Advice for getting over Fear/ Anxiety in your Workings

So, this is kind of embarrassing for a magician to admit, and it’s taking a lot to say this, but I’m glad to finally get it out there.
My first experience with magick was somewhat harmful to my psyche. I was around 17 and hadn’t educated myself properly on the importance of banishment and protective circle casting. I ended up drawing a lot of spirits to my house and traumatizing myself and my family. Rookie mistake, I know.

After that I stopped practicing for a while and only returned when I had properly educated myself on protection. But I sometimes still feel the effects of anxiety when I’m working from those first few bad experiences. Sometimes it even stops me from doing any ritual work at all. I tend to be somewhat of a spirit magnet and I always chase them out of the house like pest-control.

I’ve recently connected to a deity that I feel will protect me more thoroughly but I’m still afraid to go out and do rituals at night for fear of negative entities surrounding me and that i won’t be able to defend myself.

Any advice?

I really recommend the “Book of Soul Retrieval” by Enoch B. Petrucelly. His" Grimoire of the Black Witch" also related to your problem. He seems to have gone through similar things that you are stating.
I also suffer from anxiety, although I am rarely anxious about my magick. I was anxious when I began LHP and Demonic studies, as many are. I decided, since I am rather a stubborn “shield down, march forward” type to surrender my irrational fear to the demonics I work with. It was amazing and worked very well for me.

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Ah, thank you. I was hoping some other established magick users would have shared a similar experience to me. I will definitely check those out

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