The Inner Grotto: longlostredemption's journal

ABOUT THE INNER GROTTO

The Inner Grotto is my digitized journal of agglomerated writings related to the occult. Carpal tunnel syndrome and de Quervain’s tenosynovytis were the great catalysts into finally creating it.

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DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL: HOW TO REPROGRAM OUR AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS. CBT/SHADOW WORK TUTORIAL.

I’ve struggled with mental health issues a great deal and have spent much time in introspective contemplation as I face my own ‘dark night of the soul’. I’ll try to explain my advice the best I can, but fair warning – I’m extremely sleep deprived at the moment, so if it isn’t entirely coherent I apologize in advance.

FACT: Emotions are the reactions to our thoughts.

Typically, this is how it goes:

  1. External event occurs.
  2. We automatically form a thought with our pre-conceived biases.
  3. We react emotionally to the thought or thoughts we had.
  4. We become aware of the feeling we just experienced and form another thought. This may lead to rumination.

If your automatic, pre-conceived thought is negative but realistic such as, “I impulsively bought new shoes I didn’t need the other day and now I’ve overdrafted my account. I am bad with money,” your reactive emotion may be sadness and self-disappointment. These would be healthy, negative emotions.

If your automatic, pre-conceived thought is negative but unrealistic such as, I impulsively bought new shoes the other day and now I’ve overdrafted my account. Why am I incapable of being an adult? This is why John left me. This is why everyone leaves me. They can see through to my core and see an endless black pit that only consumes. An emptiness that can never be satisfied and destroys everything it touches. Everybody would be better off if I just died…" your reactive emotions would be negative and unhealthy. Consumed by despair, anguish, pain, self-hatred, and stuck ruminating in a mental hellish loop.

So, how do we reprogram our automatic thoughts?

You’ll want to buy yourself a cheap notebook and a pen so you can record the following information down:

  1. This “Magic I Statement” formula. Write it somewhere you can easily flip back to reference it.

"I feel… emotion when I objective description of experience and I would like state what you want to happen instead."

  1. Record any external events you identify as the primary cause leading into one of these thought/reactionary emotion ruminating cycles.
  2. Ask yourself if your automatic thoughts are actually true and fair. If they are not, transform them using the “Magic I Statement” formula mentioned above and write them down like so.

"I feel ashamed and sad when I see that the scale reads 194 pounds and I would like to lose the weight and feel healthy again."

The biggest thing you need to remember is that yoo have power over your mind and not external events (with the exception of the few times you are working magick, but to be fair we are not constantly manipulating reality 100% of the time while living in the material world). When you stop trying to control everything so much, you’ll find more inner peace.

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KNOW THYSELF. SHADOW WORK EXERCISE.

“KNOW THYSELF.” This is one of the three famous Ancient Greek maxims inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi.

But what does it mean to ‘know thyself?’
Something that is not commonly well-known in modern western English countries with Christian populations is that – despite Christianity’s linguistics being heavily influenced by the Greek language through the early popular bible translation called the Septaugint, the English word ‘know’ comes from the Greek word ‘gnosis’, which meant knowledge. Gnosis actually has two types of meaning which did not transfer over well to English.

There was intellectual knowledge – e.g, “Have you ever heard of a place called New York?” // “Why, yes, I have. I’ve seen it on maps and have read history books regarding it as well.”

And then there was personally experienced knowledge – e.g. “I know shadow people actually exist and aren’t just Hollywood Halloween movie magic. I’ve seen them for years always gathering in groups in places where someone has tragically and suddenly died such as a car crash. Without me telling anyone my observations of them, I had someone describe aloud the exact thing I was seeing as they were oblivious I could see it too. I do not fully understand what they are, but I know they are real and that I am not delusional.”

We all think we know ourselves better than anyone else possibly could. But humans are unique creatures with the ability to lie to oneself. We will doubt ourselves entirely out of the personally experienced type of gnosis – not only regarding supernatural events but the true nature of ourselves as well.

If we were asked to make a list of our good qualities and another list of our bad qualities (spoiler alert: you will inevitably be asked this), some of us could come up with a list of bad points that could rival the length of a Walgreen’s receipt (and unfairly judging themselves too harshly). On the flipside, some others could create long lists of good points (and once again have it heavily biased with lots of imagination and wishful thinking). We can run off such lists so quickly and yet examine them so cursorily that they mean little.

Part of the problem is that lists like these divide a person’s nature into “good” and “bad”. People are not so simply dualistic and are more truly a sum of these on a spectrum of which cannot be divided. Some “good” aspects taken to extremes are very bad for a person. For example, a giving, selfless person may tend to give so much he has nothing left for himself to meet his own needs. He has always given away his time and money to those who needed help, but when his luck has turned and he suffers a health crisis, he has no financial security or friends that would aid him in the same way he had selflessly helped them. He loses his job, his home forecloses, and he cannot afford his medication.

Some “bad” aspects in appropriate measure are healthy and necessary. People view fear as something to be ashamed of and look disdainfully at those who show they are frightened. Fear can be a wonderful gift as it keeps you alert and can save you from falling prey into a cult that would try to brainwash you into not trusting your negative feelings. Fear can even save your life by giving you personally experienced gnosis that the man who everyone praises within your social circle as a good and trustworthy person who wants to take you on a date is someone you should avoid at all costs but cannot rationally explain why. You feel bad for being judgmental and shallow, but you cancel your date. A few days later you see him on the news as a murder suspect.

The ‘good’ and ‘bad’ qualities both blend within to make us who we are as individuals.

By acknowledging the good things in our lives that come from “bad” qualities or habits and discovering the amount of bad in our lives caused by our “good” qualities or habits, it makes us more aware of our true nature. This awareness helps us to take more conscious actions, to radically accept ourselves for who we are, and to become more balanced people. We accept that we are not perfect. We accept the “bad” instead of trying to hide and deny it-- instead, we can use it for the betterment of Self.

JOURNAL EXERCISES

  1. Make a list of your “good” qualities/habits/points and a separate list of your “bad” qualities/habits/points. Be honest as you’ll only be cheating yourself if you do not stick with the truth.

  2. For every “good” quality, describe how it could be or even has been a source of trouble in your life. For every “bad” quality, describe how it could or even has provided benefit to your life. Do this for every single one of the points you had generated from the previous exercise.

  3. Do you have your own inner philosophy? Do you live in accordance with it? If not, why? For example, if a belief deep down within the core of your being says that ‘the only true thing of value a man has in his life is his word’, you’re going to feel unsatisfied with yourself if you never keep your promises.

  4. Do you like yourself? Why or why not?

  5. Are you happy with your life? Why or why not? What do you think is necessary for someone to have a happy life?

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LONGLOSTREDEMPTION’S TAROT KEYWORDS

I’ve contemplated for a while whether I should sell my keywords or publish them freely. I’ve decided it would be better to have them available for public access as I’d rather have people empowered to help themselves than to feel extorted for help if their finances are too tight. I’m still eventually going to try to get my professional business off the ground someday, but for now I’m content continuing with charity readings and providing tarot-related advice for free to those that practice.

It took a lot of effort to come up with my own list that I felt good about and to be frankly honest, I feel like the court cards are rather lacking. If I ever get the time to revise those, I’ll update them here as well. In a different section, I’ll go over deck recommendations and how to create your own keywords for those wishing to learn how to read tarot as well. Enjoy.


