Alter Ego?

Last night I had a dream that I vaguely remember and I had the impression of a man that was pointing at Azazel’s sigil.

So tonight I did a ritual evoking Azazel.

For the ritual I laid out 4 candles, one for each cardinal direction, and I had an incense burner with copal incense in it.

Now for side note I did something stupid and was really mad at myself today. So I didn’t do the usual banishing, invoking omnipotence, or bathe.
I just did whatever I felt like and lit four candles in the cardinal directions and an incense burner with copal incense.

So I gazed at Azazel’s sigil and it started flashing and repeated itz rel itz rel Azazel. After I give license to appear I commanded him to appear before me in in beholdable form and speak in a discernable voice. mind you I usually speak more respectfully and just request things but I was in a very bad mood today. Of course my spiritual senses aren’t developed so nothing much came out of that.

So right when I give my intent of the evocation,which was to awaken my power, the thunder clapped really loud, and I jumped. After the thunder clap I felt a shift, and I started laughing softly.

It felt like a shift in mindset. You know when you were a kid and you were able to create your own little reality and entertain yourself for hours. Thats exactly what it felt like. I felt completely “in character”. I felt like at this moment I can immerse myself in what I’m doing instead of just going through motions. And I while I was going through this and finishing the ritual in this state, I remember thinking that this person(me) right now feels almost like an alter ego and is a little insane. It was an amazing feeling and pleasant nostalgia.

Is anyone willing to share what there mindset is going through a ritual and if there was a shift in yourself while you were on your path to ascent?

Phew it took me 30 minutes to write that… I need to take some writing classes.