Angel Journal - the path continues

[anon41658706]

Greetings!

I was led to create this journal of my experience with Angels. My Pathworking with King Paimon drew to a close, and this is my next chapter.

Why Angels?
My experience with the Infernal Empire, directly or indirectly, has resulted in myself being biased towards Angels. Demonizing them, if you will. This means I have some work to do here.

Why does it matter?
My work with Angels draws from my experience with the Legions of King Paimon. It is a significant step for my current work to reference previous work - I’m excited!

In my work with Darkness, I found myself poisoned by it. Too much time with that energy current. Boundaries matter! My work with Angels has a healing effect.

[anon41658706]

Raphael

Resentment and I are quite familiar with each other. My experience is that resentment is a by-product of working with darker spirits (or maybe I need to integrate them more). This creates blockages, often heart based.

Raphael showed me a powerful tool for this.

Imagine that your current lived experience is a sphere, or a snowglobe. Suppose that memories can exist simultaneously as these spheres, or snowglobes. The “stuff” in between these spheres is space itself, dark.

Sphere 1 is your current experience of life.
Sphere 2 is a bad memory, one that brings lots of baggage with it. Ex: a memory of you being bullied.

Raphael showed me this as an imaginative exercise; it is something enjoyable, much like a daydream. Thoughts of “getting it right” can be discarded.

You are within the sphere of your current life experience. You observe a second sphere, a bad memory. You notice a golden arrow in you hands. You find yourself piercing into the bad memory sphere with this golden arrow (from Raphael). You observe pure bright light flowing into the bad memory. Curiously, two guardians appear at the tear. You task them to continously ensure the flow of light into the memory- until it is saturated with light. They agree.

That is the tool or practice that Raphael showed me. I have had success using this practice. I welcome everyone to take this practice, and use it as you will. I recommend taking this practice and asking Raphael to “fine tune” it for you.

[anon41658706]

Revelations Suck!

My role today is to be honest. I won’t talk about anything edgy.

I’ve had revelations about myself and it has been rough. Seriously. I’d almost prefer to evoke something that can kill than deal with self-revelations.

Raphael showed my two character flaws (he does not agree with my phrasing)

1. Too much air, aka anxiety. For my entire spirital path I have lied to myself about my confidence. I play the role of a very confident person to hide my deep rooted anxiety.
2. I put to much meaning into everything. It’s not about finding the perfect candle, it’s about making a dedicated effort to communicate.

It may seem flawed to put my character flaws on a magic forum. Guess what? I’m ok with it. I’m ok with putting my flaws here, because sometimes, it takes more strength to admit one’s flaws than to brag about how many legions we evoke…

On Wealth

Ah, Wealth. I thought I wanted you. I see that my love for wealth is infatuation, lust.

I took a job, and it paid well. Better than any job I’ve had before. These are the fruits of that labor: anger at all people, spite for life itself, a dead sex drive, frustration with my personal life, anxiety, insecurity… in a photo:

And THAT is a bad deal! So, I left my job.

I like wealth. Useful stuff. What I don’t like is all the sacrifices I had to make for wealth, in this case. All in all, I think I have to integrate what wealth means to my unconscious before chasing coin again.

I live a charmed life. And that is better than a life of wealth.

Edit: I want to make it clear my issue is specific to me. I found that this increase in wealth came at a cost that was not worth it. My wealth is a loving relationship with my spouse, and time for my family. To me, that is wealth.

[anon41658706]

Michael

After a wyrd day in which I found myself going from church to church, I was pulled towards communicating with Michael.

I evoked Michael, with a candle and a sincere heart. He arrived promptly. Michael was standoffish. I let Michael know that I understood. He played the role of being standoffish and a touch arrogant because that is precisely what I don’t want to see in myself. He externalized what is internal. After this, he adopted a more parental role, that of a counselor.

Point blank, I asked him if I was being led to become a pastor. Today is the wyrdest day in possibly my entire life. Do wyrd stuff, and wyrd stuff will occur.

