have you thought about talking to your daughter? educating? asking what she wants in a friend ? stimulate her mind with questions so that she can brainstorm about what she wants in a friend. Associates friends and those she meet as a bridge that can help her future as a resource. matters who you know and let her know that surrounding good people help future.
communicate and spend time with her. educate not tell. do not cast spells on her. she too young.
the reason people hang out with bad people because they feel some of their needs are met. usually it’s acceptance and no judgements .
if you want her to improve mental health. learning neurolinguistic programming ( NLP ) might help her with that. it teachers you how the brain process information , how to control emotions . Basically instruction manual for the brain/mind.
If studying isn’t her style. she can do hands on approach. learn tai chi. it affect all areas of life if practice regularly.
I have actually done most of what you mention. She insists that she chooses the friends she does because she needs to be around other people with mental issues. I currently have her in therapy every week with dbt therapy and work closely with the school staff on her school issues. It has come to this as a last resort. I am casting spelks to help her not hurt her because Ive already tried everything I can humanly do.
Have you thought about a servitor? You could program it to help lead your daughter towards the type of people you’d rather she be around and lead her away from those you don’t. May take some work and adjustments, but you’d be in control of it.
If she says she needs to be around people with mental issues, that’s not a good belief to have. that kinda falls in line with i have to be around people just like me. that’s not a resourceful state to have. That just tells me she wants acceptance even if it’s not good for her. you know how it is. kids do drugs or smoke for acceptance. that’s how they get addicted. It has to do with approval rather than having a friend. Its not easy to be different and by self so she’s just trying to fit in.
maybe get her some books on nlp so that she can learn herself. sometimes kids don’t like being told what to do with their life. create an environment or introduce hobbies so that she thinks she is doing them cuz she wants to not cuz you want her to.
she’s looking outsider herself for approval. For her issues, she should be exploring herself independent of other’s view.
Learning nlp will also help her school studies. If one learn well how the mind works, it teaches on about concentration and focus and that affect memory skills/recall skills of stuff she study.
She can have friends like her but she can also have friends that are not. Expose her to different people types so she can see how they can help her. Of course it may be challenging to find someone to accept her issues. It’s about expanding her exposure to other things instead of her boxing herself up to what’s familiar. this way it expand her mind potential.
I definitely agree with all of the above, she needs friends who aren’t like her to balance her out and not feed the negative behavior. I will look into the nlp, thank you for the response.
Duchess/Duke Astaroth is known for being amazing with friendships and I believe is even the Priestess of Friendship in a certain demonology hierarchy. You know, assuming you have taken all physical and mental measures possible first.
The illusion of “support” from being around others with the same issues, where secretly it can become a competition to become the most extreme/fucked up/sick (etc), is a modern catastrophe for a lot of troubled young people.
Least controversially (for now) it’s seen in communities around eating disordered behaviour, where people learn new pathological behaviours from one another, spur each other on, form a community that obsesses upon the very thing they could do with thinking about a lot less (weight, body image, food) and almost always, compete to be the most damaged, simultaneously crying “we’d never wish this on anyone!!1!” - whilst basing their entire personal identity upon it, and defending it as a culture in its own right.
You could try speaking to her Higher Self and asking them to make conditions and guide her to insights that modelling healthy behaviours would be better for her. The simplest way to do that, is to adapt this advice I gave someone to your circs:
I will beg your attention to this very strong caution though:
when dealing with anyone’s HS, even your own child, treat them with respect and keep a certain distance, make your case and then try to resist ongoing contact with the HS unless you are asked, by the HS, to contact them more often, or unless you have a compelling reason to remain in contact.
They’re not on our plane for a reason, and interacting too much is not advisable, in general.
But a few carefully chosen contacts, to state your case and ask their assistance, should be completely possible and safe.
you gotta educate her that her mental illness is not her. It’s not an identity. that’s is one major problem most people have. They identify that they are some kind of problem base on their addiction or label illness. It’s one of the major blocks for people moving on.
for example those that do drugs. they own that drug addict label so it reinforce the behavior. they are not their behavior. drug addict is just a person who at the point in time uses drugs uncontrollably. They are not that label. they are just doing that behavior. distinction matters. That’s why i hate the psychology field. they label too much all kinds of illness and the client take that identity rather than seeing that label as descriptions of symptoms. They are not that label or identity. You have to get that major point across to her. This way she won’t be limited to the labels or put herself in box of that label.
Most people who have mental illness would think they are mental rather than they having certain mental process issues. Not good to think your mental. As it can be excuse for all kinds of things if she’s prone to negative thinking. Need to reframe the issues so that she don’t see it as Identity.
I second this and agree. I recently contacted the HS of my son’s father after zero contact for months. The relationship was volatile and full of contempt. When I made contact with his HS the first time, HS was defensive and annoyed, asked me what I wanted and when I told him I came in peace, he eased up and relaxed. I stated my case and left him alone. The second time he was more welcoming and explained his side of things, agreed to do better and that was it. In mundane life we’re talking again, and taking baby steps.
I do agree evoking their Highet Self helps, but shouldn’t be done on a regular basis.
Can we not just dismiss science here? Mental illness is brain chemistry. Sure some people exaggerate it but let’s not just say it doesn’t exist. That’s so incredibly disrespectful.
I’m not dismissing science. That’s is science. The description of whatever they have is not the person. It’s very respectful. To label someone an identity of illness is disrespectful. In this case, she’s a person. she’s not the illness. I think your not understanding the message.
Also , not all so called labels are valid. If you reallly study the history and the field which i do. You would know most are fake labels to make money of drug dependency. I’m not saying organic issues affecting mind process don’t exist. Even if they do exist, my message is still valid. They are not the label.
All psychologist would agree she is not the identity of the mental illness. That is what i am suggesting to the mom.
She is not the identity clearly but it sounded like you’re trying to completely dismiss the fact that people are genuinely mentally ill. I’ll agree with you that people shouldn’t make it their entire being but you can’t just say if they think they’re not then they aren’t. I have ADHD and until I acknowledged it I suffered. Now that I know I have it I was able to actually do something about it. There’s nothing wrong with recognizing mental illness. Realization is the first step.
I agree with you here. My son has adhd and knowing that means we can do things to help him cope, to learn how to deal with it, how to take action to be a better person…
Its not any different than me having asthma. I know what my triggers are and how to avoid them and how to minimize the affects on my life as much possible. If I refused to acknowledge that I have asthma, I could not do that…
Being the disease, allowing it to run your life and having the disease are not the same thing.
Dantalion is actually who I’ve been thinking about contacting. I also want to look into getting her back into martial arts classes and help her apply for jobs this week. I’m hoping that maybe if she’s busy enough she won’t have very much time for these little punks.
where did i say one don’t recognize mental illness? don’t put your misunderstanding to be what i’m saying.
Many descriptions are not proper labels if you really want to get into the meat of the field. there’s tons of misdiagnosing labels and i know it from real life experience of those i work with. It’s about proper treatment for whatever they have. Wrong labels can cripple the person for life. I study hypnosis professionally and terminology is very limiting if not properly use.