The Minor Arcana
day-to-day actions and events; suits (pips) and courts
0 The Fool Upright: folly; beginnings; innocence
Reverse: naivety; carelessness; hesitation
I The Magician Upright: power; conscious mind; skill
Reverse: exploiter; powerless; unskilled
II The High Priestess Upright: secrets; intuition; subconscious mind
Reverse: ignoring intuition; denying spirituality; shallowness
III The Empress Upright: fertility; abundance; mothering
Reverse: smothering; domestic problems; unproductive
IV The Emperor Upright: authority; fathering; structure
Reverse: indecisive; domination; powerlessness
V The Hierophant Upright: conforming; beliefs; education
Reverse: peremptory; non-conformity; questioning status quo
VI The Lovers Upright: choice; union; love
Reverse: lack of communication; division; imbalance
VII The Chariot Upright: self-control; victory; travel
Reverse: poor self-discipline; delays; pushy
VIII Strength Upright: inner strength; patience; courage
Reverse: self-doubt; unfocused; surrender
IX The Hermit Upright: introspection; solitude; inner wisdom
Reverse: feeling lost; self-unaware; unsocial
X Wheel of Fortune Upright: fate; good luck; turning point
Reverse: bad luck; setbacks; disappointments
XI Justice Upright: cause and effect; morality; justice
Reverse: injustice; lack of accountability; bureaucracy frustrations
XII The Hanged Man Upright: sacrifice; different perspective; letting go
Reverse: selfishness; closed-minded; wasting time
XIII Death Upright: transformations; endings; change
Reverse: refusal to move on; fear of change; difficulties grieving
XIV Temperance Upright: moderation; balance; combining
Reverse: discord; imbalance; excess
XV The Devil Upright: bondage; materialism; addiction
Reverse: narrow escape; breaking free; asceticism
XVI The Tower Upright: upheaval; revelation; destruction
Reverse: hidden truths; ignoring revelations; secured lies
XVII The Star Upright: hope; renewal; serenity
Reverse: suspension; pessimism; despair
XVIII The Moon Upright: illusion; fear; subconscious
Reverse: chaos; mental blockage; dark intentions
XIX The Sun Upright: vitality; joy; success
Reverse: lethargy; depression; poor logic
XX Judgement Upright: accountability; rebirth; absolution
Reverse: irresponsibility; unresolved problems; clinging onto old ways
XXI The World Upright: completion; travel; expert
Reverse: incompletion; standstill; fake guru
The Minor Arcana
day-to-day actions and events; suits (pips) and courts
Wands
fire; creativity and energy
Ace Upright: creativity; spark of energy; confidence
Reverse: uninspired; fizzled out; doubt
Two Upright: planning; personal power; merging
Reverse: poor planning; indecision; disagreement
Three Upright: expansion; foresight; cooperation
Reverse: setbacks; lack of foresight; unreliable
Four Upright: stability; celebration; marriage
Reverse: instability; inattention; domestic problems
Five Upright: conflict; competing ideas; ignoring other views
Reverse: negotiating; harmony; communication
Six Upright: victory; recognition; pride
Reverse: lack of acknowledgment; shame; delayed success
Seven Upright: facing fears; competition; stand your ground
Reverse: overwhelmed; giving up; lack of courage
Eight Upright: quick action; communication; progress
Reverse: restrictions; delays; confusion
Nine Upright: resilience; perseverance; vigilance
Reverse: unobservant; fatigue; insecure
Ten Upright: burden; over-comcommitment; stress
Reverse: learning to say no; burnout; taking on too much
Page Upright: free spirit; enthusiastic; creative
Reverse: inhibited; directionless; uncreative
Knight Upright: impulsive; energetic; journey
Reverse: indecisive; lethargic; delays
Queen Upright: charming; gregarious; ambitious
Reverse: aggressive; bossy; vindictive
King Upright: executive; leader; caring
Reverse: ruthless; domineering; ineffectual
Cups
water; emotions and relationships
Ace Upright: spirituality; intuition; emotions
Reverse: worldly; blocked intuition; emotional upsets
Two Upright: harmony; relationship; affinity
Reverse: discord; incompatible; lacking empathy
Three Upright: celebration; community; friendship
Reverse: over-indulgence; feeling disconnected; broken friendships
Four Upright: self-absorbed; dissatisfied with life; taking something forgranted
Reverse: radical acceptance; considerate; missed opportunity
Five Upright: loss; grief; regrets
Reverse: reunion; moving on; forgiveness
Six Upright: nostalgia; giving and receiving; reunion
Reverse: bad memories; independence; cutting ties
Seven Upright: wishful thinking; temptations; choices
Reverse: realistic thinking; missed opportunity; dedication
Eight Upright: life changes; walking away; deeper meaning
Reverse: stagnation; denial; overwhelming emotions
Nine Upright: satisfaction; wish fulfillment; pleasure
Reverse: self-entitled; anhedonia; unrealized dreams
Ten Upright: family; joy; peace
Reverse: relationship strife; disruption; dissatisfaction
Page Upright: imaginative; compassionate; artistic
Reverse: creative block; emotionally immature; wasted talents
Knight Upright: idealistic; romantic; peaceful
Reverse: unrealistic; deceptive; too passive
Queen Upright: intuitive; loving; reserved
Reverse: codependent; unreliable; emotionally insecure
King Upright: adviser; diplomat; stimulating conversationalist
Reverse: manipulative; unethical; biased
Swords
air; intellect and action
Ace Upright: mental acuity; determination; power
Reverse: confusion; aimlessness; abuse of power
Two Upright: stalemate; emotionally guarded; avoiding truth
Reverse: uncomfortable decision; emotionally overwhelmed; painful truth
Three Upright: heartbreak; painful separation; betrayal
Reverse: denial; prolonged grief; healing
Four Upright: rest; recuperate; peace
Reverse: restlessness; prolonged ailments; anxiety
Five Upright: self-interest; defeat; dishonorable
Reverse: compromise; surrender; mistrust
Six Upright: starting over; travel; recovering from painful emotions
Reverse: feeling stuck; delay in travel; overwhelmed
Seven Upright: deception; ethical dilemma; “lone-wolf” mentality
Reverse: actions backfiring; conscientious; developing a healthy outlook
Eight Upright: restriction; incapacitated; entrapment
Reverse: freedom; reclaiming personal power; dangerous situation
Nine Upright: anguish; anxiety; guilt
Reverse: improved mood; forgiveness; seeking help
Ten Upright: ruin; final ordeal; lesson learned
Reverse: improving situation; recovery; victim mentality
Page Upright: inquisitive; truthful; vigilant
Reverse: liar; defensive; backstabber
Knight Upright: blunt; fearless; action-oriented
Reverse: reckless; tactless; bully
Queen Upright: insightful; intelligent; independent
Reverse: opinionated; hypercritical; cruel
King Upright: leader; logical; impartial
Reverse: heartless; exploitive; censorship
Pentacles
earth; material and finances
Ace Upright: resources; potential prosperity; practicality
Reverse: scarcity; lost opportunity; impractical
Two Upright: flexibility; balance; prioritizing
Reverse: rigid; disproportional; taking on too much
Three Upright: collaboration; using talents; progress
Reverse: no team spirit; not employing talents; lack of progress
Four Upright: frugal; possessiveness; fear of loss
Reverse: generosity; overspending; reckless
Five Upright: loss; poverty; worry
Reverse: overly materialistic; improving circumstances; improved outlook
Six Upright: charity; generosity; compassion
Reverse: social indifference; greed; hindered help
Seven Upright: assessment; seeing results; determining course of action
Reverse: impatience; rash decisions; keeping ineffective methods
Eight Upright: apprenticeship; dedication; meticulousness
Reverse: carelessness; disinterest; slacker
Nine Upright: sophistication; financial security; self-reliant
Reverse: financial hardships; keeping up with the Joneses; putting on airs
Ten Upright: wealth; sharing family values; stability
Reverse: family disputes; loss; instability
Page Upright: studious; down-to-earth; steady
Reverse: lack of focus; rebellious; closed-minded
Knight Upright: methodical; persistent; conservative
Reverse: idleness; boring; unreliable
Queen Upright: motherly; practical; homemaker
Reverse: materialistic; untrusting; insecure
King Upright: honorable; financially stable; conservative
Reverse: swindler; materialistic; financially unstable
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Wow, thank you so much for this. This is really generous of you.

