As much as I was supposed to keep silent, I have been shown that my last meeting with Musta through PM was no accident, and that this was not only directed to him because, “Azazel told me to”. But Azazel directed him to me. And as trippy as that is to you, it’s something he told me also.
That is part of the reason I’m going to speak out, because soon I will be silent.
But, I am going to continue to make posts that are relevant as long as I’m here, and this Saturn working has huge relevance to a lot of you, and what you are all doing, so it is perhaps a mirror for your own journey in some way strange way that is becoming incredibly obvious about prophesied events.
This is to grace this thread, and it’s from a discussion we had in regards to the Saturn working.
This also servse as a warning to some extent.
I felt like this working revealed evermore to me that this sphere has some very very deep mysteries that as my ancestors say “without the help of the dead you can get extremely ungrounded in” I only give this out, as warning because my ritual tonight perhaps showed me that working with these forces can easily do this even if you don’t start with that intention.
These rituals can make you incredibly comfortable with dark things especially if you employ them for your benefit and ASK!!! When I called Azazel’s aid in giving blood for this rite, I asked for a painless way of doing this. He said I would have a near painful experience, but I would get a taste of something I’ve been questing for from another entity I’m probably going to start working again very shortly. The pain was necessary, it was supposedly part of the process according to him.
Let’s just say this is part of a secretive tradition but, this entity bites the skin, and it has a little bit of pain, but an orgasmic level of pleasure is delivered. let’s just say, I felt him come in through the ancestor gate into my body, and as soon as the blade broke through all the layers of skin…I was shuddering in a dark orgasmic ecstasy, that literally made me step back and calm down for a moment it’s easy to get lost in the pleasure of this, instantly thought of memories of a girl I had a very intense but brief stint knowing. One night, we were doing drugs in a public place together, snorting a good deal of Ketamine, and she was making out with me quite a bit. As I got frisky with her and we started doing more drugs together, this girl was talking incessantly about how she’d cut to get this exact kind of orgasmic sexual feeling, and it just turned her on to such an extent, she could not stop telling me how she cut herself all the fucking time. How sometimes, she did it, just to get off…I’ve never heard a cutter talk about cutting like this, and it was one of the few times I’ve ever heard about cutting talked about in an erotic and fulfilling way. She said this, as I got really sexual with her in what I did. I’m going to be careful about saying any more about this experience, except that I did used to live my life in a very different manner than I do now. However, I feel like, that same sensation she described that night, was something I have intimate knowledge of through gnosis.
Once you get this going, I have found, it can get wayyyyyyy more intense if you only let it. This is a huge deal for so many reasons. I asked Azazel to “make me comfortable” with this, and I’m a person who’s normally very very uncomfortable about bloodletting, because I was in a situation where I was loosing blood and literally died for two minutes and this was witnessed by many people, I’ve had a very uncomfortable experience doing that for any reason…Until tonight. I can’t stop thinking about that girl, and wondering if she’s just remembering that she touched this magick in the past and isn’t even aware of it. Most cutters are sad or mentally strained people…Even people who cut for blood in ritual are usually those who are serious, often have no problem because of the raw power it can easily lend to the ritual (it can). This person doing it literally turned me on, and even with my fetishes, I consider her love for blood pretty extreme how she obsessed about it. I’m not normally into that, but the way she described it was so dark and hypnotic and orgasmic, and it’s exactly what I touched though Azazel and the forces of Saturn.
This is one thing where I thought, it would be a great idea to harness this kind of power, but I feel like a snake shedding his skin. My assumptions of what this ritual was going to be like, were clearly smashed, and I feel like this has set in motion a chain of events for transformation within my own life. I’ve given blood and sealed it with finger prints on the sigil. I’ve used it for other things. I’m not afraid to say I cut myself multiple times for that ritual, and that’s something I never would have expected to do.
I was reluctant to even take my blood once, but I was told this would be necessary to the ritual, and when I expressed that I had fear about this situation, Saturn responded with “that ends here tonight”.
I find that to be a small statement compared to what happened in a way that I found, mysterious, seductive, dangerous, and incredibly dark, powerful, and creepy in a way that all of it happens in a way that is totally unnatural, and that feels absolutely okay and that everything is as it should be. It is the perverse miracle, the one where darkness and forbidden things happen not only counter to the contrary, in a way that is totally normal and detached from any real consequence.
There is an unholy trinity, through which much can be revealed about Saturn.
Through death and the forbidden, the keys the the mysteries are revealed.
Things will be destroyed and transformed, first within, and then without.
That was the message I received from my ritual, after analyzing my mistakes and what happened in result. I hope Azazel’s teachings and the advice of the dead help you in traversing this sphere.
You are already god,