I don’t know if you feel that it has some kind of reaction to specific situations, but the one who reacts is not you but an alter within you, and it is very annoying. I always visualize that I annihilate them, but you always come back, and it is a constant torture, like something that is not me wants to impose the way of reacting and seeing things. I think they are alters formed by traumas. I have tried visualizing Abbadon’s sigil and annihilating them and recovering my energy, and the guys no longer come to bother me, and I feel more complete.
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If they come back, aren´t those “parts” actually part of your unconsciousness?
So that would mean that instead of deleting them, you should shadow work to integrate them to be complete.
What you are describing is what I see as a form of fragmentation of your consciousness. Usually some sort of instance in your formative years made a big impact and kind of freezes a part of your psyche. When you are triggered by something then whatever is stored about those instances is what reacts. Not sure if that is what actually happening psychologically speaking. But approaching it like that has helped me a lot.
It can be from highly traumatic to just simply your neighbour shouting at you about something when you were a kid, which might’ve startled you at the time.
I wouldn’t say they’re alters. More like automatic or subconscious responses to certain triggers caused by unsolved issues. I think it’s important to realize that. I don’t think it gets solved by just blindly trying to eliminate them. The issues will still remain and possibly return after a while.
The way I’ve dealt with some of those is by first acknowledging the issues. Allowing myself to fully and consciously feel what is happening physically and mentally during those responses in ritual trance, so I can reckognize them when they happen in daily life. Then trying to find out what might have caused that fragmentation. Only after that I’ve turned to spirits like Abaddon for help with annihilating parts of my personality and subconscious that serve no apparant constructive purpose. In that case I do visualize them as separate shadow puppets.
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