I was watching Praveen Mohan on YouTube. He has videos on ancient temples are the globe. He pieces together information from his vast wealth of knowledge, but never oversteps himself. Asking lots of questions, and leaving it up for others to assist him.
He had a video featuring prehistoric cave paintings. He said one of the images, hey you might like this, one of the images resembled a damaru Lord Shiva’s favorite instrument. (Type Shiva Drum Music on Youtube, click the first one) …but it also looked like dagaz! How 'bout that? Anyway, that got me learning about the damaru, (I bought one too! Its in the mail) which lead to me learning about Lord Shiva. I’ve been singing the Shiva mantra for a couple weeks now & it really lifts me up! I feel closest to Lord Shiva at this time, as I have been singing his matra every damn day. “Om Namah Shivaya! Om Namah Shivaya! Har Har Bhole Namah Shivaya!” (Yes yes, I know I just typed Bhole but its not pronounced that way. Haha we’re eleven.)
Then I found out something incredible. I feel compelled to make a video about it. It’s fascinating how everything ties together. I’m gonna be cryptic & leave it at that. You’ll find out more when I make the video.
Then our beloved friend, Mr.Koetting went live on the 'Tube yesterday, I guess technically two days ago now. I asked him what mantra he uses with his mala beads, he said “Om Kali Ma” at first, than other commands and mantras as he sees fit. I’m very grateful for that imput. After the live stream I started reading about Kali & it hit me like a sack of potatoes. Because we all know what that feels like, language is weird. I’ve always seen myself as a Lightbearer. I still do actually, but now I can see I’m also emulating the Kali archtype.
As I’ve said in my intial post, I have a reputation. People dont really know me, but they have heard rumors. The ol’ “if they cant control you, they’ll control how others see you” song and dance. Former colleagues of mine from comedy. When I got off the streets I got a home downtown again. I see those mooks all over town. Every time, same response. They either disappear the second they see me or if they dont have time to make tracks, they look down as they pass. Never looking me in the eye. A very shameful stance, & rightly so in my opinion. I’m hesitant to share my thoughts on that- last time it came with some seriously harsh repercussions. Basically it’s the Kali archtype. I see through the theater of their behavior like a glass. I see the lies they dont care to admit, and I reject them without remorse. I will not accept substitutions. Come at me real, or dont even bother. I’m not one to pander.
I’ve been learning about Lucifer for about 14 years now. Dunno if anybody has heard of Aaron C Donahue, but thats where I started. A few years ago I found EA’s video where he invoked Lucifer in the desert and Lucifer gave the viewer a spell to figure out which spiritual familiar he has bestowed upon them. I did that encantation. I dont feel its anybody’s business who I was directed to.
Who am I drawn to the most? Myself of course. I am the master of my world, first and foremost. That said, of course I look to Lucifer for guidance (for lack of a better word). The goetia interests me a great deal, actually thats how I came to be Luciferian.
My Grandmother died when I was in my early twenties. At the time I was researching demons and wearing an Amon hoodie, I also wore a Furfur shirt. I felt odd having that stuff around. Seems like a lifetime ago honestly, Ive been through so much since then. I decided to be Christian, I was kinda in a weird spot for a week or two. I kept researching demons but from Solomon’s take on them. The second I learned about his magick triangle I tapped out and went back to my original beliefs. Fuck that in the butt crack to the nut sack, you know what I sayin?
That’s about it. I have read about Ma’at just a bit, and I see her words are well writren. Better than the ten commandments or the 9 Satanic sins and 11 Satanic virtues. We can get into that too if you’d like.
So yeah, thats about it as far as I can recount. Hope that clears things up for you. Thank you for taking an interest in my story. I feel welcome here, which doesnt sound like much but its a big deal on my end, so thank you.