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Thank you dear sister, I received my own tarot deck not to long ago, and I can’t express how greatfull to you for this, you are the Queen of swords

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I WANT TO LEARN TAROT. HOW DO I START?

Congratulations on your choice to begin learning the art of divination using tarot cards! It’s a hobby with a very enthusiastic base and I hope you find it just as enjoyable.

CHOOSING A DECK
  1. You will want to make sure you are selecting a tarot deck and not a similar divination deck such as oracle, lenormand, or cartomancy decks. A tarot deck typically contains 22 major arcana (trump) cards and 56 minor arcana (pips and courts) cards for a total of 78 with the divination meanings being generally consistent across all decks within this system, even if individual card titles differ occasionally.

  2. There is a popular myth out there that one has to be gifted a tarot deck. This is complete bullshit. Same with other superstitions about needing to be cleansed in moonlight, never letting other people touch your cards (you shouldn’t because people are gross with disgustingly sticky unidentified substances on their fingers and not because they’ll somehow permanently taint the energy of your deck forever no matter the amount of cleansing), etc.

The one superstition I’d say that’s actually a really good fucking idea is Lady Eva’s suggestion about storing in metal when not in use. I store mine in a drawstring pouch and place inside one of those vintage tin school lunch boxes.

  1. Be wary of pirated decks. These tend to be counterfeits printed in China. They used to be mostly seen only on EBay, but have become a growing issue on more reputable markets such as Amazon. Pirated decks not only wrongly steal profit from the artists who created these decks, but they also tend to negatively impact the consumers who purchase them as the quality is subpar: offset images, thinner cardstock, less vivid colors, and cards peeling apart are common complaints. You can typically spot these by the fact they are suspiciously cheaper than other listings for the same item and won’t even come with a little white book (LWB) of definitions, instead directing you to a link to download the keyword book.

  1. There’s three basic styles a tarot deck will be based upon: Tarot de Marseilles, Thoth, and Rider-Waite Smith.
  • Tarot de Marseilles (TdM): the oldest of the three. Major Arcana and Court Cards are story illustrated. Pips are not (e.g. this means it is more like a typical deck of cards where the 5 of cups would only show 5 cups on the card). Justice is VIII and Strength is XI in the Major Arcana. An example of this is The Goddess Tarot by Kris Waldherr (note – in the Major Arcana only. She chose to have illustrated pips like RWS for her deck).

From what I can gather, tarot likely started off as an Italian card game called tarocchi and we can thank the 18th century French occultist Eliphas Levi for linking divinatory meanings to the cards as we know them today.

  • Thoth: Aleister Crowley’s deck he had commissioned. He made improvements upon Tarot de Marseilles based on his occult knowledge. Major Arcana and Court Cards are story illustrated and pip cards are not.

I’m going to be frank with you – I don’t know much more about the Thoth deck and its clones simply because every time I have tried to read about Aleister Crowley, all I can think is, This guy is such a doooooooouuuuuuucccchhhhheeeeeee, and mentally shut down. I know people idolize him and damb near act like they’d suck his toes if they could, so he probably taught valuable information of some type but I just can’t get over that. That’s all on me. Maybe someday…

  • Rider-Waite Smith (RWS) This is far and by wide the most popular style for a good reason. The illustrator, Pamela Coleman Smith, was a member of the Golden Dawn and created story illustrations for all of the Minor Arcana. For a beginner, the original RWS or a clone variation such as Radiant White or Gilded Tarot is what I would recommend as the illustrators don’t take too many liberties with the illustrations to make learning easier. A.E. Waite was also a member of the Golden Dawn who had made improvements on TdM based on his occult knowledge. VIII Strength and XI Justice are switched in comparison to TdM in the Major Arcana.
I HAVE A TAROT DECK. NOW WHAT?

Practice. Really, there’s no better way or time to develop your skill. The USA has had a couple tarot guilds rise and disintegrated laughably into total oblivion during the last few decades who tried creating ‘standards’ one must apply for with fees to be called a ’ tarot reader’. Ha! Fuck that noise. Roll out of bed, get drunk, eat some ice cream, and ask your cards whether your relationship really is done forever or if it can be saved. Empower yourself, my fellow god.

I’d recommend buying a journal to document down the date and spread results. (Note: a tarot spread is a list of divinatory questions corresponding to a card and a map showing you how to place them). You’ll sometimes get cards that won’t make sense for a few weeks or you’ll notice uncannily appear in your reading regarding yourself or another person.

I also recommend finding tarot keyword and explanation resources, as the little white book (LWB) that accompanies tarot deck are known in the community as being attrociously inaccurate and fucking ridiculous to the point maybe they’re purposely made that obscure. Who knows. The point is is that they suck ass.

If you have the funds, I recommend the book The Ultimate Guide to the Rider Waite Tarot by Evelin Burger and Johannes Fiebig. It is excellent with full-page illustrations and go in depth by breaking down all of the symbolism used on each card.

Online and free resources I like are

  • James Riox with ATA-Tarot. He wrote excellent essays analyzing each of the cards in their upright positions.

  • Joan Bunning offers a free at-your-own-pace tarot learning course. She also has The Fool’s Journey story describing the 0 The Fool traveling through all of the Major Arcana cards until he reaches the end of XXI The World.

  • Biddy Tarot and The Tarot Guide are great and easy to use websites that list upright and reverse meanings for each card.

  • Aeclectic is a website with a ton of different tarot spreads archived. You can always make your own as well.

  • I listed my own keywords in the above post.

If you ever decide to create your own keywords, find your favorite resources and figure out what the common meaning they are trying to convey between all of them is. It’s a lot harder than it sounds.

And remember: tarot cards can be a little snarky and blunt when you keep asking them the same question repeatedly in my experience. Give it a few days.

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Bookmarking this… and this… and over here… wow you are a power house of info!

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ANCESTOR COMMUNICATION SPREAD

Samhain is coming soon and winter spirits seem to be arriving a little early. I made this tarot spread for a friend of mine who lost her mother and missed her dearly. I’ve seen great results from other people I’ve performed this for as well.

You’ll want to ask a psychopomp to open the gate and allow the specific person you’re trying to communicate with to come through and thank them with an offering. I ask Hecate. She’s fond of vegetables and dogs, so a dog-friendly offering like some steamed broccoli or pumpkin left out is what I give. A white candle for the dead to see and some incense to draw them in like tobacco or sandalwood should be lit after you thank the psychopomp. You’ll feel when they are there. It’s different. Invite them in if you feel safe or hold your reading outside of you’re cautious. You’ll need to light another incense stick to feed them such as sandalwood as it seems they have a hard time staying here for long from what I can feel. The longest I think I got was 30 minutes. Don’t forget to thank the dead for coming. I believe the best time to reach them is between Samhain and Imbolc.

