I’ve been interested in magick and everything spiritual for years now. I’ve had some succcess here and there. I’m always striving to learn more and make progress but then it hit me - what am I going to DO with magick and what do I want to ACHIEVE?!? There might be a 100 reasons why I haven’t progressed with this or that but it’s dawned on me maybe a big part is that I’m simply not defining my actual goals and then I realized I’m afraid to…
For example, I want to lose weight. So, first I think I’ll use magick/spirituality to help lose weight. But my fear comes from what if I lose weight by getting cancer or similar - the universe/God/demons/whatever can say “well, you wanted to lose weight so there, now you’ve lost weight!” Or I want to do everything I can to help my 4 year old to stop stuttering. So if I use magick to somehow help with that, what if he becomes a mute - “well, see, he doesn’t stutter anymore!” the universe/whatever can retort.
My question is - how do I get past this fear or deal with it? What’s the reality of things when it comes to declaring what you want? Can things go bad like that? If so, can I avoid it or protect against it, etc. etc.
I guess this is a broader issue I have in general in that I’ve always had a fear of going after and getting things I want because I fear having those successes will somehow lead to bad things so I just go with the flow in life and play it safe. Being raised a Jehovah’s Witness I’m sure didn’t help - to where in the back of my mind I can still here my mother and the church say that pretty much anything is “dabbling with demons” and bad things will happen.
I’d love to hear your input friends!!