The Fate Of All Fools

Tuesday, October 6th

Parkway Drive – Cemetery Bloom

I didn’t get the house to myself as long as I expected over the weekend just gone, so could not proceed with the handful of full evocations I had planned. :frowning_face: It’s not the same when you have to whisper and creep around in silence. I was hoping to get three more full rituals in, not counting Friday’s ritual.

October 4: Orias evocation. Note to self: remain standing for the entire ritual next time
October 5: Agares petition.

Feeling quite neutral and a bit lazy at the moment. The neutrality is nice, I’ve been approaching a goal in a structured way with a number of different rituals and I’ve been so oversaturated with it that now I rarely think about it except in a vague “this is done” way with a little smile on my face. I cast a ritual and then put it out of my mind, and if I do happen to think of it, my mind just slides away from it. Again, I feel like I cannot take entire credit for this and it is in large part thanks to passively basking in Dantalion’s current.

I had another sleep paralysis episode a few days ago which was underwhelming; I remember waking and being unable to move, a little disconcerted, and then as I normally do, I call to King Belial. I’m still trying to recapture that one episode where I spontaneously experienced a bunch of his evocation keys. This time I simply heard voices whispering “Belial, Belial”; and then I drifted back to sleep, but I had the distinct memory of rolling over on my side and falling back to sleep, only to later awaken again and find that I was still (?) on my back. Damn it Veil, you really need to capitalise on these sleep paralysis episodes when they occur.

On the lazy side of things… I’ve started falling asleep while meditating. Silly. I need to meditate upright and make better use of my time.

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Tuesday, 13th October

Not much to report today magickal-practice-wise.

Last night I had broken sleep and kept going in and out of dreams. The single theme was that I was casting rituals and petitions to Buer, who I have not worked with before. In the last dream, another spirit showed up, a gaunt and wiry old man with very long white hair. I woke up with the impression of “F”. I opened up my copy of Demons of Magick and the page I was on was “The powers of Furcas”. His evocation keys: grey and white, and the feeling of old skin over hard muscle.

Looks like I’ll be working with Buer and Furcas, I suppose. I haven’t had a demon try to reach me in dreams, that I know of, since my PAIMON dream.

More rambling:
I remember a situation that happened a few years ago. Maybe six or seven years now that I think about it. I was lying in bed and meditating on Elubatel’s sigil, then put it aside and tried to sleep. My ears were full of the sound of ringing. From a distance I heard dogs barking, and then in a great chain from far to nearby, all the dogs in the neighbourhood were set to howling and barking. From the window right behind my head I heard a dog’s steady panting gradually approaching, until it was right by my head. By then I was very disturbed and firmly cried “Stop!” in my head. The sound – panting, barking, and ringing all – stopped, not at all once, but as though some great hand seized the world’s volume control and turned it steadily down from 10 to zero. I think that was what freaked me out the most. I was too nervous to sleep for a long time after, and I never figured out exactly what happened.

Edit: also on the way to work I was violently overtaken by a car whose numberplate read “3 Signs”. Ok universe, give me my three signs then, I’m ready.

Until next time :two_hearts:

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Tuesday, 20th October

Kendrick Lamar – LOVE. FEAT. ZACARI.

Have been steadily working my way through a bunch of targeted petitions, with more planned over the remainder of the week.

One petition last night felt like a big win. Good energy, strong candle flame. Evocation keys were easily called up and projected. Got a bit turned on. The petition burned so quickly and strongly that the flames were floating an inch or two above the actual paper. Will report back in a few weeks.

Second petition last night, almost instantaneous results after calling up this particular spirit and tasking him. Within the hour later I had results, and the results have lasted all through today. Note, this was a petition for internal change, not material manifestation as such. Part of the deal was public praise, so I hope he understands that I am holding off on being more explicit here, because while the quick effects are very welcome, I would like to see if it holds a bit more long-term, to the spirit of the petition, and not just the word. But, so far I am quite impressed, and excited to share praise. I’m a little bit in awe/love. Reee

Petition tonight, same deal; took a minute to get myself settled but made sure I was in the zone when I went into it. Good connection, strong visualisation, quick burning.