*Note: I’ve learned if they were a cantankerous ass when alive, they will be a cantankerous ass when dead. Huge headache with the feeling of being patronized. I can’t hear or see well, but I can feel emotions really good. I learned my lesson to ask what a deceased loved one’s personality was like beforehand now.

As Above…
  1. Card that represents the querent.
So Below…
  1. Card that represents Ancestor.

  2. How is Ancestor doing? Is s/he okay?

  3. Where is s/he? Does s/he like where s/he’s at?

<Regarding cards 5-12: querent can ask Ancestor what their thoughts are on a given matter along with advice. Limit is four questions. The following are the default questions>

5+6. Ancestor’s thoughts on your existent or non-existent love life.

7+8. Ancestor’s thoughts on your relationship with a different family member such as siblings or children.

9+10. Ancestor’s thoughts regarding a living person that the Ancestor held dear such as their widowed spouse or surviving brother.

11+12. Ancestor’s thoughts regarding the direction of your life.

  1. Any other advice/message Ancestor wants to share.
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INVOCATION OF ABRAXAS ARCHETYPE DURING SPELL WORK

I ripped off Miguel Connor’s old intro from Aeon Byte Gnostic Radio and invoke ABRAXAS with a time clause during spell work. If you have been following his show for a while (formerly known as the Coffee, Cigarettes, and Gnosis), you’ll notice he has moved away from Abraxas to Hermes. Miguel said he’s dropping a book in October 2020 titled The Black Book (a play on C.G. Jung’s The Red Book) explaining why. His choice. He’s obviously outgrown and needs something else.

This is a method I’ve enjoyed using so far as I can feel energy flowing throughout my body, but I’ve done it only a few times. If you try it, let me know how it goes.

“I AM and I AM ABRAXAS, that terrible God Before God as the ancients knew him, here in my mortal incarnation of longlostredemption.”

Continue performing spell and saying incantations.

“This will manifest on the material plane within-”

Add reasonable time clause, for example:

“three full moons. I dream of it, I wish for it, I will for it, I make it so, and it is so. As Above. So Below. I AM because I AM and I CREATE as I SPEAK. ABRACADBRA.”

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Thank you @longlostredemption :hibiscus:
I really appreciate you sharing your knowledge in this generous way.

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HOW DO I READ TAROT CARDS FOR SOMEONE ELSE LONG DISTANCE?

A good question I was asked recently was whether there was a certain method to use when reading tarot cards for somebody not physically present. In the little white book that accompanies most tarot decks, the instructions usually state to let the querent (another word for client or person asking) hold the deck for a moment so it can pick up their ‘energies’ before proceeding with the reading. For obvious reasons, this advice is useless when it comes to long distance readings.

No need to worry though. There are many different ways to tap into the claircognizance flow of consciousness one needs to do remote readings. I’ll share the method I use that came to me one day randomly as well as other methods I’ve learned from asking others in the tarot readers community:

I ask the querent to provide me:

  1. A color.

  2. A number of times to shuffle the deck.
    Something that touches their soul at the moment such as a song, a poem, a painting, or a memory.

  3. If the reading is a relationship one, I’ll ask them to specifically tailor the soul-touching part as something that makes them feel connected to the other person.

METHODS OTHER TAROT READERS USE:

  • The reader asks the querent to provide their numerology life path number if they know it. If they do not, then the reader asks the querent to provide their full date of birth so the reader can look it up beforehand.

  • The reader asks the querent the provide a picture of their face.

  • The reader prefers to just focus on the querent’s question and imagines the querent’s silhouette before them (similar to scanning the godform exercise on BALG).

  • The reader asks the querent to provide their age, full name, and any nicknames. The reader then meditates on the querent’s name until they feel ready.

  • The reader asks the querent for their zodiac sign.

You may have to try out a few methods to find what feels most natural for you.

If you use a pendulum, you can confirm whether you tapped into a querent’s energy by dowsing.

After you finished shuffling the deck and before laying out the spread, ask if the cards are in the correct order for who you are reading for. If the answer is ‘yes’, proceed with laying out the spread and interpreting the meaning.

If the answer is ‘no’, try cleansing your deck by reordering them, passing them through incense, or by knocking on them like a door while visualizing ‘dust’ falling off of them before trying again.

HOW I PREDICT TIME WITH A PENDULUM PLUS OTHER TIPS

I have random moments of claircognizance that happen from time to time. Last year, one day I knew I needed to check the configuration of the pendulum answers before beginning. The directions completely changed orientations. I also received new ideas and directions. It’s grown over time to include within a full moon, within a new moon, ask again less time, ask again more time, rephrase less details, rephrase more details, etc.

A little hard to read, but it’s worked so well for me and has had interesting results.

MY VISUAL REPRESENTATION OF THE FOUR REFLECTIONS OF ABRAXAS, BASED ON C.G. JUNG’S LIBER NOVUS: THE RED BOOK - PUBLIC DOMAIN CHAPTERS OF "SEVEN SERMONS TO THE DEAD

If you’re not familiar with Swiss psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung’s Liber Novus: The Red Book, don’t feel bad. It was one of his most highly kept guarded secrets he held onto up until death.

In 1913, Jung was walking outside one day and suddenly went into psychosis. When he came back to his senses, he realized he had a unique opportunity to psychoanalyze the symbolism.
He figured out a way to induce the hallucinations at will and recorded them in several black books between 1913 and 1916. He later transposed them all into one, large leatherbound red book complete with his paintings he titled Liber Novus.
Many of Jung’s theories such as the shadow, individuation, extroverted and introverted personality types, archetypes, and the collective unconscious were developed from analyzing his visions. Obviously, if he wanted to not be a laughing stock in his professional field, he knew he had to keep such things a secret. Carl Gustav Jung died in June of 1961. His family publicly released The Red Book in October of 2009.

Within The Red Book, dualist concepts such as Elijah and Salome were always shown together.
The Red Book is also one of the few texts available that talks about Abraxas, one of the demons listed in the Ars Goetia. Jung meets a spirit who identifies himself as the Gnostic dualist teacher, Basilides. (*Note: the only collection of surviving Gnostic texts is The Nag Hammadi Library discovered in 1945, which did not contain any writings of Basilides. While historians know of Basilides the dualist Gnostic teacher, there is no documentation from a historical standpoint on what he taught and believed.)

Basilides gives the Sevens Sermons to the Dead, which is aimed at the ignorant and spiritually dead people walking the earth unaware of what lays in the world beyond the material realm. He speaks of the god that came before god, whose name adds up to 365 degrees, a full and perfect circle, which all things good and evil flow from, the great and terrible Abraxas. Basilides writes about what we know commonly as source or void are today: the “pleroma” or fullness.

The Seven Sermons of the Dead is available in the public domain on librivox if you wish to download a copy. Otherwise, I’m posting the full 7-parts below.

LibriVox

VII SERMONES AD MORTUOS (SEVEN SERMONS TO THE DEAD). WRITTEN BY BASILIDES IN ALEXANDRIA, THE CITY WHERE THE EAST TOUCHETH THE WEST

SERMO I

The dead came back from Jerusalem, where they found not what they sought. They prayed me let them in and besought my word, and thus I began my teaching.

