I’m a woman. I grew up in the midwest, but moved to the east coast after grad school. After losing everything due to discrimination, I eventually moved west hoping my luck would change. I’m not noticing any difference.

I’ve never been lucky in love. I’ve also been unlucky in my career. I’m on my 3rd career, which wound up what I could do to pay bills (barely) thanks to countless layoffs in tech. In a year of living in Colorado I finally have dates, but most aren’t my type. In 5 months I’ve had my heart devastated twice though. Life feels as if I’m doing nothing but banging myself against a wall.

I’ve been studying the occult off and on for many years. I’m unable to truly connect with spirits, which makes me feel hopeless. Honestly, I’ve never felt I fit in anywhere. I have done love spells which never worked. The 1 thing I’ve always wanted is a love that’s actually reciprocated from a man I love. It never happens and I wind up loving them more than they love me. I’ve had too many boyfriends to count. It makes me cry thinking about all the men I loved so much, but they didn’t think I was worth the effort. An astrologer once said there was a bloodline curse for the women in my family and after all my efforts to find someone, it’s probably true. I don’t know anyone that’s tried as hard as me and wound up with nobody.

I’ve also done candle magic to get jobs. However, I still get laid off because I can only find contract work. I’m exhausted constantly starting over and I’m too old and too educated to not have health insurance.

The 2 areas I wish I could pull together are love & job stability. If I had those 2 things fixed, I would finally enjoy my life.