My dreams (which I take to be a yardstick for my subconscious) have been gradually clearing up. Last night was an interesting kind of meta-dream, in which I was experiencing something that I wanted, and my dream-self, while not lucid, was nonetheless conscious that it was being imprinted on my subconscious. :thinking:

And before I drifted off to sleep, Furcas was on my mind once more, and I felt a presence quite strongly. Today I was idly drawing him. I haven’t forgotten, and I will call on you.

I am watching the results of a petition I made a few months ago seeming to come to fruition before my very eyes. I’m actually wondering if I should reverse it because there’s probably going to be a lot of money in it for me. :thinking: At the time I didn’t see beyond just wanting it to be removed from my day to day life, but now I think I am better equipped to handle it, and instead of using magic to make the problem go away, I can use magic to make myself more capable of handing the problem.

Got myself a new Tarot deck, and ordered hard-copies of 72 Angels of Magick and Demons of Magick. I plan to pad out my collection with a hardcopy of every Gallery of Magick book… just in case.

One note; I have been following my own notes I’ve taken on DoM’s first ritual, the petition ritual. I should amend them to include the below as I have found them very helpful for myself:

  • Eyes open visualisation during opening ritual, while staring fixedly through the core ritual sigil.
  • Chanting Atah Gibor Le-olam Adonai rather than stating it once, while staring through the core ritual sigil.
  • If I have trouble focusing I continue to chant the above while scanning the demon’s sigil, up until calling the Shem angel.
  • Continuing to mentally chant the demon’s name as I cycle through the evocation keys, building momentum, switching back and forth at random between them.

Dreamt of being chased by a blind white lion, trying to fight it off but its claws were in me. I was on the ground, it looming over me like a lover, claws in flesh, then woke up. Felt sick, felt ominous presence(s). Banished, set wards, and went back to sleep. Broken sleep. Weird dreams. Today feeling drained and ill and foggy.

Sunday, 25th October

Drake – Finesse

Not much to report.

My nails are getting too long to type properly with.

If I was better-prepared and not so lazy, I’d have cast a ritual last week for what I have to face tomorrow. Rather, I’m just going to wing it, which is how I approach most things in life, and seems to have worked out for me so far.

I should plan something for the Halloween blue moon. Perhaps I will cut my fingernails in ritual offering.

Most of this weekend was spent diving down internet rabbit-holes. I find it oddly comforting to be reminded how warped and uncertain “reality” is. It shores up my belief that the 3D world is exceptionally malleable.


  • A minor manifestation after setting an intent for it yesterday, which I’d completely forgotten abut until it showed up. Just another experiment in testing the law. It’s coincidence! …Or is it?

  • Ritual from Sigils of Power and Transformation

  • Direct magic… of a sort. At first, not on purpose, I spaced out and entered a sort of waking trance, and ended up “opening” an image of someone like you’d open a sigil. Then doubled down deliberately, deep trance, astral temple, summoned them, interacted, dismissed. Very unscientific, but pleases me. Will need to test further.

  • Shuffled the ever-loving fuck out of the new deck. Me, thinking: when are you going to show me something positive? Two cards leapt out: king of pentacles, two of cups… … … … I don’t know what to make of this. Don’t play with my heart, new deck.

Can’t be in a room with you and stand on different sides
One thing at a time
I have to learn to hide
One thing at a time
Emotions running high

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Tuesday, October 27th

Nothing But Thieves – Particles - Piano Version

Probably barely a journal entry focused on magic but I’ll see how I go.

Actually let me put all the magic (?) at the top and all the moping at the bottom.


I woke up around 2.30am last night. I’d been dreaming of lying in bed on my stomach. Someone sat down on the bed next to me. I didn’t see their face. They said something to me, then dug their fingers roughly into the meat under my right shoulderblade. I awoke with a jolt, lying in the same position I’d been dreaming in, still with a bit of lingering pain in that one spot. The bedside lamp, which I’d left on by accident when I fell asleep, flickered and went out, and then flickered back on.

This marks the second or third sleep-related event in the past week that has unsettled me, and I’ve been feeling generally shitty and out of sorts, which is ringing some alarm bells. So after re-setting wards, I called @Keteriya’s Luna:

Who was wonderfully responsive, and nosed around the room for a bit before I asked her to inspect and cover the rest of the house. When I got home tonight I called her again and she appeared right outside my bedroom door. Interesting.