Harken: I begin with nothingness. Nothingness is the same as fullness. In infinity full is no better than empty. Nothingness is both empty and full. As well might ye say anything else of nothingness, as for instance, white is it, or black, or again, it is not, or it is. A thing that is infinite and eternal hath no qualities, since it hath all qualities.

This nothingness or fullness we name the PLEROMA. Therein both thinking and being cease, since the eternal and infinite possess no qualities. In it no being is, for he then would be distinct from the pleroma, and would possess qualities which would distinguish him as something distinct from the pleroma.

In the pleroma there is nothing and everything. It is quite fruitless to think about the pleroma, for this would mean self-dissolution.

CREATURA is not in the pleroma, but in itself. The pleroma is both beginning and end of created beings. It pervadeth them, as the light of the sun everywhere pervadeth the air. Although the pleroma pervadeth altogether, yet hath created being no share thereof, just as a wholly transparent body becometh neither light nor dark through the light which pervadeth it. We are, however, the pleroma itself, for we are a part of the eternal and infinite. But we have no share thereof, as we are from the pleroma infinitely removed; not spiritually or temporally, but essentially, since we are distinguished from the pleroma in our essence as creatura, which is confined within time and space.

Yet because we are parts of the pleroma, the pleroma is also in us. Even in the smallest point is the pleroma endless, eternal, and entire, since small and great are qualities which are contained in it. It is that nothingness which is everywhere whole and continuous. Only figuratively, therefore, do I speak of created being as a part of the pleroma. Because, actually, the pleroma is nowhere divided, since it is nothingness. We are also the whole pleroma, because, figuratively, the pleroma is the smallest point (assumed only, not existing) in us and the boundless firmament about us. But wherefore, then, do we speak of the pleroma at all, since it is thus everything and nothing?

I speak of it to make a beginning somewhere, and also to free you from the delusion that somewhere, either without or within, there standeth something fixed, or in some way established, from the beginning. Every so-called fixed and certain thing is only relative. That alone is fixed and certain which is subject to change.

What is changeable, however, is creatura. Therefore is it the one thing which is fixed and certain; because it hath qualities: it is even quality itself.

The question ariseth: How did creatura originate? Created beings came to pass, not creatura; since created being is the very quality of the pleroma, as much as non-creation which is the eternal death. In all times and places is creation, in all times and places is death. The pleroma hath all, distinctiveness and non-distinctiveness.

Distinctiveness is creatura. It is distinct. Distinctiveness is its essence, and therefore it distinguisheth. Therefore man discriminateth because his nature is distinctiveness. Wherefore also he distinguisheth qualities of the pleroma which are not. He distinguisheth them out of his own nature. Therefore must he speak of qualities of the pleroma which are not.

What use, say ye, to speak of it? Saidst thou not thyself, there is no profit in thinking upon the pleroma?

That said I unto you, to free you from the delusion that we are able to think about the pleroma. When we distinguish qualities of the pleroma, we are speaking from the ground of our own distinctiveness and concerning our own distinctiveness. But we have said nothing concerning the pleroma. Concerning our own distinctiveness, however, it is needful to speak, whereby we may distinguish ourselves enough. Our very nature is distinctiveness. If we are not true to this nature we do not distinguish ourselves enough. Therefore must we make distinctions of qualities.

What is the harm, ye ask, in not distinguishing oneself? If we do not distinguish, we get beyond our own nature, away from creatura. We fall into indistinctiveness, which is the other quality of the pleroma. We fall into the pleroma itself and cease to be creatures. We are given over to dissolution in the nothingness. This is the death of the creature. Therefore we die in such measure as we do not distinguish. Hence the natural striving of the creature goeth towards distinctiveness, fighteth against primeval, perilous sameness. This is called the principium individuationis. This principle is the essence of the creature. From this you can see why indistinctiveness and non-distinction are a great danger for the creature.

We must, therefore, distinguish the qualities of the pleroma. The qualities are pairs of opposites, such as—

  • The Effective and the Ineffective.

  • Fullness and Emptiness.

  • Living and Dead.

  • Difference and Sameness.

  • Light and Darkness.

  • The Hot and the Cold.

  • Force and Matter.

  • Time and Space.

  • Good and Evil.

  • Beauty and Ugliness.

  • List item

  • The One and the Many. etc.

The pairs of opposites are qualities of the pleroma which are not, because each balanceth each. As we are the pleroma itself, we also have all these qualities in us. Because the very ground of our nature is distinctiveness, therefore we have these qualities in the name and sign of distinctiveness, which meaneth—

  1. These qualities are distinct and separate in us one from the other; therefore they are not balanced and void, but are effective. Thus are we the victims of the pairs of opposites. The pleroma is rent in us.

  2. The qualities belong to the pleroma, and only in the name and sign of distinctiveness can and must we possess or live them. We must distinguish ourselves from qualities. In the pleroma they are balanced and void; in us not. Being distinguished from them delivereth us.

When we strive after the good or the beautiful, we thereby forget our own nature, which is distinctiveness, and we are delivered over to the qualities of the pleroma, which are pairs of opposites. We labor to attain to the good and the beautiful, yet at the same time we also lay hold of the evil and the ugly, since in the pleroma these are one with the good and the beautiful. When, however, we remain true to our own nature, which is distinctiveness, we distinguish ourselves from the good and the beautiful, and, therefore, at the same time, from the evil and the ugly. And thus we fall not into the pleroma, namely, into nothingness and dissolution.

Thou sayest, ye object, that difference and sameness are also qualities of the pleroma. How would it be, then, if we strive after difference? Are we, in so doing, not true to our own nature? And must we none the less be given over to sameness when we strive after difference?

Ye must not forget that the pleroma hath no qualities. We create them through thinking. If, therefore, ye strive after difference or sameness, or any qualities whatsoever, ye pursue thoughts which flow to you out of the pleroma; thoughts, namely, concerning non-existing qualities of the pleroma. Inasmuch as ye run after these thoughts, ye fall again into the pleroma, and reach difference and sameness at the same time. Not your thinking, but your being, is distinctiveness. Therefore not after difference, as ye think it, must ye strive; but after your own being. At bottom, therefore, there is only one striving, namely, the striving after your own being. If ye had this striving ye would not need to know anything about the pleroma and its qualities, and yet would ye come to your right goal by virtue of your own being. Since, however, thought estrangeth from being, that knowledge must I teach you wherewith ye may be able to hold your thought in leash.

SERMO II

In the night the dead stood along the wall and cried:

We would have knowledge of god. Where is god? Is god dead?

God is not dead. Now, as ever, he liveth. God is creatura, for he is something definite, and therefore distinct from the pleroma. God is quality of the pleroma, and everything which I said of creatura also is true concerning him.

He is distinguished, however, from created beings through this, that he is more indefinite and indeterminable than they. He is less distinct than created beings, since the ground of his being is effective fullness. Only in so far as he is definite and distinct is he creatura, and in like measure is he the manifestation of the effective fullness of the pleroma.

Everything which we do not distinguish falleth into the pleroma and is made void by its opposite. If, therefore, we do not distinguish god, effective fullness is for us extinguished.

Moreover god is the pleroma itself, as likewise each smallest point in the created and uncreated is the pleroma itself.

