Two weeks ago I did an invocation of Marbas and Azazel at the same time. I set up the ritual like normal, gave offerings, called them forth,etc. The ritual was successful and I believe two days later I burnt the sigil and thanked them.
After the ritual I had felt that I could not think properly, like a haze that you get when you are tired. I thought I was just that and needed some sleep. But after a few days of this I realized that it was not going away. Then things got worse. I started to lose interest in all things which I had previously cared about (hobbies, hanging out with friends). I struggled to find motivation to meditate and eat. Then I even started to doubt whether or not I can complete my purpose in life, or even if it is my purpose. Now I feel physically sick, achey, exceedingly tired, and nauseous.
I don’t know what’s happening to me. I have about a year of experience in magick, and have trusted Azazel deeply. Marbas I had gotten to know about the last month. I asked them for basic things such as wisdom and empowerment in any way they see fit. I just can’t understand how any of this is helping me, or even if it is them. Has a parasitic spirit done something? Have I angered them in some way? What is happening to me?
While you’re doing that, you have to make a plan to answer each of the questions you have identified in turn. When you have eliminated what the answer isn’t, you’ll be closer to finding out what it is.
Since you don’t talk about your spiritual hygiene, parasitic attack seems likely, so I’d say start there.
Scan yourself, use divination and do a thorough banishing and cleansing of yourself and your house, followed by warding to protect your person, your spirit and your spaces, then take stock and see how you feel.
Basic rituals aren’t going to anger gods of the caliber you are contacting. If it’s not parasites it could be you built up a good amount of energy and you weren’t used to it. Your body just needs to recover maybe.
Invocation takes the energetic pattern of another being and brings it into your own patterns and fields which can be quite strenuous at best. Doing two at once you likely damaged your own aura by jamming too much inside of yourself at once and these fields and patterns are what govern a lot about your mental and physical health. Focus on taking a break from magical and mental work and instead direct your power inwards to heal and restore yourself. You have to either nurture enough of your energy within yourself and feed it to the damaged parts of yourself to heal or just wait for the damage to repair itself.
Welcome @shodburrito It is a rule of this forum for all new members to properly introduce themselves, so PLEASE CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW and tell us about yourself and any experience you may have in magick, such as what you practice, how long you have practiced, areas of interest, etc:
IDK I’ve evoked two at a time before and never got sick. I tend to agree w/ Maulbeere about the protection. I’d do a banishing asap. FYI and IMO, loosing interest in “hobbies, hanging out with friends” for a few weeks is quite normal for me. Furthermore—anytime I find myself sitting around thinking about “my purpose in life” I get the hell out of my house and my own head and do something fun!
