Hello fellow magicians, i am grateful to be a part of this. My life has been a complete mess for far too long. I am an opiate/benzo and occasional amphetamine addict. I seek to fix this block in my road that has been deatroying my life. I use to use magic to get money, and i was very good at it, when i was in that zone i never failed at getting whatever i wanted. Ive always dabbles in drug use and i used magic to have access to pills and it worked. But at this point in my life 7 years later, i need to recreate myself and gain back that power i lost along the way. I am an empty shell of what i use to be. The love of my life left me a month ago for someone else. Now i sit at rock bottom ready to clime out. Any suggestions on a ritual to re align myself? I realize im going to have to quit the drugs and that will be hell. Idk if im ready for that or when ill be ready. Even tho its the one thing holding me back, nothing is harder to let go. Im in a dark place yall. Any advice will be appreciated.
Welcome to the forum.
Thank you. Happy to be a part of it.
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You don’t have to quit the drugs. I use meth quite often as it aids me in my magic. But here check this out that we’ve been working on and take what you can from it. The part about “the Rock” is in reference to meth but also to Jesus. And Crystal can refer to his Mother, the Hope of the Hopeless. Here’s the link to it on my blog:
Liturgy of Nights // Liturgies of the Age to Come
Hope it helps!
Peace
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I mean I am no genius but there is such thing as a functioning addict.
It just depends on what you think will help you do what you want to do.
Don’t doubt yourself, man, doubts are not good no matter who or what you are.
Well not to be dumb or anything but that search bar will be your best friend on this forum if you don’t have any grimoires.
Welcome to the forum.
Awesome thanks yall. This indeed is the coolest forum ive ever come across. Ive already absorbed a lot of info. Im taking lots of notes as i will be going into the wilderness for 9 days a week from now to focus on magick and clearing my head of all that has been holding me back. I dont plan on quitting drugs forever by any means, i just have a drive to do some intense shadow work. Because of my addictive cycle i find myself in the same situation everytime. Its something i must gain control of in order to better my outcomes. I definately see how amphetamines can aid and those arent what i have an issue with… hmm. Thank you all for your input, finding a community like this is something i am beyond grateful for.
I absolutely do not encourage drug use. But welcome none the less. It’s a commonly known fact that drug abuse can hinder or outright destroy psychic and magickal abilities. So be advised.
Could attending a properly-run traditonal ayahuasca ritual run by indigenous shamans in south America help you maybe?
I’ve read amazing things about that unblocking people from addiction and also, opening the gateway to what people seek in “street” drugs.
Might be worth researching, you’re in pretty deep so minimising pain is a rational way to support your own health, you don’t need any more torture than necessary when getting this sorted out.
I don’t know if you saw this, but if you’re hating on yourself, I posted why I think magicians are often addicts here:
Absolutely. I remember before this all got out of hand, i was so in tune, i could always quickly manifest my desires with ease and continous use of opiates destroyed my clairvoyance. But as i taper i feel that coming back. I had a successful ritual i did last to get my ex to contact me and sure as shit she got in touch with me today. Ive been down to one pill a day for a little over a week now. From a 7 year binge of taking larger ammounts than anyone i personally know to where i am now, the progress and benefits are undenyable. That clairvoyance is quickly coming back to me.
Welcome to the forum. Lilith did very deep shadow work with me. It tore my life apart and then she put everything back together the right way.
Shadows are difficult to feel, they are so deep that we’re not even the slightest bit aware of them. It’s weird when you realize that they influence your behavior but you literally have no clue why. If you want I can give you some pointers. 
Im always down for knowledge. A shiver crept down my spine as i read your message, as if the shadow knows there is much work to be done.
There is. I had no idea! I can pm you with some exercise that will get you started.
Is this a pm, or if not how do i pm?