I’m thinking about also tasking one of the Goetic demons for more protection.


Since I was wide awake anyway, I fired off a bunch of Mystical Words of Power rituals. I’ve always liked to do a bunch of these one after the other so I forget which I’ve done. The emotional transmutation is helpful. I vaguely remember what I did. Will report back, maybe.


I’m sad.

I am tired of thinking about the same thing constantly.
I hate being awake.
I hate the weekends and I hate the workdays.

I know my mood can change overnight or in hours, but right now I just want to stare listlessly at the wall and listen to sad songs and wallow in self-pity.

But I’m nothing so good, no I’m nothing
Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs

Don’t know if this sadness is entirely mine. I keep having random little frissons of pre-goosebumps all over my body; beginning last night and lasting all of today. I don’t like it, and without any clear mundane cause it makes me suspicious. I’m gonna banish and re-set wards like all hell.


Some of us have noted, that she tends to patrol doorways, windows and other entrances in our homes, that can be used as portals for the unwanted, I’m not sure if this is the case or if she was just respecting your space :stuck_out_tongue: Either way sounds like she’ll do her best to aid you on this conquest.

Edit: You can ask Luna to take the sad/bad feels. She’s pretty good at transmuting them into better things, from what I’ve experienced myself.


My bedroom doubles as my ritual space, so I don’t know whether to take that as “this is the most troublesome area” or just “hey I was guarding this specific area for you”. :stuck_out_tongue: Maybe I’ll call her up later and see if I can figure out what she found. So many damn doors and windows in my house so definitely enough to keep her busy.

I see her as standing about thigh-high, decidedly purple, with mane shaded through with tones from twilight to midnight blue, and the symbol on her flank is white. Super responsive, and I’ll be relying on her help for a while, I think. :smiley: Thanks for sharing her with us :two_hearts:

Also edit:

I will 100% be doing this. Normally my go-to method is to call up Dantalion and bask in his passive current. This seems much more convenient. :smiley:


You are most welcome. I am really pleased that she’s able to help so many people, I was worried about sharing and that no one would have interest in her.

She seems to like blue and purple colors, though I’ve seen other colors reported so far, so it may also be slightly what the summoner expects or desires as far as color goes.

She seems to enjoy her job too, which I think is definitely a positive thing. She also seems to be able to answer questions, though it gets sketchy when asking about things like numbers and timelines, but I think she should be able to help you identify the cause of your issues, so that you can take the right measures.


Update: I’m feeling more uplifted and determined now.

Asked Luna to remove my sads, and I went and traded a reading with someone on another site. I am deeply awed by and respectful of tarot divination, but also I’ll be damned if I take anything lying down. Fate is not set in stone, or what’s the point of magic?


Thursday, October 29th

PARTYNEXTDOOR – Kehlani’s Freestyle

Initial success manifesting material results with affirmations.

What’d I do differently?

  1. Actually stuck with the same affirmation for days on end. Whenever I was idle, when I was falling asleep, when I was performing chores, when I woke up, when I had a few minutes spare that I’d normally spend looking at my phone.
  2. Affirmations were results-focused, i.e. focused on an objective, material measure of success, not a subjective feeling.
  3. Decided on an affirmation that felt natural, i.e., it sounds like something I would say aloud if my best friend asked me about my situation – in my words, my dialect, my natural rhythms of speech.
  4. Appended “…this week” to my affirmations.
  5. Looping said affirmation would effortlessly conjure a mental image and that would put a smile on my face.

Started on Monday or Tuesday (maybe Tuesday). I will stick with this one and see where it gets me this time next week.

Blue moon full moon Halloween this weekend. I still have nothing planned.

Last night Wed 28/10 – Unfreezing ritual, part one.

Tonight – Unfreezing ritual, part two.

Who did you love that I gotta shake hands with?
Who did you love that I gotta make plans with?
If we not standing then it’s not a one night stand and
I’m not romantic, I’m not with the antics, no
Damn I wish I took things slower

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It’s comforting, because it takes the boring out of it and allows one at the bottom to rise to the top.

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Monday, 2nd November

Felt oddly buoyant today. Very few troubling thoughts, which meant very little prompt for affirmations. Nice to be back in that expectant, calm, certain mindset of “it is done”.

