First, a little back story to provide clarity.
I stopped communing with Lilith 2 days ago. Not permanently, just long enough to cope with some internal turmoil she sturred up.
In the past I have been able to keep her at bay when I feel the need. But last night, I woke and felt her presence. I tried to ward her off but this time it made no difference. Then my very will to resist felt completely stripped away. My body very quickly entered a state of extreme arousal, not uncommon with Lilith but this time was far more intense. I felt like I was mentally being torn apart. I then spent the rest of the night drifting between states of heavily dreamful sleep and waking periods of intense physical ecstasy. While I could say it was physically pleasurable to a point, mentally it was agonizing.
Now in the aftermath, I feel physically sore with parts of my insides randomly feeling cold like ice and at other times like their baking from the inside out. I get other random sensation like buzzing in my chest and arms or pressure in my forhead followed quickly by the top half of my face going tingly.
I have no clue how to get my energetic equalibrium back or how to address this incident. I’ve come to expect a certain intensity from Lilith at times but she’s never gotten rapey with me before.