel I can’t trust their judgment on anything. While I’m still basically polite to them, I wouldn’t trust their opinion on where to eat lunch, much less on any topic that required subtlety and intelligence.
So, on one hand, I’ve become open to being schooled by people who never went to school, but have also grown cynical, because when I hear people raving about the horrors of Freemasonry, magick, Satanism, Wicca, even Harry Potter books, a switch shuts off inside of me. I feel that I can’t trust them any more. My mind probably shouldn’t close that easily, but sometimes, it does.
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I’ve been facing my fears to the point of losing them. I’m becoming fearless or already am because people around me have noticed the changes.
Well I’ve been practicing most my life but I was always in it for others well being. Now that I have made it more about my wants and needs and teaching my daughter to be who she is and not who anyone wants her to be. . I sometimes feel annoyed by people settling for the basics. It’s almost as if I see more than they do. Not arrogant but just seeing them fuss about things I just don’t care about. I think I live a more passionate life since I expanded my field of practise. Also a rollercoaster still I feel more like me than I did before
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