Note to self: need to perform more magic to lube up grease the wheels of my day-to-day life. Everything goes smoothly in general, but there’s always room to adjust and nudge it onto an even more pleasant course.

Fri 30/10: Finished Unfreezing Ritual, day three.

Saturday 31/10: Opening for the group ritual work I’m doing; petition to Hekate.

Sunday 1/11: More work with Hekate. Visionary magic. She, as pale as death, robed in black or midnight blue, wearing a crown of three moons. After the group work, I hedged that I had something else I wished to request. “Ask,” she said. Her voice is deep. I asked her assistance to break down, destroy, and remove any barriers that stand between myself and my goal.

She showed me the shimmering trail of a full moon reflected in the sea. The light of the Moon is hindered by nothing physical; its path is clear, even when the tide draws back to reveal rock or reef or hidden precipice. She showed me myself, a key piercing my heart chakra. “The key that unlocks the world,” she said.


Tuesday, 3rd November

I called on @Lady_Eva’s Angel of Lost Things:

  • Drew the Angel’s sigil in black ink on paper.
  • On the back, I wrote a little rhyme outlining my petition.
  • Lit a blue candle, a pretty, new, light pink taper, and a candy-smelling incense that reminds me of pink musk sticks (my childhood favourite).
  • Meditated for a few minutes by looking through the candle flame, then opened her sigil while calling her by her title.
  • Once the sigil was flashing, I addressed the Angel of Lost Things, and read my little rhyme aloud:

to you I ask, return to me
playfulness, calm certainty.
the mindset that I had back then.
what was lost is mine again.
the setting moon, the rising sun,
it is done! it is done!

I pictured the result by thinking the thoughts and feeling the attitude I intend to embody once again, folded the petition, lit it with the pink candle, and dropped it into my “cauldron” to burn.

Interestingly, it burned down in the shape of unfolding petals before crumbling into ash. The pink candle flame was dancing wildly, and a nice calm energy suffused the room. :relaxed: :cherry_blossom:

Edit: I have also seen more movement from the affirmations I’ve been looping since around this time last week. :crossed_fingers:


Can’t believe it’s been over two weeks since I posted :thinking: normally it’s hard to shut me up.

Most of my time has been spent working in the MFWB group, rather than performing rituals for myself.

Couple things to report for posterity’s sake:

  • A handful of very specific romance-related rituals and LOA manifestations have worked to the letter… on someone other than my intended target. I’m not even mad. In fact, I am happy, and I see that happiness continuing into the future. Absolutely surreal though and makes me question my casual dismissal of “divine intervention”.

  • Two weekends ago I woke up to it raining and opened the curtains in my room to enjoy the view, only to find a dead toad – belly-up and with its mouth full of dirt – on the windowsill, a foot away from where my head lies when I sleep. No obvious signs of what killed it (normally it’d have its guts eaten by birds). Took a photo of it to show people and the photo had some odd visual glitch in it. Took it off the property and disposed of it. Found another dead toad in the yard while I was out there. Bit concerning. :grimacing:

LOA-style manifestation seems to be treating me pretty well. Currently working on physical changes so it’ll be interesting to see how that pans out.

Peace :two_hearts:


Saturday, 14th November

Began one ritual each with Haniel (ongoing) and Karviel, once per day for seven days. Missed a night so concluded Karviel ritual 22 Nov. Side note: I have so many damn F e e l i n g s now. Can only hope that as promised, those feelings will be returned a hundredfold.

Thursday, 19th November

On performing the opening/protection ritual from DoM, had a spontaneous vision of… something. The environment full of intersecting prisms, dodecahedrons or icosahedrons, all entangled in an endless net underlying everything. And I had the sense that I could fill and colour each one of them with intent; shading them with a different ‘feel’, watching them flowing from future to past. And shading not only those of the ‘future’, but those of the ‘past’ as well, to create a ripple, or a flow, of intent.