Effective void is the nature of the devil. God and devil are the first manifestations of nothingness, which we call the pleroma. It is indifferent whether the pleroma is or is not, since in everything it is balanced and void. Not so creatura. In so far as god and devil are creatura they do not extinguish each other, but stand one against the other as effective opposites. We need no proof of their existence. It is enough that we must always be speaking of them. Even if both were not, creatura, of its own essential distinctiveness, would forever distinguish them anew out of the pleroma.

Everything that discrimination taketh out of the pleroma is a pair of opposites. To god, therefore, always belongeth the devil.

This inseparability is as close and, as your own life hath made you see, as indissoluble as the pleroma itself. Thus it is that both stand very close to the pleroma, in which all opposites are extinguished and joined.

God and devil are distinguished by the qualities fullness and emptiness, generation and destruction. Effectiveness is common to both. Effectiveness joineth them. Effectiveness, therefore, standeth above both; is a god above god, since in its effect it uniteth fullness and emptiness.

This is a god whom ye knew not, for mankind forgot it. We name it by its name Abraxas. It is more indefinite still than god and devil.

That god may be distinguished from it, we name god Helios or Sun. Abraxas is effect. Nothing standeth opposed to it but the ineffective; hence its effective nature freely unfoldeth itself. The ineffective is not, therefore resisteth not. Abraxas standeth above the sun and above the devil. It is improbable probability, unreal reality. Had the pleroma a being, Abraxas would be its manifestation. It is the effective itself, not any particular effect, but effect in general.

It is unreal reality, because it hath no definite effect.

It is also creatura, because it is distinct from the pleroma.

The sun hath a definite effect, and so hath the devil. Wherefore do they appear to us more effective than indefinite Abraxas.

It is force, duration, change.

The dead now raised a great tumult, for they were Christians.

SERMO III

Like mists arising from a marsh, the dead came near and cried: Speak further unto us concerning the supreme god.

Hard to know is the deity of Abraxas. Its power is the greatest, because man perceiveth it not. From the sun he draweth the summum bonum; from the devil the infimum malum; but from Abraxas life, altogether indefinite, the mother of good and evil.

Smaller and weaker life seemeth to be than the summum bonum; wherefore is it also hard to conceive that Abraxas transcendeth even the sun in power, who is himself the radiant source of all the force of life.

Abraxas is the sun, and at the same time the eternally sucking gorge of the void, the belittling and dismembering devil.

The power of Abraxas is twofold; but ye see it not, because for your eyes the warring opposites of this power are extinguished.

What the god-sun speaketh is life.

What the devil speaketh is death.

But Abraxas speaketh that hallowed and accursed word which is life and death at the same time.

Abraxas begetteth truth and lying, good and evil, light and darkness, in the same word and in the same act. Wherefore is Abraxas terrible.

It is splendid as the lion in the instant he striketh down his victim. It is beautiful as a day of spring. It is the great Pan himself and also the small one. It is Priapos.

It is the monster of the under-world, a thousand-armed polyp, coiled knot of winged serpents, frenzy.

It is the hermaphrodite of the earliest beginning.

It is the lord of the toads and frogs, which live in the water and go up on the land, whose chorus ascendeth at noon and at midnight.

It is abundance that seeketh union with emptiness.

It is holy begetting.

It is love and love’s murder.

It is the saint and his betrayer.

It is the brightest light of day and the darkest night of madness.

To look upon it, is blindness.

To know it, is sickness.

To worship it, is death.

To fear it, is wisdom.

To resist it not, is redemption.

God dwelleth behind the sun, the devil behind the night. What god bringeth forth out of the light the devil sucketh into the night. But Abraxas is the world, its becoming and its passing. Upon every gift that cometh from the god-sun the devil layeth his curse.

Everything that ye entreat from the god-sun begetteth a deed of the devil.

Everything that ye create with the god-sun giveth effective power to the devil.

That is terrible Abraxas.

It is the mightiest creature, and in it the creature is afraid of itself.

It is the manifest opposition of creatura to the pleroma and its nothingness.

It is the son’s horror of the mother.

It is the mother’s love for the son.

It is the delight of the earth and the cruelty of the heavens.

Before its countenance man becometh like stone.

Before it there is no question and no reply.

It is the life of creatura.

It is the operation of distinctiveness.

It is the love of man.

It is the speech of man.

It is the appearance and the shadow of man.

It is illusory reality.

Now the dead howled and raged, for they were unperfected.

SERMO IV

The dead filled the place murmuring and said:

Tell us of gods and devils, accursed one!

The god-sun is the highest good; the devil is the opposite. Thus have ye two gods. But there are many high and good things and many great evils. Among these are two god-devils; the one is the burning one, the other the growing one.

The burning one is eros, who hath the form of flame. Flame giveth light because it consumeth.

The growing one is the tree of life. It buddeth, as in growing it heapeth up living stuff.

Eros flameth up and dieth. But the tree of life groweth with slow and constant increase through unmeasured time.

Good and evil are united in the flame.

Good and evil are united in the increase of the tree. In their divinity stand life and love opposed.

Innumerable as the host of the stars is the number of gods and devils.

Each star is a god, and each space that a star filleth is a devil. But the empty-fullness of the whole is the pleroma.

The operation of the whole is Abraxas, to whom only the ineffective standeth opposed.

Four is the number of the principal gods, as four is the number of the world’s measurements.

  • One is the beginning, the god-sun.

  • Two is Eros; for he bindeth twain together and outspreadeth himself in brightness.

  • Three is the Tree of Life, for it filleth space with bodily forms.

  • Four is the devil, for he openeth all that is closed. All that is formed of bodily nature doth he dissolve; he is the destroyer in whom everything is brought to nothing.

For me, to whom knowledge hath been given of the multiplicity and diversity of the gods, it is well. But woe unto you, who replace these incompatible many by a single god. For in so doing ye beget the torment which is bred from not understanding, and ye mutilate the creature whose nature and aim is distinctiveness. How can ye be true to your own nature when ye try to change the many into one? What ye do unto the gods is done likewise unto you. Ye all become equal and thus is your nature maimed.

Equality shall prevail not for god, but only for the sake of man. For the gods are many, whilst men are few. The gods are mighty and can endure their manifoldness. For like the stars they abide in solitude, parted one from the other by immense distances. But men are weak and cannot endure their manifold nature. Therefore they dwell together and need communion, that they may bear their separateness. For redemption’s sake I teach you the rejected truth, for the sake of which I was rejected.

The multiplicity of the gods correspondeth to the multiplicity of man.

Numberless gods await the human state. Numberless gods have been men. Man shareth in the nature of the gods. He cometh from the gods and goeth unto god.

Thus, just as it serveth not to reflect upon the pleroma, it availeth not to worship the multiplicity of the gods. Least of all availeth it to worship the first god, the effective abundance and the summum bonum . By our prayer we can add to it nothing, and from it nothing take; because the effective void swalloweth all.

The bright gods form the celestial world. It is manifold and infinitely spreading and increasing. The god-sun is the supreme lord of that world.

The dark gods form the earth-world. They are simple and infinitely diminishing and declining. The devil is the earth-world’s lowest lord, the moon-spirit, satellite of the earth, smaller, colder, and more dead than the earth.

There is no difference between the might of the celestial gods and those of the earth. The celestial gods magnify, the earth-gods diminish. Measureless is the movement of both.

SERMO V

The dead mocked and cried: Teach us, fool, of the church and holy communion.

The world of the gods is made manifest in spirituality and in sexuality. The celestial ones appear in spirituality, the earthly in sexuality.

