I spend most my time reading posts on this site rather trying to do magick. My magickal powers are only in my dreams except that I can read tarot cards, scry and tell roughly if there is a spirit in the room. I don’t have any senses. My third eye is closed. I also have depression and anxiety. I am a current victim of abuse. All these combined make me not the ideal person so contact spirits as I have lots and lots of “weaknesses”. I fear that at my first evocation I’ll lose touch with reality. When I scryed 3 times afterwards I felt like I was losing my mind after seeing what exists in the spirit dimension. So my evocation method needs to be visually blurry and have some way I can rationalise the experience to not completely lose my mind. Maybe I can evoke into an online scrying mirror. I am terrified of demons and spirits. I have a really hard time trusting anyone or anything because of my self diagnosed CPTSD thanks to the abuse I have suffered for a really long time. This abuse is emotional abuse, coercive control, physical, mental. I want to escape my abusers and think an angel or a spirit can help me. But that depends on how good natured this spirit is. I don’t want to be in an even worse position than before evoking. But something keeps on pushing me to make contact. To go on this forum and post. Something instinctual was pushing me to get involved with crystals. I had someone tell me I had psychosis because I told them I was being healed by crystals. It’s a religious belief how can I have psychosis? Any help is greatly appreciated. My moral compass is also very overactive. I have a strong aversion to anything considered bad. I will faint if I see anything scary.
The fuck is this?
Don’t do this. It’s a professional’s job.
This is the Orphic hymn used for thousands of years to summon Artemis. I think she wants to be in your corner.
Don’t self diagnose yourself with anything unless you’re an experienced professional in the area we’re speaking about.
Hi there, well maybe people here have another opinion, but you know sometimes you can get more help in the normal world as in the spiritual world. I think to start doing some steps in the occult you have to be stable, to have some controll over your life, it is not the best option to start working with energies and realms that are very intense when your body and your mind are not at least in some way healthy.
You can harm yourself badly, not because the spirits and so on are the “bad ones” but because your energy centers and your emotional life are not prepared.
Off course you can work in your spiritual improvement, it will surelly help you to improve your condition, but I would you recomend you to do at first your homework.
Change your diet, eat healthy food, learn about nutrition and eat healthy.
Exercise, do yoga, jogging, everything that helps you to get more oxigen.
Learn about breathing exercises
Keep away from drugs and alcohol.
Look for a professional you can trust and talk about your problems
I think you would like to hear anything different from that. But I really have the feeling that this is what you need to hear and do. Spiritual work starts in your body and your mind. Then you can summon and handle whatever you want. take care
I grew up in an abusive environment so I understand where you’re coming from. You don’t have any where you can go for sanctuary?
If you’re able to dream and visualize then your 3rd eye isn’t closed. People who talk about the 3rd eye being closed are usually referring to their pineal gland being calcified. If you’re worried about this there’s supplements you can take and diets you can follow that will aid in the decalcification process. I would just work with it more and it will naturally decalcify on its own.
Everybody goes through a time when they feel weak. It’s okay to feel vulnerable. I wouldn’t dwell on this though. The reason why your mind is making you to focus on this is so you can transmute these perceived weaknesses into strengths. I know everyone has their own circumstances but the best thing you do right now is set some goals that will help you to overcome your perceived weaknesses and focus on the present. Approach every day with the understanding of “what can I do right now to bring me closer to my goal.” It’s okay even if you accomplish little things each day. Little things add up over time.
There’s a day side and night side to everything. Know the difference and you can shut it off.
I don’t see how this would work but I’m a bit old school when it comes to this stuff. I think the mirror or bowl should be consecrated and used with with herbs and elements that pertain to the spirit you’re working with.
A spirit can help you but your going to have to take the steps necessary to escape this situation on your own. I faced a similar situation in my life. When I became a satanist I felt empowered for the first time. You could call this empowerment the mask of satan. Being self empowered I was able to reclaim my life and escape my abusers. I did the work I needed to do so I could leave and live a more fulfilling life. It wasn’t easy but I overcame my oppressors.
Do your abusers think this when they abuse you? You need to put yourself first because you’re in a toxic frame of mind. Taking care of yourself first isn’t a bad thing. Focus on getting yourself somewhere safe first. Put yourself in a position where nobody can hurt you. Then worry about what’s right and wrong. (I’m not telling you to break the law btw)
skimming your post OP kinda made me a bit depressed and Im somewhat sadistic.
Have you heard of inner smile and 6 healing sounds?Practice them
Raise your vibrations please.
You can practice with Luna:
Her job is to clear spaces of unwanted energy. So she may not be the best to assist specifically with leaving an abusive environment. But she is a good starting point to develop evocation skill safely.
I second this. Self-diagnosis is dangerous for both you and people who have actually been diagnosed by professionals.
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/debunking-myths-the-mind/201005/the-dangers-self-diagnosis%3Famp
Going off what others have said here, please look to physical rather than metaphysical ways to improve your situation first. I’m sure you’ve already looked into various avenues, but I just wanted to get that out of the way. I’ve been in a similar situation and trust me, you need to work both on the physical and metaphysical level to get somewhere.
Additionally, you say you’re afraid of demons and spirits but want to summon an angel? The implications that one is more scary and bad than the other is something you need to unlearn. There are scary looking angels that can help men do awful things, and there are demons who simply look like men who can cure disease or bring love. Unlearn your fear of them and don’t put them into boxes like this.
With that out of the way, I’ve had great success working with Flauros. He has been very patient with me ever since I evoked him a while back. I had a time sensitive matter, so I was nervous about that and the fact I was doing my first summoning ever.
He does look rather daunting in illustrations and is said to have a terrible countenance, but my experience was different. He didn’t speak (or I could not hear him, either way), he looked like a barely-there shadowy figure, he didn’t do anything abrupt or shocking; he’d simply listen, accept his offering, and go to work.
And boy does he work when you really need people out of your way or knocked down a peg, either harmlessly or not so much.
I would certainly recommend working with him once you get your other stuff sorted first.
You cannot trust anyone just because you got abused.
Trust those who dont abuse you atleast otherwise you will have a real hard time to live.