Friday, 20th November

Came home and put on headphones with some binaural tones, meditated for about an hour. Came out of meditation and put on a TV show while I considered what to eat. TV show characters are in a band, they’re playing live music. “This next song is called… Sorceror.” The ceiling light above me starts flickering in time with the music in the show. The song ends. The light comes back on and stays on. Lel

Monday, 23rd November

Woke up sweating from a strange dream. I’d left some event and was walking through the bush back to my car, when a huge white goanna (monitor lizard) slithered out from under the rocks beside the path. Two more white goannas followed it, a medium-sized one, and a small one. The huge lizard walked out onto the path and lay down on its belly, and the two smaller lizards crawled inside it. It noticed another random stranger walking on the same path as me, and approached him, menacing him. I backed away and then turned and ran. The goanna chased me, got ahead of me, and lunged, so I was on my back trying fend it off with a stick. It turned into a large black house-cat, hissing in my face. I strangled it until it was near unconscious and subdued, and then ran back to the safety of my car, still being chased, but managing to escape.

Noting it here for posterity, since this is the second time in the past few weeks I’ve dreamt of being vulnerable on my back as a white animal attacked me.


Quick read for current situation, noting it here for future reference:

Four of swords – nine of cups – two of wands

Thursday, 26th November

Opeth – Marrow of the Earth


From Shadows on the Wall – to In Cold Dwellings – now Marrow of the Earth.

Always wanted to be an author of novels but the idea of static rather than dynamic and changeable is… itchy and irksome. Things need the right to change; hard to do that in hardcover. But, do like the idea of changing with the tides, or the breeze. So, updating title to reflect my… mood? Outlook?


In some ways I actually saw this play out the very next day (today); perhaps not all of it, but the current or the spirit of it. Wasn’t for me but for someone else.


Looking back now at my “old” posts. I’ve come a long way, in some ways, and in others, not so much. A lot of things left said but un-done, true to my nature. :stuck_out_tongue: Given the above, I wonder if my next pondered worthwhile project would be a tarot draw at the beginning and end of each day.

Concluded my working for the magickal friends-with-benefits group. Nice to have a reason to perform magic each day. Now; to find a new project to work towards.


I’ve been listening to this on repeat:

My mood has been generally lifted. What’s more, I find my general impatience at life has been soothed.


“The root of all suffering.”

It is not desire itself that causes suffering, but the feeling of lack which it entails… causing us to notice the separation between what we have and what we want – the absence of the desired thing. The key, then, is not to rid yourself of desire, but to rid yourself of lack and the feeling of separation.


OBE / Lucidity

Last night I had my very first clean separation OBE leading into a fully lucid dream.

Y’all. I was so excited. This is like my holy grail. I love to sleep, I love to dream, and being lucid in a dream is like this unutterably pleasurable pinnacle of experience (I’m easily pleased, obviously). Luckily I cannot leave my body or dream with full lucidity on demand, or there’s no doubt I’d achieve peak ascetic hermit lifestyle purely as a byproduct of never wanting to do anything else.

So, a toast to it being the first of many. :wine_glass:

To spare the details (jk, I have written everything I remember further down below for anyone who’s actually interested), I’ll just note how multi-layered the experience was, what I think contributed, et cetera.

  • Fasted for something like 20 hours, ate a small meal, then fasted again for around eight hours, through dinnertime. (Mostly unintentional.)

  • Was on heavy painkillers and a tranquilliser. (Prescription/medical necessity, not recreational, fwiw, and I certainly do not recommend this to anyone, only noting it here for posterity.)

  • Dozed in a twilight state for an extended period without fully falling asleep, so I was in a hypnagogic state for a long time, and cycled through multiple sleep paralysis episodes. Usually these happen when I’m lying on my back; interestingly in this case, I was on my side but I lay completely motionless for long enough that my body fell asleep.

  • Rather than the usual deafening buzzing/ringing noise that accompanies sleep paralysis episodes, rather this time I heard whooshing noises, like the wind blowing strongly.

  • Had around three or four sleep paralysis episodes before I was able to separate.

  • I called to Metatron.

  • At some point I obviously fell asleep, but the timeline is blurred. When I left my body, I was completely aware of doing so. It was only on truly waking and then reflecting on the experience that I realised the environment of the experience – while very crisp, detailed, and memorable – was unrealistic, not true to life. My lucid dream-self didn’t question the incongruities at all, and took them as realism, the same way that the non-lucid dream-self does not question the reality of their environment… which is really a fancy way of saying that I left my body, and was floating in my bedroom above my own sleeping form, and I knew it beyond question to be my bedroom, etc., without recognising that the furniture was arranged in a way I’ve never arranged it, and there was a window there that doesn’t exist in real life, which led out into a backyard from a completely different house I lived in when I was younger. That kind of thing.