Spirituality conceiveth and embraceth. It is womanlike and therefore we call it mater coelestis, the celestial mother. Sexuality engendereth and createth. It is manlike, and therefore we call it phallos, the earthly father.

The sexuality of man is more of the earth, the sexuality of woman is more of the spirit.

The spirituality of man is more of heaven, it goeth to the greater.

The spirituality of woman is more of the earth, it goeth to the smaller.

Lying and devilish is the spirituality of the man which goeth to the smaller.

Lying and devilish is the spirituality of the woman which goeth to the greater.

Each must go to its own place.

Man and woman become devils one to the other when they divide not their spiritual ways, for the nature of creatura is distinctiveness.

The sexuality of man hath an earthward course, the sexuality of woman a spiritual. Man and woman become devils one to the other if they distinguish not their sexuality.

Man shall know of the smaller, woman the greater.

Man shall distinguish himself both from spirituality and from sexuality. He shall call spirituality Mother, and set her between heaven and earth. He shall call sexuality Phallos, and set him between himself and earth. For the Mother and the Phallos are super-human daemons which reveal the world of the gods. They are for us more effective than the gods, because they are closely akin to our own nature. Should ye not distinguish yourselves from sexuality and from spirituality, and not regard them as of a nature both above you and beyond, then are ye delivered over to them as qualities of the pleroma. Spirituality and sexuality are not your qualities, not things which ye possess and contain. But they possess and contain you; for they are powerful daemons, manifestations of the gods, and are, therefore, things which reach beyond you, existing in themselves. No man hath a spirituality unto himself, or a sexuality unto himself. But he standeth under the law of spirituality and of sexuality.

No man, therefore, escapeth these daemons. Ye shall look upon them as daemons, and as a common task and danger, a common burden which life hath laid upon you. Thus is life for you also a common task and danger, as are the gods, and first of all terrible Abraxas.

Man is weak, therefore is communion indispensable. If your communion be not under the sign of the Mother, then is it under the sign of the Phallos. No communion is suffering and sickness. Communion in everything is dismemberment and dissolution.

Distinctiveness leadeth to singleness. Singleness is opposed to communion. But because of man’s weakness over against the gods and daemons and their invincible law is communion needful. Therefore shall there be as much communion as is needful, not for man’s sake, but because of the gods. The gods force you to communion. As much as they force you, so much is communion needed, more is evil.

In communion let every man submit to others, that communion be maintained; for ye need it.

In singleness the one man shall be superior to the others, that every man may come to himself and avoid slavery.

In communion there shall be continence.

In singleness there shall be prodigality.

Communion is depth.

Singleness is height.

Right measure in communion purifieth and preserveth.

Right measure in singleness purifieth and increaseth.

Communion giveth us warmth, singleness giveth us light.

SERMO VI

The daemon of sexuality approacheth our soul as a serpent. It is half human and appeareth as thought-desire.

The daemon of spirituality descendeth into our soul as the white bird. It is half human and appeareth as desire-thought.

The serpent is an earthy soul, half daemonic, a spirit, and akin to the spirits of the dead. Thus too, like these, she swarmeth around in the things of earth, making us either to fear them or pricking us with intemperate desires. The serpent hath a nature like unto woman. She seeketh ever the company of the dead who are held by the spell of the earth, they who found not the way beyond that leadeth to singleness. The serpent is a whore. She wantoneth with the devil and with evil spirits; a mischievous tyrant and tormentor, ever seducing to evilest company. The white bird is a half-celestial soul of man. He bideth with the Mother, from time to time descending. The bird hath a nature like unto man, and is effective thought. He is chaste and solitary, a messenger of the Mother. He flieth high above earth. He commandeth singleness. He bringeth knowledge from the distant ones who went before and are perfected. He beareth our word above to the Mother. She intercedeth, she warneth, but against the gods she hath no power. She is a vessel of the sun. The serpent goeth below and with her cunning she lameth the phallic daemon, or else goadeth him on. She yieldeth up the too crafty thoughts of the earthy one, those thoughts which creep through every hole and cleave to all things with desirousness. The serpent, doubtless, willeth it not, yet she must be of use to us. She fleeth our grasp, thus showing us the way, which with our human wits we could not find.

With disdainful glance the dead spake: Cease this talk of gods and daemons and souls. At bottom this hath long been known to us.

SERMO VII

Yet when night was come the dead again approached with lamentable mien and said: There is yet one matter we forgot to mention. Teach us about man.

Man is a gateway, through which from the outer world of gods, daemons, and souls ye pass into the inner world; out of the greater into the smaller world. Small and transitory is man. Already is he behind you, and once again ye find yourselves in endless space, in the smaller or innermost infinity. At immeasurable distance standeth one single Star in the zenith.

This is the one god of this one man. This is his world, his pleroma, his divinity.

In this world is man Abraxas, the creator and the destroyer of his own world.

This Star is the god and the goal of man.

This is his one guiding god. In him goeth man to his rest. Toward him goeth the long journey of the soul after death. In him shineth forth as light all that man bringeth back from the greater world. To this one god man shall pray.

Prayer increaseth the light of the Star. It casteth a bridge over death. It prepareth life for the smaller world and assuageth the hopeless desires of the greater.

When the greater world waxeth cold, burneth the Star.

Between man and his one god there standeth nothing, so long as man can turn away his eyes from the flaming spectacle of Abraxas.

Man here, god there.

Weakness and nothingness here, there eternally creative power.

Here nothing but darkness and chilling moisture.

There wholly sun.

Whereupon the dead were silent and ascended like the smoke above the herdsman’s fire, who through the night kept watch over his flock.

ANAGRAMMA:

NAHTRIHECCUNDE
GAHINNEVERAHTUNIN
ZEHGESSURKLACH
ZUNNUS

NEW YEAR’S TAROT SPREAD

x1xxx2xxx3
x4xxx5xxx6
x7xxx8xxx9
10xx11xx12
xxxx13xxxx
xxxx14xxxx
xxxx15xxxx
xxxx16xxxx
xxxx17xxxx
xxxx18xxxx
xxxx19xxxx
xxxx20xxxx
xx21xx22xx

  1. January outlook:

  2. February outlook:

  3. March outlook:

  4. April outlook:

  5. May outlook:

  6. June outlook:

  7. July outlook:

  8. August outlook:

  9. September outlook:

  10. October outlook:

  11. November outlook:

  12. December outlook:

  13. Departing energies from the previous year:

  14. Health outlook:

  15. Career outlook:

  16. Finances outlook:

  17. Family/friends outlook:

  18. Love outlook:

  19. Spirituality outlook:

  20. Theme of the year:

  21. The biggest obstacle you’ll face this year:

  22. How to overcome this obstacle:

REFLECTION

I was inspired last year by a Facebook tarot group to join the band wagon and give myself a New Year’s overview spread. There was a post with an alarmingly high amount of people chiming in showing something bad happening sometime around July and August in their clients’ or their own readings. Obviously, for shits and giggles, I wanted to see if I would, too. I didn’t find a pre-made spread I jived with and created the above spread.

