A bit of news

Within the past week, I’ve managed to do four meditations. The process is simple. First, I perform the Hecate circle casting ritual in Jason Miller’s book on Protection and Reversal Magick. Second, I perform the elemental pillar meditation in his “Sorcerer’s Secret” book.

I should’ve been doing this years ago, but for me very few things are consistent. At least stuff that moves me forward. But I’m trying to do better.

Ideally, I would be doing this once a night. But I’m back in school, and my classes start at 8. I have to get up at 7, when I’m used to getting up at 11. That’s not the worst thing one can be doing with their lives, but I do feel as if it’s pathetic. The point is, on a school night, I tend to put off the ritual.

I think I remember reading a post 1 or 2 years ago about someone doing a 30 day practice with the Drakonian Ritual book. According to the post, the result was that women found him irresistible or something. I think someone else said that women would have dreams about them after talking to them. If any of you are around, I’d like for you to DM and help me follow in your footsteps.

Ideally, my goal is to develop my spiritual senses. In all honesty, I’m not sure if I know what I’m doing. Suppose I get involved with chemistry or engineering. My brother does these things, so he and I are like opposites. If I do an experiment or design a project, I’d be able to perceive the outcome. With magick, it’s different. I do rituals for myself (and family), and so far I haven’t gotten the results I want. Though when I do rituals for people outside of the family, with permission I might add, they come back to tell me things have worked out. Years ago, I was being interviewed for a job. The interviewer told me his wife has cancer. I’m not sure why or how we got to that, but I drew up the sigil to Raphael and told him what to do with it. He disappeared shortly after. Then after a few months, he came back and told me she’s cured. I cannot confirm the result, but I don’t think he’d have a reason to lie to me. It was an odd mix of elated pride and confused frustration. I had a hand in curing someone of cancer, but I can’t move my own life forward? What makes matters worse is that they tend to disappear straight after. And he really could’ve helped me out in the job. Corporate liked to shuffle management around like a shell game. Some were completely terrible, forcing the employees to pick up the slack for their ineptitude. Any that did good were transferred, and being replaced with some dick who undid whatever good was done.

If I could develop spiritual senses, I could hopefully be able to tell if a ritual is working or if I’m just reciting poetry to a statue in the dark. Or I could commune with spirits to learn greater truths. Eventually, I want to astral project and at least see if there’s any other world outside of this one.
Though, a bit of luck with the ladies would be nice. In fact, I feel as if if I could get more of that, I’d be able to concentrate on other things. And frankly, I feel as if it’s better if getting female attention is more of a side effect to something else than a direct intention to one’s actions. As in, I’d rather do something towards an intended goal which inadvertently attracts that attention. Two birds, one stone I guess.

The meditative practice is very recent, and I feel as if I need to stick to it for a bit before I try anything else. Part of the reason I’m so inconsistent with things is because I have a habit of being curious and wanting to try out the next thing before I master the first. Part of that is I eventually start to question whether what I’m doing is what I need to do. But if anyone has anything to say about the specific practice I spoke about above, or if anyone has some better suggestions, I’d love to hear it. If the people who wrote about the Drakonian Ritual thing sees this, I’d be happy to speak to you.

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Hi Jayden,

Just read your post. Its very interesting that you are not getting any results back but you are helping others. Its funny because just today I was thinking about what it would be like for a magician to take up the practice of helping people like a saint…

My own opinion and this is just an opinion but you could be assigned to Earth to be a healer. To do good for others while not seeking the greater rewards. Seems to be your powers are leaning in that direction…

I think that eventually you will do things like astral projection and learning knowledge but always remember that there is soul agreements in place for each person before they were even born…whatever the universe wills you will prosper in. Some magick will work for some and not for others - unless you really push the boat out and break universal boundaries but even then that holds unexpectated consequences…

My advice is feel your power and what it resonates towards. What gives you strength. Follow that and eventually all will fall into place.

FUCK THE EARTH THEN! Sorry, but I believe my life is my own and only I should be able to decide how it’s to be lived. I left behind all manner of mainstream belief systems, both religious and political, because I got tired of being told that I gotta do this or that for others while my interests and needs don’t matter.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to help when I can. But my resources are limited, and my needs are great. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to expect to get something from this world and have my needs and desires be met or recognized. It’s not like I’m wanting to hurt people or are gain at their expense. I’m fine with helping people if it helps me out too. I’d actually say that’s the ideal. Though, I can understand that the world doesn’t always work like that. Just because you are doing something nice for someone doesn’t entitle you to any sort of payment. But that also means they aren’t entitled to your services. If my prosperity isn’t guaranteed in this world, other people’s problems shouldn’t be more responsibility. I should be allowed to work and fight to satisfy my wants and needs (within reason of course), and live my own life on my my terms based on my resources. In short, to tell me that it’s my job to help people and ask for nothing in return is nothing short of telling me that I don’t matter as a person. And to do so would make someone both a thief and a tyrant. They’re a murderer too if they tell me to sacrifice my life.

Desire. The innate desire of sentient beings, whether it be carnal or noble (related to base instincts or higher aspirations), is the only thing that causes anything to happen outside of the clockwork mechanizations of what might call the natural world. Any great accomplishment (or infamous atrocity) within the human sphere happened because someone desired it and competed with both man and God to achieve it. To me, that is the nature of being human.

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This is your problem Jaden. You are desperate and getting both angry and frustrated. The spiritual world can sense that and this is why you are getting no real results. Sure, it is understandable that you want to achieve great things but remember - if you go in with utter madness and frustration, you wont be getting any honey. None whatsoever.

What you need to do is calm down. Your magick is going to work eventually but for now listen to the Earth. Be grateful you can do good works. You want to become a living god, right? Well you are becoming one already…

If I was you - medititate on what you are doing wrong. Be thankful for your gifts and think deeply on WHY you deserve a better life. That is the key here. WHY. Maybe that is what spirit is wanting you to do? Ask the WHY rather then being arrogant and demanding.

I get a feeling once you get all of these practices into place, you will start to get the rewards. Eventually. Otherwise thats the best I can offer you.

No offense, but everything you’re saying I feel is off topic.

Sure, I admit my last post was aggressive. But in the original, I gave a clear idea of what my intentions are, who I’m working with to accomplish them, and what books and exercises I’m using to do it. But what you suggested was so far from the direction I’m trying to go, it’s like you’re offering me an apple when I’m say I’m looking for an orange. I’m not sure where you’re getting the idea of me being a saint and why you think I should “listen to the earth” when I haven’t said a thing that even suggests that’s where I’m going.

Yes, there have been times when I’ve used magick to help others, but they were all motivated by some self-interest. With the interviewer, I was just showing off. And with the most recent person, I was trying to get lucky. And even WHEN I use magick to help someone, it’s with discretion because I know I’m intervening in someone else’s life without too much knowledge of what they’re dealing with or need. I can easily make matters worse, so I prefer not to make a habit of it. Hell, I prefer to teach them how to use magic themselves, or suggest books they can read on their own.

What bothers me is when someone comes in and tells me that someone else gets to decide what I’m supposed to do with my life, and that I need to be grateful for what I have when they don’t know what I go through. To me, that’s not only sanctimonious, but actually insulting. I got a lot of that when I was in the church, and frankly it’s a mindset that can lead to abuse. So, sorry for being triggered.

Right now, I’m just trying to develop a social life and party. And if one god, goddess, or spirit won’t help me, I’ll find one that will.