Addicted to validation, CBT and Mindfulness doesn't work for me

[Oflameo]

@Lady_Eva

What does validation give you?

What does feeling its absence or opposite give you?

Validation makes me feel normal and an upstanding member of society, and the opposite makes me feel like a monster that should be put down, but I don’t want to put myself down because it doesn’t benefit me.

@SagaMysterium

I did not know what Cluster-B was until I googled it now. So relatable (prev. diagnosed with borderline). CBT didn’t work for me either. I found that I was doing everything they were telling me and it just wasn’t working. I started a lot of work with self-help books and doing a lot of self-analysis. I found I wasn’t asking myself the right questions behind what drove my behavior. The questions above really helped me, and I used a tool called Youper . It changed my life.

I largely been there done that when it came to self help products. I haven’t used Youper yet, but I don’t think I can validate myself with a chat bot because I can’t suspend my disbelief enough. I been working out the mental gymnastics on my balg blog Oflameo's Doom Bunker - #21 by Oflameo but I just don’t have it yet.

@SagaMysterium

I’m not sure where you’re located, but in my area (Nashville, TN) we have things that are “creative therapists” which use different mediums to get you going. For example, my present counselor uses my storytelling to help me work through trauma. (I know that’s not the purpose of this post, but wanted to share the knowledge in case that was an interest of yours, I didn’t know these types of therapists existed until recently).

I am in Pittsburgh, PA. I went through Vocational Rehabilitation but it is hot garbage all of the way around. I stopped not because the program worked but I got my immediate issues solved with connections. The therapy never addressed the core issues it it was just patchwork at best. I went to a private psychotherapist for a couple years after my immediate needs were met because the state covered the bill.

@SagaMysterium

I’m not sure if this is allowed (someone smack me if not), but–if IT is where you want to go and you have an aptitude for it, you should look into Salesforce. It is my current career path, and I have no IT background or college degree.

There are lots of options out there like that. It’s a promising field, especially in the US.

I was convinced I had aptitude, my teachers and my grades show that I had aptitude, and I am using Linux now, but the market showed me that it was bullshit. I could only get what Joshua Fluke would describe as garbage jobs. I am not even working in IT right now, I am in logistics right now, but I am getting paid more now did I did when I was in IT. There is no refunds for those courses. I have to find the money somewhere.

@SagaMysterium

You can, you just haven’t found the right way yet. That’s a horrible answer, and it completely sucks.

It does suck.

@Anziel_Merkaba

If you can’t do it, change yourself so you can do it.

You say that like I haven’t thought about it. Go back to 4 please.