Angel Journal - the path continues

Greetings!

I was led to create this journal of my experience with Angels. My Pathworking with King Paimon drew to a close, and this is my next chapter.

Why Angels?
My experience with the Infernal Empire, directly or indirectly, has resulted in myself being biased towards Angels. Demonizing them, if you will. This means I have some work to do here.

Why does it matter?
My work with Angels draws from my experience with the Legions of King Paimon. It is a significant step for my current work to reference previous work - I’m excited!

In my work with Darkness, I found myself poisoned by it. Too much time with that energy current. Boundaries matter! My work with Angels has a healing effect.

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Raphael

Resentment and I are quite familiar with each other. My experience is that resentment is a by-product of working with darker spirits (or maybe I need to integrate them more). This creates blockages, often heart based.

Raphael showed me a powerful tool for this.

Imagine that your current lived experience is a sphere, or a snowglobe. Suppose that memories can exist simultaneously as these spheres, or snowglobes. The “stuff” in between these spheres is space itself, dark.

Sphere 1 is your current experience of life.
Sphere 2 is a bad memory, one that brings lots of baggage with it. Ex: a memory of you being bullied.

Raphael showed me this as an imaginative exercise; it is something enjoyable, much like a daydream. Thoughts of “getting it right” can be discarded.

You are within the sphere of your current life experience. You observe a second sphere, a bad memory. You notice a golden arrow in you hands. You find yourself piercing into the bad memory sphere with this golden arrow (from Raphael). You observe pure bright light flowing into the bad memory. Curiously, two guardians appear at the tear. You task them to continously ensure the flow of light into the memory- until it is saturated with light. They agree.

That is the tool or practice that Raphael showed me. I have had success using this practice. I welcome everyone to take this practice, and use it as you will. I recommend taking this practice and asking Raphael to “fine tune” it for you.

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Revelations Suck!

My role today is to be honest. I won’t talk about anything edgy.

I’ve had revelations about myself and it has been rough. Seriously. I’d almost prefer to evoke something that can kill than deal with self-revelations.

Raphael showed my two character flaws (he does not agree with my phrasing)

  1. Too much air, aka anxiety. For my entire spirital path I have lied to myself about my confidence. I play the role of a very confident person to hide my deep rooted anxiety.
  2. I put to much meaning into everything. It’s not about finding the perfect candle, it’s about making a dedicated effort to communicate.

It may seem flawed to put my character flaws on a magic forum. Guess what? I’m ok with it. I’m ok with putting my flaws here, because sometimes, it takes more strength to admit one’s flaws than to brag about how many legions we evoke…

On Wealth

Ah, Wealth. I thought I wanted you. I see that my love for wealth is infatuation, lust.

I took a job, and it paid well. Better than any job I’ve had before. These are the fruits of that labor: anger at all people, spite for life itself, a dead sex drive, frustration with my personal life, anxiety, insecurity… in a photo:


And THAT is a bad deal! So, I left my job.

I like wealth. Useful stuff. What I don’t like is all the sacrifices I had to make for wealth, in this case. All in all, I think I have to integrate what wealth means to my unconscious before chasing coin again.

I live a charmed life. And that is better than a life of wealth.

Edit: I want to make it clear my issue is specific to me. I found that this increase in wealth came at a cost that was not worth it. My wealth is a loving relationship with my spouse, and time for my family. To me, that is wealth.

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Michael

After a wyrd day in which I found myself going from church to church, I was pulled towards communicating with Michael.

I evoked Michael, with a candle and a sincere heart. He arrived promptly. Michael was standoffish. I let Michael know that I understood. He played the role of being standoffish and a touch arrogant because that is precisely what I don’t want to see in myself. He externalized what is internal. After this, he adopted a more parental role, that of a counselor.

Point blank, I asked him if I was being led to become a pastor. Today is the wyrdest day in possibly my entire life. Do wyrd stuff, and wyrd stuff will occur.

Michael said:
community in the eleventh hour
no one no thing can tell you but you
I asked Michael what my Self thinks about my career change.
it simply smiles
I asked Michael to tell me directly, about Self and career changes. Michael basically said that him telling me will modify the outcome. I respectfully declined.
Michael then gave me compliments, which seemed like a clear way to determine if I have a healthy Ego-Self balance or if I still play the role of the jester on the throne (ego).
You are refining yeowself (not a typo, it sounded YeeOurSelf)
you put in the effort. Cultivate patience. And learning to not attach to not attach. Don’t be desperate.
I think this last part was basically saying “Chill a bit and don’t be attached to the idea of non-attachment. That is another bind. Do be mindful of that”

Tzaphkiel
I was briefly directed to Tzaphkiel. He provided me direct counsel:
Remember no shortcuts, you will not tread water alone

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Decimation

Revelations can suck, they can also be a source of awe.

I don’t have the verbiage to explain this fully.

All of my self growth and achievements have been “planted” in the wrong place. I realized that I actually am not genuinely confident. My ego has swollen up to give me the illusion of confidence. My confidence has not been rooted in the Self.

All of my magick work has been rooted in ego, and now I know that my next stage of Magick work must be rooted in the Self.

I worked with Paimon, months back, to “awaken the King in the hidden chamber”. There was a connection to “the jester that sits atop the throne, pretending to rule”. The king is the Self, the jester is Ego, and the Hidden chamber is the heart.

I’ve released blockages by practice gratitude to the divine, helping other magically and practically, and talking to to subconscious.

This post is from the heart, so I have not done the editing that I traditionally do.

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Big internal work always gets you busy…

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