First, beforehand, as I was cycling through sleep paralysis episodes, I recognised them as they kept happening, and decided to try using them to my advantage. The first was uncomfortable, and with that slight tinge of fear. I couldn’t see anything. The paralysis ended, I drew the covers back up over my head, and tried again.

The second paralysis episode, I chanted archangel Michael’s name in my head. I don’t have a strong connection to him, nor have I ever worked with him directly, but it seemed right given his role as protector, and because I have been working with angelic currents lately. I tried to leave my body by sinking through the mattress, straining for it. Rather than the deafeningly loud ringing and buzzing in my ears that I’m used to, I heard a whooshing noise, like a gale blowing 'round the eaves of the house. Again, I could see nothing.

The third time, I heard a voice whisper something like, “call your name,” and I immediately thought of Metatron, and began to call to him. I could see, in all the blackness, a single distant star, haloed with light – that corona effect when you’re not wearing your glasses, or of streetlamps through the windshield on a rainy night. I tried to rise from my body. Again I called to Metatron. I heard the whoosh of wind blowing past, again while I was straining to rise.

The image of the star grew larger, and resolved into a strange image. A white circle with a black silhouette, like a caricature of a squat, muscular man. He raised a hand and held up one – two – three fingers. The vision in the circle changed, and it took me a moment to realise I was looking as though through a narrow tunnel at my own body. I watched my body writhe and strain and violently launch itself up from the mattress.

Unsure if there was a fourth paralysis episode, or whether that last one drew itself out further; likely this is the point where I crossed into sleep. I chanted Metatron’s name again, then willed myself to rise, and then simply lifted and peeled away from my body, and was free. I was elated, and I remember thinking “Holy shit, I can’t wait to write about this on BALG.” :woman_facepalming:

So there I was, floating above my own sleeping form. I reached down and grasped my own legs and marvelled at feeling my own sleeping flesh. Then figuring I may as well make the most of it, I turned and walked straight through the wall and was outside in the yard, one very reminiscent of the backyard outside my childhood bedroom window. As soon as I tried to step through the fence, I found myself back in my bedroom in front of the window, and it took me a few tries of running the exact same route to to realise I was essentially trapped in an endless corridor.

Instead I left my room by walking through the closed door. Incongruities here which I didn’t question at the time, such as sensing my sibling in a nearby room (they currently live in a different state). I saw my roommate’s cats, who noticed me, and one of them immediately ran to me and began yowling for attention. I floated through the rest of the house (an amalgamation of various houses I’ve lived in). The front door was ajar, I walked through it and found myself in what is, on reflection, something very like a video game simulation of a perfect neighbourhood. I’d noticed that I didn’t have anything like the cord or thread connecting me to my physical body that some people speak of, but I also acknowledged that I shouldn’t stray too far, and I’d decided this was essentially the “tutorial area”, and that I should stay nearby and not try to overextend.

The stars overheard were so thickly clustered, bright and beautiful. I danced and turned cartwheels on the lawn, and then realising nothing really tethered me to the earth I just floated up, and glided around the neighbourhood. Not much else here to really note; there were a lot of odd, random structures (again, very video-game-esque), like a giant water tower, and another very tall structure which, when I flew over to it, turned out to be an impossibly tall slide… like you’d find at a children’s playground. I flew to the top but became apprehensive when I considered the size of the slide tube thing and the height of the structure, and that trepidation made me hesitate. After a moment I floated away from the structure back down towards the ground, which caused me to teleport back to my dream-bedroom and my sleeping body, and then immediately awaken in real life.

It was super disorienting, and after I woke up I was in awe for a few moments. Only when I began reflecting and putting the pieces together did it become clear it was not a “true” OBE or astral projection; rather it was an OBE-triggered lucid dream, very vividly experienced and remembered. The question is whether the OBE separation itself was “real”, and what triggered the dream. So strange to dream of an OBE and that in itself causing lucidity, but that blurred line fascinates me. Again, here’s to many more.