Michael said:
community in the eleventh hour
no one no thing can tell you but you
I asked Michael what my Self thinks about my career change.
it simply smiles
I asked Michael to tell me directly, about Self and career changes. Michael basically said that him telling me will modify the outcome. I respectfully declined.
Michael then gave me compliments, which seemed like a clear way to determine if I have a healthy Ego-Self balance or if I still play the role of the jester on the throne (ego).
You are refining yeowself (not a typo, it sounded YeeOurSelf)
you put in the effort. Cultivate patience. And learning to not attach to not attach. Don’t be desperate.
I think this last part was basically saying “Chill a bit and don’t be attached to the idea of non-attachment. That is another bind. Do be mindful of that”

Tzaphkiel
I was briefly directed to Tzaphkiel. He provided me direct counsel:
Remember no shortcuts, you will not tread water alone

[anon41658706]

Decimation

Revelations can suck, they can also be a source of awe.

I don’t have the verbiage to explain this fully.

All of my self growth and achievements have been “planted” in the wrong place. I realized that I actually am not genuinely confident. My ego has swollen up to give me the illusion of confidence. My confidence has not been rooted in the Self.

All of my magick work has been rooted in ego, and now I know that my next stage of Magick work must be rooted in the Self.

I worked with Paimon, months back, to “awaken the King in the hidden chamber”. There was a connection to “the jester that sits atop the throne, pretending to rule”. The king is the Self, the jester is Ego, and the Hidden chamber is the heart.

I’ve released blockages by practice gratitude to the divine, helping other magically and practically, and talking to to subconscious.

This post is from the heart, so I have not done the editing that I traditionally do.

[Onion]

Big internal work always gets you busy…

[anon41658706]

I’ve recently been working with the 42 Angels of Inner Transformation. An outcome was that a long term relationship ended. However, I don’t escape anymore! (Drinking, smoking, videogaming too excess). I’m still digesting the changes and will begin to post my experience shortly. It’s been hard, but definitely worth it.

Charles Bradley Changes

[Onion]

@anon41658706

An outcome was that a long term relationship ended.

Painful stuff, I hope you’re doing okay my friend

[anon41658706]

My Template

I begin my work with the 42 Angels of Inner Transformation.
The reference document is “Angelic Sigils, Keys and Calls” by Ben Woodcroft. I was led to experiment with this, rather than following the text.

I begin by calling Raziel and tasking him to oversee the success of the operation of the day.
I then write the name of the angel astrally, in Phoecian.
What follows essentially charges and interacts this astral name.
I speak the opening key word, knowing it reveals the doorway to the angel.
I speak the admitting word, knowing it opens the doorway to the angel.
I speak the angel name, knowing connection is established and solid.

I will now post my workings with these tremendous angels. It changed my life.

[Silverleaf]

Keep going like to read ur journal

[Nightside]

Same here. I have temporarily shifted to Shem angels rather than Goetia, and look forward to reading more. I will try that formula you posted.

[anon41658706]

Orphaniel

Note: I have posted the template for these workings. The words vary, according to the angel. For brevity, I will not repeat the template.

Italics = the angel

I charged this angel “to shine light on my inner blind spots”, using breath to send the charge forth.
Is this the primary reason for your call? It is.
I saw this name written upon my back, back of my head. It had a tactile quality to it. It began from right to left, letter by letter. The color was green, and I said “green because this is a labor of love.” I blurted out “sexuality is a blind spot.”

End of ritual.

[anon41658706]

Boel

Note: I pronounced this name BowAhEll, rather than BohEl. Results were obtained, and connection established regardless.

I charged this angel “to reveal difficult inner truths to myself”. I spontaneously used a pen to write the name upon the palms of my hands. I meditated.

You struggle between your outer and inner arc (??) The core that is an agape. The more animal part of you, which, child, this animal part of you is you. Talk and work and dance with it. Don’t cut and bind it to the will. Child, there are some forces that you must learn to work with - to integrate. Not to surpress and cast out. Digest your inner animal. Don’t allow yourself to be digested by that animal. This is what you must know.

The words of this angel felt like a statue come to live. Similar to the Hercules movie by Disney. When the Zeus statue is struck by lightning and is animated.

I saw a fireplace, that is struck by a meteor. Zooming out, an encampment is covered in blood and gore. Something in the ground is being transmuted. Within the soil, I see droplets as water. They are metallic. I say “I am that metal”. The drops of metal are gathered and placed into a “vessel of honor”. It looks like a cylinder. I say “this is your soul”.

This is my message

I feel gratitude.

