I’m a 22 year-old college student who likes to study subjects regarding the occult and various kinds of magick in my spare time. My hobbies are primarily drawing, making music, gaming, and occasionally writing (big warning: I love to write a lot!). I began getting into spiritual things such as Third Eye Chakra meditation around late middle school, which pretty much kickstarted my interest in the occult later on.

Approximately a year from the date I joined this forum, I became deeply fascinated with the “darker side” of things (aka the LHP), studying black magick and demons more than white magick. I was born into and raised with Catholic beliefs and values, yet the idea of dabbling with the occult did not scare me despite the big “no witchcraft” rule of the Bible. There was a rebel within me that felt a different calling, and she simply craved more and more as time went on.

Over the course of a few months, a conflicting increase in both my faith in God and my desire to follow a different path led to a feeling of being like a rope in a game of “tug-o-war”. In May 2018, I became a confirmed Catholic because the household I live in has very religious family members that urged me to go through the confirmation process; I exactly forced, but declining it would raise high suspicions.

Because I did not own a physical deck of tarot cards at the time (I currently own 2), I kept a digital one using an app that has given me very accurate readings to this day. Even the “cards of the day” I drew were referencing walking a different path, shaking off what doesn’t resonate completely with me and following what does for the sake of trying something new. They may have been subtly hinting at a “rebirth” of my spiritual self.

Shortly after becoming a confirmed Catholic, I made the decision to no longer participate in my mental tug-of-war and went with what I resonated with; I chose to walk the LHP. I started to feel drawn to Lucifer the most out of all the beings I’ve researched, and have been having more frequent dreams about him since choosing this new path. I continue to play the paper of the good and wholesome Catholic girl in the house I live in while all occult “contraband” I own and evocations I perform remain out of sight.