Hi. If I were to get into the zone in pitch black, I feel that I can easily imagine shit and feel my deity’s energy. That should be the right thing to do, however I fear so much of waiting in the dark, only for something to crawl behind me and scare me intentionally. I do not fear deities, but I fear the parasites that are trying to exploit my fears. I have a fear of the Grudge and nothing else and just zoning in the dark, I will get images of that freak. I do not have trouble with astral senses, more so with my fear of encountering parasites that are trying to do harm such as give me a heart attack with images that I do not like. Any advice will be great.
Fear invokes fear. Lucifuge said fear is the true devil. Abandon all fear and move forward. I commanded creatures from hell in darkness with a single candle in front of me. I still remember seeing dark hands coming out from the darkness to grab me. Dont let it distract you. I intentionally go to the darkness for I’m son of darkness and I’m meant to wield it.
On a more productive note, you could work on developing wards to prevent imposters and parasites in the first place. I do this by visualizing a circle of flames around me fueled with the anger of being lied to and pouring my intent that only those who are who they say that they are can enter without getting burned.
As far as actually getting over the fear of meditating in the dark, the best way to is just to do it and keep doing it over time. Recognize the fear for what it is: a sign from your body that you may be in danger, not that you actually are.
Oh my God dude, I have that fear too. Literally nothing scares me more than the grudge. It is the first thing that comes to mind when I am in the dark. The first and only thing.
It’s hard, but meditate through it. As someone who shares your specific fear, I understand how fucked up it is to have the fucking grudge in your minds eye.
I try to picture the grudge and I look at it and say “You can’t scare me anymore.”
I imagine myself growing stronger, less afraid and more confident, and as my strength grows, it loses its power and crawls away from me in fear.
It’s hard shit but you gotta just keep meditating through it.
Maybe you can print out a picture of the grudge and a list of all the reasons it scares you. Then make a counter list of all the reasons why it shouldn’t scare you – like empowering shit.
Then you can burn it or whatever you think would symbolize destroying that fear.
You can wear a blackout sleeping mask and Meditate in the day time. Try to get one that allows you to open your eyes without obstructing the eyelids. Use this until you are confident enough to overcome your fear.
There is nothing more beautiful than complete darkness and blackness
Chao ab Ordo
That is true. The yellow light from the sun that we have to deal with is so bland and ugly. The darkness is beautiful and great.
I agree. It feels more alive to be in the dark and activates my imagination. But I drift off to unwanted visuals in my head.