End of ritual.

[Kindraathe]

This is awesome @anon41658706 i know nothing bof Angels so this will be nice to read. Great work.

[anon41658706]

Update

I’m around 50% done with my working with these 42 Angels. I’ll be honest folks, I won’t be posting updates regarding this work. It’s taken a personal turn and I need time to integrate these changes. However, it has been wonderful to see the life that can only arise when we allow death to occur. We can’t establish good habits until we allow the bad habits to die.

Update Two

I was guided to work with a few archangels to unlock their abilities within me, called activations, on this forum. Often, I would take a nap after the activation. I do feel comfortable sharing what the Angels told me to expect. In the order that we worked together:

Raphael - "healing, more pain
Michael - “transmutation”
Gabriel - “fortitude”
Uriel - "unfurling… as of abilities

I’d like to post updates about these 42 Angels once I have integrated them. No timescale, but it is an item I do want to share with the forum, at some point.

[Onion]

At some of the biggest turning points of my life, Michael has been with me, supporting me, giving me strength and love. I’m not too familiar with the other archangels nor is my bond deep with them as my bond with Michael is, so I look forward to learning about your experience with them. Love your journal

[anon41658706]

The Sword Banishing

I have a quick tip concerning The Sword Banishing.
Take a few moments to consider what is unwanted in your life. For example, if you get stuck in thought loops, this is too much air. If you find yourself obsessing over a person, or develop attachments to quickly, or find your emotions to easily swayed, this is too much water.

Take a moment to consider that the unwanted is too much [element]. Proceed with the Banishing, as instructed. I found this to be far more efficacious, as opposed to nit-picking more particular items. This is broad in scope, and is guided by the intelligences within the ritual.

42 Angel Update

I’m nearing the end of working with the 42 Angels. It’s provided me with many inner changes. It’s been of a different quality, compared to other spirit work. I know there’s a lot of inner work, but I find myself not able to put it into words.

The doorway to the angels have great variety. At first, they looked like traditional doorways. At times, they would be composed of various types of wood. Other times, I saw something akin to a Native American teepee. As I progressed, the doorways became: leaves, animals (turtles were reoccurring), and more unique items such as bones. One time, I entered an angel doorway and found myself within a sort of bone marrow.

What this has taught me is the value of documentation. Record your voice, then transcribe the work. This allows one to take an item, such as the above examples, and see what they mean to me. I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter what the “occult” definition of a leaf, metallic doorway, turtle, or bone marrow mean. What matters is what it means to me. This is knowing thyself.

I do want to reiterate that these 42 Angels transformed my life more than any other spirit I’ve worked with before. Once you integrate the shadows thrown on Christianity and Angels - you experience the depth of these beings. And yes, it is freaky.

[anon41658706]

42 Angels Completed

I’ll update these notes tomorrow, just wanted to share now.

The final angel, Tavriel, was different. For starters, as I saw the doorway to the angel, I received an impression of the following. I saw clouds move away, and the doorway was revealed to be a large castle. Never before during this work had I witnessed anything like a building, it was always doorways or items that represented doorways (ex. A teepee)

I entered into this castle and found something like a throne. However, a crowd was gathered in the shape of a half circle. These were the 42 Angels. Tavriel stood in the center and welcomed me. He told me I recieved the grade of “B”, like a sort of score? (I’m not really sure what to make of that bit).

Tavriel, speaking for all of the 42 Angels, told me I was welcome back at any time to that castle. I felt that there are mysteries and knowledge to be aquired here. This was the first time a spirit had openly invited me to return to their home.

Looking back, I realize this work is important somehow. Early on, these angels would put their hands or acknowledge a sort of bronze or gold band on my right hand. It looks similar to this image, but it was solid.

They also used titles like Kyrios and Adonai, when speaking.

I think there are two interpretations about this. The first is that it is a way to see if I over identify with my ego, and if I allow this to inflate my self importance. Pride before a fall ect.
The second is that they were speaking truthfully, but they were speaking to my Self, or god-whatever, as some on the forum say.
I tend to think it was the second. Why? A line from Lady Eva’s post on the Stoicheia exercise sits in my awareness. (I’ve been doing that about twice a day for several weeks).
I am the Power behind all powers, the Form behind all forms…
I suspect That is what the angels were speaking to.