My thoughts regarding last year’s is this: it was pretty accurate, although my skeptical mind is cautioning me about cognitive bias. The shut-downs from COVID where I live didn’t start until mid-March. There was another shut down of sorts in June in my state. Many people were getting antsy about social distancing. They took off to explore and abuse the great outdoors. They fell into their old, selfish, ignorant habits and sparked an absurd amount of wildfires from illegal fireworks to a baby gender reveal gone awry. In August, the sky turned orange on the west coast and looked like a dystopian hell scene. The card represented here – 10 of Wands, belongs to the fire suit and means “overburdened and taking on too much”. Where our lives are not always neatly self-contained and instead affect other people’s, I believe that is what the July and August worrisome cards had forewarned in various people’s readings. Also: friends and family had XIII Death as the card.

Another thing to note was back on 11 January 2020, my marriage was fantastic, my health was good, and people figured COVID-19 would be like the SARS virus and not really affect anywhere outside of China. The first reported cases of COVID-19 officially being in the USA was in February. I suffered a gallbladder attack about two weeks after the reading and had to get surgery early March. My marriage turned to absolute shit to the point we’re still talking about legal separation and the possibility of me moving away from him and our children. I struggled on and off getting ‘in the zone’ regarding my astral senses because of how goddamn consumed by depression I was. 2020 was a really shitty year for me, personally.

The forecast for 2021 looks a hell of a lot more positive. I really fucking need that. Especially since I was sick from January 1st to the 5th and then saw the shit show of the Capitol being raided. Like what the fuck?

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Weird hypnopompic dream

I’m storing this here, so hopefully I won’t forget. It’s 3:10 AM and about an hour ago, I was in the hypnopompic state between dreaming and waking.

I was having a nightmare – at least audibly I was. I heard rummaging of sorts (what likely started to wake me) and then a woman’s voice.

“Hey, it’s just me, Carley. I’ve got some new dope for us to try.”

Spouse says: “Oh, cool. We used to bang.”

She walks out of our room and into our kids’ room. She’s still making noise and I hear my oldest son talk to her in her sleep. I’m freaked out and angry at this point that she’ll wake my kids up.

I whisper to my spouse, “What the fuck is she doing here and why does she have a key to our house?!”

This is when I see “Carley” walk back to our room. There is an entity at least seven feet tall and slender. It looks like a snow ghillie suit, the type with white rag strips, with a dirty appearance. I get scared and close my eyes again.

“Carley” doesn’t seem to notice I’ve seen what she actually looks like. She’s still talking in this valley-girl way, about getting high or something. I’m still in a sleep state and say something back, but realize I’m unintentionally making a weird sound – I’m snoring. This makes me aware I’m in a dream state, but I’m still seeing this spirit when I open my eyes for a second. I think back and my husband hasn’t moved at all, not even during his one line of my dream, further confirming the auditory nature of the dream.

I banished with solar light and it went away. I’m confused whether it was all a dream where I was still asleep or if there are spirits that can affect dreams that look like this. I’ve never experienced a dream to continue in auditory form with what I’m visually seeing not matching before.

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MY EXPERIENCE WITH DAILY TAROT RELATIONSHIP READINGS

Back in March, I was a new employee and had accidentally angered my boss. He followed me out to my car after I clocked out and went off on me-- I was a bitchy know-it-all with too large of a vocabulary and obnoxiously smart. If I wanted to keep my job, I needed to change my attitude really quick.

I had acquired my job – which has better pay and work-life balance, after doing a ritual with Mammon (hail Mammon!) and offering pyrite. I did not want to lose it and while I considered using a sour jar, I decided it would be more helpful trying to improve the relationship as there was something off and unspoken I could feel in the warehouse. Where he’s integral to operations, I decided to use tarot as a passive method to ascertain more information.

I didn’t originally plan to do daily readings. One day at work I had a revelation that the reading I had performed the night before and confused the hell out of me accurately predicted how my work day would go. What needed to change and advice on what was in my personal power to do to improve the relationship became extremely helpful as I navigated interpersonal conflicts with foresight.

LIST OF THINGS I’VE LEARNED:
  1. It is a pain in the ass trying to understand relationship interpretations that are not romantic. I found myself using multiple websites to see different perspectives. In hindsight, general interpretations combined with career interpretations would be best in a work relationship spread.

  2. Speaking of multiple websites I frequented:

  1. The Minor Arcana really does reflect day-to-day situations. I’ll see the same card for days and then not again for a while. 10 of Wands – taking on too much, showed up frequently for my boss for a while, then Reverse 10 of Wands appeared when he started delegating supervisory tasks to another co-worker and kinda kept to himself for a while. 2 of Swords and 7 of Swords frequently showed as his mental state.

  2. The Major Arcana, which depicts major themes, tends to show the same cards or similar meaning cards. I’ve used five different tarot decks during these months-long regular readings and the amount of times I’ve seen XVI The Tower, XX Judgement, VIII/XI Justice, and the XV The Devil is ridiculously high.

Anyway, that’s it for now. Below is the tarot spread I use daily I found on aeclectic’s tarot spread index and is excellent.

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING SPREAD:

2 . 1 . 3
5 . 4 . 6
8 . 7 . 9
.10 .11.
…12…

Card 1: The problem, the real question; present situation, reason for asking.

Card 2: Shows how you relate to the other person.

Card 3: Shows how the other person relates to you.

Card 4: Shows what the relationship looks like as a whole.

Card 5: Shows your hopes, needs and desires in the relationship.

Card 6: Shows the other person’s hopes, needs, and desires in the relationship.

Card 7: What is causing conflict or impediments.

Card 8: Represents your perspective of the problem and how you will deal with it.

Card 9: Represents the other person’s perspective on the problem and how they will deal with it.

Card 10: What needs to change to overcome challenges.

Card 11: This is how you can resolve any differences and how you can improve the relationship and take it to the next level.

Card 12: Crucial Insight; additional advice or outcome.

I MAY HAVE POSSIBLY FOUND THE ANSWER TO A SYMBOL I SAW DURING VARIOUS CLAIRVOYANCE FLASHES: THE EIGHTH SPHERE AND THE BEHENIAN STARS

I started having clairvoyant flashes again and was repeatedly bombarded with a symbol. I made a post a few weeks ago here on BALG, but there were no replies recognizing it. I believe I came across the answer serendipitously.

The train of thoughts leading me into stumbling upon symbol identification:

I was researching Satan and saw similarities between him and Sophia Achamoth (the fallen, lower Sophia, split in two, and living isolated in the background yet able to influence everything in this plane of existence) >

Sophia Achamoth is supposed to live in the eighth sphere >

What the hell is the eighth sphere in classical astrology? >

Discovered “fixed stars” belonged to the eighth sphere. In these, there is a set of 15 stars known as the Behenian-- or “root” stars, that are associated with the occult. >

I came across this thread in Reddit and the OP provided this awesome infographic

And that’s when this one star in particular stood out to me with its familiarity to the symbol from my clairvoyant flashes

I’m stoked. I’m also delightfully surprised to find out that the symbol can be used as a talisman to draw friendlier behavior towards you. I’ve been struggling with a hostile work environment (mentioned in the previous post) and the symbol is extremely relevant to what I’m trying to achieve.

And maybe my assumptions that this is the symbol I’ve been seeing and I’m experiencing self-confirmation bias. The gut feeling I have is that this is the same symbol, even if it’s drawn slightly different than the way I’m shown.

I saw another flash of the symbol just now by thinking about it while staring off at the ceiling. It’s always drawn the same way on repeat when it appears: arrow down, arrow up, bottom intersecting line off of the arrow down, and I could see a second, smaller intersecting line above the other.

As far as I’m able to perceive correctly, the updated symbol looks like this:

Hail Satan and Sophia Achamoth!