I don’t know what the experience I’m going to talk about right now is. In order to explain myself, I need to talk about the past.
I’ve never had any experience with entities before but back then, I was constantly meditating with the shamanic drum. I love the vibration of the drum, it takes me higher. I chose to be with myself instead of fake friendships a foreign city. My art was humiliated and I felt I had nothing left. I started using drugs, it wasn’t good for my mental health. I was not aware. Paranoia, sounds, images, etc., even if Im when not under the influence of drugs.
I didn’t meditate that day I was trying to sleep, but I was conscious. I felt the presence of something. When I looked around, I saw a darkness inside, in front of the glass. It looked like a black dust cloud. I remember felt like he was a man or masculine energy and he was trying to scare me idk. It’s like he was there to scare me and have fun. Some nights he would appear in the same place, talk to me, make fun of me, make me cry. I’m not sure, but it might have something to do with my mental vulnerability. It’s like I’ve lost my balance with drugs, lost my will, and opened my doors with meditation. He was constantly visiting me. Harassment is a better word. Over time, I began to oppose his energy. I got out of bed one day and said I wasn’t afraid of him anymore, he couldn’t hurt me and I walked to where he was. That moment disappeared and I never saw him again.
Where I feel reality is lost, did i do this in my mind? Or did I really stand up and say those words? In an experience like this, was it just words that would take him away?
Sometimes I think it’s just my own mind. But it was different from other delusions I had seen or heard. My delusions wouldn’t repeat in the same way or I was not talking to them. It was difficult for me to articulate this. Does anyone have an idea of what I am experiencing?
Thank you in advance.