TL;DR: I have lost my ability to connect with spirits and magick, and i am hoping someone here is a medium or something and can summon Bathin or communicate with my dragon guardian about why i don’t feel them anymore. or magick in general.
I have worked with some demons before, but when it comes to making a deal with them, things get odd. I have asked Bathin to help me with astral projection, summoned him and so forth. Which he did help (didn’t succeed, but if I wasn’t so tired that day it would’ve worked), but a few days later I decided to go away from magick (first summoning, I saw changes in my personality and such, which made me end the deal… I was obviously not ready emotionall). Then I came back, and I entered another pact, but the difference being that I don’t feel anything anymore, and I think the words that come into my mind are purely just me. I don’t feel magick like I used to. I can still cast spells and do tarot and all that, but when it comes to communication with spirits, I have a difficult time. I don’t trust that what is happening is true. Unlike my past self, I am emotionally ready to summon demons again, and I have. I just went by the words that came from nowhere, my inner monolauge. But at last, I don’t know anymore if I am able to communicate like before. In the past, it wasn’t like an outside voice talking with me, it was like a voice inside me. The difference is that this doesn’t feel the same. I need guidance as into what to do. If any of you can perhaps ask Bathin what I should do, or anyone, please do. This isn’t just him either, it’s also my dragon guardian, and I feel like he’s left me, but at last I’m not sure. I’m sorry, this is kinda just a rant.